Fraternity for a decent human being

[Anonymous]

My son just finished recruitment for a fraternity at a Big State U in the Northeast. He just picked one house because he already knew people there who he liked. He went through several rounds and seemed to really connect with the people. The last event was an invite only event which involved having 30 members throw questions at him. It sounds like there was an alpha male who wanted him to profess his blind support for the group. He wondered if he said the right thing. He never heard back from them. He saw on instagram that they were having a bid night event without him.

If you saw my son's LinkedIn page, your overall impression would be that he is a decent human being. He's done volunteer projects and received most improved player for sports. He likes to have fun with friends and attend sports events. He drinks but I don't think he binges - has a cautious disposition.

The college has spring recruitment as well. One idea is to research the houses more through Instagram etc. What is the vibe? Do these guys take themselves too seriously? Are they slobs? Misfits? etc. Try again considering more options than just one house?

I also see service fraternities - may not be a fit - could be too pious or overly wholesome. A business fraternity looks like a possible good option - he's interested in business and it's open to all majors and genders and it's focused on personal and professional development and they also have outings and events.

He was drawn to the Greek system because it looked like fun. It would be an automatic group of people to hang out with some structured events.

Any other suggestions?

[Anonymous]

No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity

x100000

Holy crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity

Actually, it kind of sounds like he tells her everything and asks for advice. OP - I have no advice. The Greek system is so stupid. I hope he can find his people elsewhere. Maybe he should volunteer at an animal shelter or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son just finished recruitment for a fraternity at a Big State U in the Northeast. He just picked one house because he already knew people there who he liked. He went through several rounds and seemed to really connect with the people. The last event was an invite only event which involved having 30 members throw questions at him. It sounds like there was an alpha male who wanted him to profess his blind support for the group. He wondered if he said the right thing. He never heard back from them. He saw on instagram that they were having a bid night event without him.

If you saw my son's LinkedIn page, your overall impression would be that he is a decent human being. He's done volunteer projects and received most improved player for sports. He likes to have fun with friends and attend sports events. He drinks but I don't think he binges - has a cautious disposition.

The college has spring recruitment as well. One idea is to research the houses more through Instagram etc. What is the vibe? Do these guys take themselves too seriously? Are they slobs? Misfits? etc. Try again considering more options than just one house?

I also see service fraternities - may not be a fit - could be too pious or overly wholesome. A business fraternity looks like a possible good option - he's interested in business and it's open to all majors and genders and it's focused on personal and professional development and they also have outings and events.

He was drawn to the Greek system because it looked like fun. It would be an automatic group of people to hang out with some structured events.

Any other suggestions?

Wonder no more as it seems clear that your son did not say the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son just finished recruitment for a fraternity at a Big State U in the Northeast. He just picked one house because he already knew people there who he liked. He went through several rounds and seemed to really connect with the people. The last event was an invite only event which involved having 30 members throw questions at him. It sounds like there was an alpha male who wanted him to profess his blind support for the group. He wondered if he said the right thing. He never heard back from them. He saw on instagram that they were having a bid night event without him.

If you saw my son's LinkedIn page, your overall impression would be that he is a decent human being. He's done volunteer projects and received most improved player for sports. He likes to have fun with friends and attend sports events. He drinks but I don't think he binges - has a cautious disposition.

The college has spring recruitment as well. One idea is to research the houses more through Instagram etc. What is the vibe? Do these guys take themselves too seriously? Are they slobs? Misfits? etc. Try again considering more options than just one house?

I also see service fraternities - may not be a fit - could be too pious or overly wholesome. A business fraternity looks like a possible good option - he's interested in business and it's open to all majors and genders and it's focused on personal and professional development and they also have outings and events.

He was drawn to the Greek system because it looked like fun. It would be an automatic group of people to hang out with some structured events.

Any other suggestions?

Holy crap, you can't be serious with this. Get a life and stay out of his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son just finished recruitment for a fraternity at a Big State U in the Northeast. He just picked one house because he already knew people there who he liked. He went through several rounds and seemed to really connect with the people. The last event was an invite only event which involved having 30 members throw questions at him. It sounds like there was an alpha male who wanted him to profess his blind support for the group. He wondered if he said the right thing. He never heard back from them. He saw on instagram that they were having a bid night event without him.

If you saw my son's LinkedIn page, your overall impression would be that he is a decent human being. He's done volunteer projects and received most improved player for sports. He likes to have fun with friends and attend sports events. He drinks but I don't think he binges - has a cautious disposition.

The college has spring recruitment as well. One idea is to research the houses more through Instagram etc. What is the vibe? Do these guys take themselves too seriously? Are they slobs? Misfits? etc. Try again considering more options than just one house?

I also see service fraternities - may not be a fit - could be too pious or overly wholesome. A business fraternity looks like a possible good option - he's interested in business and it's open to all majors and genders and it's focused on personal and professional development and they also have outings and events.

He was drawn to the Greek system because it looked like fun. It would be an automatic group of people to hang out with some structured events.

Any other suggestions?

Wonder no more as it seems clear that your son did not say the right thing.

He probably said let me check with my mom first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity

x100000

Holy crap.

Agreed. Stay out of it. Just say things like "that sounds tough," and "i'm sure you'll figure it out."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, stay out of it, Mom. He doesn’t need or want your help on finding a fraternity

Actually, it kind of sounds like he tells her everything and asks for advice. OP - I have no advice. The Greek system is so stupid. I hope he can find his people elsewhere. Maybe he should volunteer at an animal shelter or something.

+1

Anything but the Greek system. He should look to his interests to guide him on groups to join, especially for a cautious kid.

[Anonymous]

Business frats binge drink and use a lot of coke. Service frat is the way to go. Or really, just ... not joining one at all.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of groups outside of the traditional fraternity/sorority system. I (female) went to college in the 90s and was in a service fraternity and a business school fraternity. Both were filled with people that I clicked with and am still friends with today.

[Anonymous]

Delta Tau Chi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delta Tau Chi

Pipe down Flounder!

[Anonymous]

Did he profess his blind support to the group or throw in some reasonable caveats? If the latter, I’d consider it a blessing he wasn’t tapped. If the former, he should do some introspection.

[Anonymous]

The house vibe will be different from campus to campus, so coming here and asking, without identifying the school, really doesn't do anything.