No one asked for my ID or had me sign anything when I picked my daughter up early from school- say something?

[Anonymous]

My DD is in Kindergarten at a public school. Throughout registration and info nights they made such a huge deal about safety and not letting people into the building and scanning everyones ID and having adults who pick up children have to have matching IDs to those on the approved pick up list. Then yesterday the nurse called and said my DD wasn't feeling well so I went to pick her up. I got there, the receptionist didn't even acknowledge me til I said "Hi I'm here because the nurse called and said my daughter is sick". She didn't say anything to me, didn't ask my DD's name, just picked up her phone and said "the mom is here", DD came down the hallway, and we walked out. No signing her out, no ID, no asking my name, etc.

I was a little taken aback, but maybe I'm overly sensitive as a former child of a tumultuous divorce where it absolutely would not have been safe for me to leave with anyone but my mom. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Need you be told, public schools are in reality are not concerned about your child’s safety. Just stop fooling yourself.

[Anonymous]

there should be a sign out sheet, but at the same time, DD was sick, nurse call the mom from DD's "in case of emergency" contact info, 20 minutes later, mom shows up and says "hi I'm mom, nurse called to say DD was sick"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is in Kindergarten at a public school. Throughout registration and info nights they made such a huge deal about safety and not letting people into the building and scanning everyones ID and having adults who pick up children have to have matching IDs to those on the approved pick up list. Then yesterday the nurse called and said my DD wasn't feeling well so I went to pick her up. I got there, the receptionist didn't even acknowledge me til I said "Hi I'm here because the nurse called and said my daughter is sick". She didn't say anything to me, didn't ask my DD's name, just picked up her phone and said "the mom is here", DD came down the hallway, and we walked out. No signing her out, no ID, no asking my name, etc.

I was a little taken aback, but maybe I'm overly sensitive as a former child of a tumultuous divorce where it absolutely would not have been safe for me to leave with anyone but my mom. Thoughts?

It’s concerning and you should speak up about it because they did not follow procedure. However, since they expected of you they weren’t necessarily concerned about a stranger picking her up and knowing she was in the nurses office. Most elementary schools have a sign in sign out sheet somewhere in the office. Since you didn’t do that maybe that’s your in to ask him what the procedure is since nobody asked you for ID and you didn’t sign out.

[Anonymous]

What good is a sign in sign out sheet?Handwriting can purposely be made to be illegible. Not saying I mind the trusting attitude but schools lose parental confidence every time there is a disconnect between how they say they handle things and reality.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal

[Anonymous]

^ because of comments like this, I would speak up. We ought to hold our school personnel to a higher standard of professionalism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: there should be a sign out sheet, but at the same time, DD was sick, nurse call the mom from DD's "in case of emergency" contact info, 20 minutes later, mom shows up and says "hi I'm mom, nurse called to say DD was sick"

But then again, a kid being sick and a mom being called probably happens often. The presumption is that this is mom that was called, still there's small chance it isn't.

[Anonymous]

In my kids' MCPS elementary school, there have been times when I was not asked to sign in or show ID, just like you described. But I thought they recognized me from all the drop-offs and pick-ups I'd done! After K, the kids are actually allowed to leave the building and wait out in front for their parents, and they can go home with literally anyone.

And it goes the other way too. In middle school, after a building flood, the Principal, who must have been harried, suddenly decided that adults who picked up needed to show ID. It led to a complete blockage of all that neighborhood including main arteries, because all the parents had jumped into their cars and gone to the school, and were waiting to show their ID. After an hour, the Principal got the message that this was creating complete gridlock, and the kids were released freely.

There's always going to be human error, OP. But it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY that anything bad would happen to your child. You can say something, but I don't think it will change the risk factor.

[Anonymous]

From a risk standpoint, I think this is actually lower risk than regular pickup. If the concern is a custody issue or person on the "do not allow this person to pick up my child" list, then a scenario where the nurse calls mom midday and mom shows up immediately after is much lower than the abusive dad with a protective order showing up at regular pickup and the kindergartener running off with him. Our school is actually the opposite where midday you have to check in with the security guard and front desk staff, then sign out on the sheet for early/mid day pickup, and at dismissal they just make eye contact with the adult and let the kids run off. I assume the teachers know which kids have a "do not allow pickup" list, and are more mindful with those kids. But definitely less secure than our previous school that required a school-issued parent ID or photo ID before they'd release the child at the end of the day.

That said, they have a policy and didn't follow it. It would be totally appropriate to ask the admin about the early sign out policies, because you were surprised they didn't have to do anything when you got a call from the nurse.

[Anonymous]

Oh it can be so much worse! A former friend had like ten people as her emergency contacts for her kid, and was an alcoholic so used them all liberally. This kid would just run up to any of her mom’s friends who were near her school and ask if they were there to pick her up that day. The school let her leave with anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: there should be a sign out sheet, but at the same time, DD was sick, nurse call the mom from DD's "in case of emergency" contact info, 20 minutes later, mom shows up and says "hi I'm mom, nurse called to say DD was sick"

This! Talk us through the scenario where you were actually a bad guy masquerading as mom, OP? Also, you don't think a kindergartener would say, "that's not my mom." Or would walk out looking confused and say, "they said my mom is here but I don't see her." I really don't see how an ID could have made this more safe.

[Anonymous]

The schools talk a good game but in my experience at many schools this is typical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: there should be a sign out sheet, but at the same time, DD was sick, nurse call the mom from DD's "in case of emergency" contact info, 20 minutes later, mom shows up and says "hi I'm mom, nurse called to say DD was sick"

This! Talk us through the scenario where you were actually a bad guy masquerading as mom, OP? Also, you don't think a kindergartener would say, "that's not my mom." Or would walk out looking confused and say, "they said my mom is here but I don't see her." I really don't see how an ID could have made this more safe.

In the event of someone the kid knows, generally a non-custodial parent, but who isn't allowed access, it makes sense, but hopefully the school knows which kids have that issue. I don't see the need for most kids. I've never had to show an ID either midday or at the end of the day, only sign out if picking up midday. End of the day is a total free-for-all where as long as the kid recognizes you you're good to go.

[Anonymous]

I volunteered at a school office and asked for ids but also had to ask from people I knew very well which felt silly because I was told EVERY person must show ID. It is a little silly when you think about them all just walking out at release time.
There is only so much you can do but the MOST important thing to do is tell your kid not to leave with anyone except their parents/ grandparents/ your list. If someone in your orbit is an issue, tell the front office never to release your kid to them.