Sober Friends
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Anonymous
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About half my college friends are now- self proclainmed- 'sober' at 45-50. Only one of the ten was actually ever a problem drinker/drug user- and even then not nonfunctioning. These are successful professionals. Executives, married, kids in grad school. etc.
There is talk of a renunon this summer for a Carribbean getaway. Small island- multiple lodgings. No one will be staying in a group house. I'm not sober. I drink, daily, though rarely to excess, and I like to smoke weed/ eat edibles. Would you have any apprehension drinking and smoking in front of this group? I mean, of course, it is OK but is it rude? Am I to default to other people's sobriety standard? |
Anonymous
| Hang out with the other half of your college friends? |
Anonymous
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I don’t think it would be rude of you and no requirement to be sober on their behalf. You may find yourself naturally drinking and smoking less around them.
You sure they don’t do edibles? I notice a lot of people in my age group (same as you) cutting back on drinking and increasing consumption of edibles/THC tinctures. |
Anonymous
| A lot of my friends at the same age tried not drinking and felt much better. I drink less for the same reason - now that I’m 50 it affects my sleep and well being to the point that I find it’s not worth it (for me, that means I drink when I’m out with friends but never at home anymore). If that’s what’s going on (and not some recovery issue) it’s totally fine to consume around them, as long as you aren’t the dopey stoned one all the time (because that’s just not charming at this age!) |
Anonymous
| I don't think you need to default to others' sobriety standard. I think it's pretty common for people approaching 50 to give up drinking due to health issues (weight gain, sleep issues, anxiety, etc). "Mixed" gatherings will be the norm. Smoking is a little different from drinking, because of secondhand smoke. |
Anonymous
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I don’t drink or do drugs and never have, but I don’t care if people drink around me. I can’t stand the smell of weed, so I don’t like to be around smokers. I do mind being around people who are obviously drunk or intoxicated. They just are not pleasant to be around and they are not as amusing as they think they are.
If you are 50 and still getting loudly, excessively drunk, then you do have a problem and people will not want to be an around you. But having a drink and some wine? Nobody cares. |
Anonymous
| I don't think it's weird, but I would be concerned if you need to drink alone every day. That is a red flag. |
Anonymous
| A guy I dated who was in his mid 40s had a few drinks every night. I never saw him drunk and he was never obnoxious. He did, however, need Viagra and a little research will reveal that there is a direct correlation with drinking. |
Anonymous
| Apple Watches and their equivalent have led many of my friends to stop or cut back drinking because they see the tangible results of alcohols the next morning every time. |
Anonymous
| I would definitely side eye a friend who drinks daily and does edibles and smokes. I do not want to hang out with druggies. I much prefer the alcoholics.I drink and would drink daily on vacation fwiw. |
Anonymous
| I am in my 50s & you just described my DH and I. We wouldn't care at all if you drank or smoked around us. |
Anonymous
| I'm 43 and sober and I would not care one bit if someone was drunk if we were on vacation. I actually just had a vacation with 10 people many of whom drank tons. While they were hit HARD with hangovers, I enjoyed spending time with them, going to dinners, dancing, etc. I just enjoyed my sleep and mornings and daytime activities as well. The ones with hangover missed out on this and did a lot of daytime lounging at the pool/drinking which was totally fine. It's just a preference. Not everyone has to enjoy everything the same to enjoy a vacation together. |
Anonymous
| My apprehension about smoking in front of that group would be the stink. I do not want to be smelly and have nasty weed breath around my friends, ever. |
Anonymous
| do you really still smoke? Are you legit smoking a joint or just vaping? |
Anonymous
| Just don't be sloppy or stinky. |