Baby gift from ILs

[Anonymous]

I need to vent anonymously because I know this makes me sound shallow, but I can’t help it.

My in-laws are retired and wealthy with lots of disposable cash. For example, they recently bought his and hers Teslas, seemingly on a whim. These are “fun” cars for them that they have in addition to their SUVs that they drive regularly.

DH and I had our first baby over the summer. This is not their in-laws’ grandchild. In-laws told us they wanted to buy us a stroller as a baby gift. Great, very generous, it sounded like. They told us to pick what we like and they’d pay for it. Next thing I know, they’ve given us a card with a $100 check marked “stroller”. Kinda awkward, but we went ahead and bought the stroller we wanted, which, as you can imagine, was well over $100. DH and I both thought this was odd especially since they have other grandchildren so have been in that world a while… it’s not like they’re thinking $100 would get you a stroller back in the day, so it would now, too.

Anyway, I’d probably just shrug it off as odd, except now, whenever we see them, and often we do something with the baby in the stroller, they’re gratuitously referring to it as “our stroller” saying things like, “wow, glad to see you’re getting so much use from our stroller.” It would be obnoxious if they’d bought us the stroller but it’s over the top since they paid about 15% of the stroller’s cost. It’s taking all I have not to say this to them!

Vent over, but I’m justified in thinking they’re terribly cheap, right?

[Anonymous]

OP again. Typo in my post, it should’ve said that this isn’t my in-laws’ first grandchild rather than “this is not their in-laws grandchild”. Hope this clarifies!

[Anonymous]

There are plenty of strollers that cost less than $100 today. The fact that you chose a $700 stroller doesn't mean that $100 isn't a nice gift.

[Anonymous]

“Yes, thanks! We really appreciate your contribution toward Larlo’s stroller!”

[Anonymous]

Oh I go through stuff like this with my father in law allllllll the time. He’s just cheap, and thinks things should cost what they cost 50 years ago.

He wanted to throw our rehearsal dinner. We asked for a budget. He came back with $1000. Mind you, bridal party, spouses, parents, siblings, and grandparents? 50 people. Our wedding planner told us for that amount of money, we could have pizza and beer. We went back and told him that. He ended up happily paying for a traditional rehearsal dinner (just like in your case, he has tons of money). He’s very generous he just has no sense of the reality of what things cost.

How is your husband’s relationship with them? If it’s very good (as all the parent relationships are in our family), he could have gone back to them and said something like “we got your card and check! Thank you so much, we’re so thrilled you want to help us get ready for the baby. Did want to let you know that, unfortunately, baby gear has gotten more expensive, so the stroller we had our eye on will cost a bit more than that, but we’re happy to pay for the rest.” Or something similar. Breezy, give them an easy out, lots of gratitude. But it would give them a chance to say “oh! Really? How much?” And in our case, he would have had insane shock but absolutely paid the full amount. And it’s honestly what he would want in this case. If it was my FIL, he’d be assuming a stroller cost $60 and he just gave you this over the tip generous gift, which is what he WANTS to do.

But, the ship has sailed. It would be TOTALLY obnoxious to say anything at this point. Shrug, be glad they are loving and involved, and move on.

[Anonymous]

You sound greedy. $100 can get you a decent stroller. You expect them to buy you a $1K stroller.

[Anonymous]

If you spent $700 on a stroller you’re an idiot. In terms of your IL’s that’s kind of cheap but I’d be interested in how they view you as a DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you spent $700 on a stroller you’re an idiot. In terms of your IL’s that’s kind of cheap but I’d be interested in how they view you as a DIL.

Oh please - walk into any library in the suburbs in this area and it’s filled to the brim with Uppababy vistas. That sentiment is not shared with the masses here.

[Anonymous]

This would totally irk me. But I think saying nothing and just ignoring this very specific comment is the way to go.

Lots of deep breaths!!!

[Anonymous]

I guarantee that my parents (who have several grandchildren) have absolutely no idea how much a stroller costs. Heck, I only barely know because I got mine second hand. It’s not like they’re constantly in stores that sell strollers.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you can't really say anything. It sucks. Might as well get over it since there will be a lot more things coming down the pike, you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I need to vent anonymously because I know this makes me sound shallow, but I can’t help it.

My in-laws are retired and wealthy with lots of disposable cash. For example, they recently bought his and hers Teslas, seemingly on a whim. These are “fun” cars for them that they have in addition to their SUVs that they drive regularly.

DH and I had our first baby over the summer. This is not their in-laws’ grandchild. In-laws told us they wanted to buy us a stroller as a baby gift. Great, very generous, it sounded like. They told us to pick what we like and they’d pay for it. Next thing I know, they’ve given us a card with a $100 check marked “stroller”. Kinda awkward, but we went ahead and bought the stroller we wanted, which, as you can imagine, was well over $100. DH and I both thought this was odd especially since they have other grandchildren so have been in that world a while… it’s not like they’re thinking $100 would get you a stroller back in the day, so it would now, too.

Anyway, I’d probably just shrug it off as odd, except now, whenever we see them, and often we do something with the baby in the stroller, they’re gratuitously referring to it as “our stroller” saying things like, “wow, glad to see you’re getting so much use from our stroller.” It would be obnoxious if they’d bought us the stroller but it’s over the top since they paid about 15% of the stroller’s cost. It’s taking all I have not to say this to them!

Vent over, but I’m justified in thinking they’re terribly cheap, right?

You are shallow. They gave you money. You could have gotten a cheaper one. Babies don't care! They mostly want to be held. I think you would have an argument if they gave you $15 diapers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you spent $700 on a stroller you’re an idiot. In terms of your IL’s that’s kind of cheap but I’d be interested in how they view you as a DIL.

Oh please - walk into any library in the suburbs in this area and it’s filled to the brim with Uppababy vistas. That sentiment is not shared with the masses here.

Ha! An Uppababy vista is $1000

Even a basic graco stroller from Target is $300

Prices of everything are going up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Yes, thanks! We really appreciate your contribution toward Larlo’s stroller!”

Correction: "Yes, thanks. We really appreciate your 15% contribution towards Larlo's stroller! It helped bring down the cost to $600".
And leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you spent $700 on a stroller you’re an idiot. In terms of your IL’s that’s kind of cheap but I’d be interested in how they view you as a DIL.

Oh please - walk into any library in the suburbs in this area and it’s filled to the brim with Uppababy vistas. That sentiment is not shared with the masses here.

Ha! An Uppababy vista is $1000

Even a basic graco stroller from Target is $300

Prices of everything are going up.

What? This Graco stroller is $120, on sale for $77 https://www.gracobaby.com/strollers/compact-lightweight-strollers/nimblelite-lightweight-stroller/SAP_2106657.html