Can cheater change

[Anonymous]

So he cheated witching our first year of marriage. It continued until we divorced. Naturally as we separated he realized the family he destroyed and assures me thing will be different. We’ve been divorced a year. I shouldn’t consider this at all?

No meaningful relationships we the other women.

[Anonymous]

He cheated in the first year of marriage?!?!

No way. Let him figure himself for his next wife/victim.

[Anonymous]

Call me.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, no, don't take him back.

[Anonymous]

If he works on himself and you love him I’d give him another chance. People can change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he works on himself and you love him I’d give him another chance. People can change.

A guy who cheats before he's been married a year will need to change a LOT.

It's unlikely. Why bother?

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

[Anonymous]

Has he been in therapy to deal with his issues? If he has, may be I will believe that he has changed.

[Anonymous]

If my cheating ex got into extensive therapy I would let him date me again and would have a relationship if he was making my life better in other areas. I do love having our family together. Would probably routinely std test or use protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my cheating ex got into extensive therapy I would let him date me again and would have a relationship if he was making my life better in other areas. I do love having our family together. Would probably routinely std test or use protection.

Just want to add that we get along well in each others company and he still fully funds mine and kids lives so he’s not an overall bad person just insecure and broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my cheating ex got into extensive therapy I would let him date me again and would have a relationship if he was making my life better in other areas. I do love having our family together. Would probably routinely std test or use protection.

Just want to add that we get along well in each others company and he still fully funds mine and kids lives so he’s not an overall bad person just insecure and broken.

What’s he been doing while you’ve been apart? Serious therapy? What about therapy for you? And the two of you — couples therapy?

If you did take him back, can you ever imagine feeling safe, confident, and secure in the relationship? What if he’s late getting home one night? Or has to travel for work?

Full disclosure: I tried and failed at being able to live again with my cheating ex husband. I truly thought I could do it, but just never felt fully comfortable or confident again in the relationship. Betrayal is a very, very hard thing to get past. It’s tainted all relationships since.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So he cheated witching our first year of marriage. It continued until we divorced. Naturally as we separated he realized the family he destroyed and assures me thing will be different. We’ve been divorced a year. I shouldn’t consider this at all?

No meaningful relationships we the other women.

Did you witness abuse in your home as a child? Ask yourself what unhealthy dynamics you may be repeating for your children to witness?

[Anonymous]

Take it from a cheater, no.

[Anonymous]

It's possible, but it's a very small subset of cheaters that not only CAN and WANT to change, but that put in the hard work to change which takes years and years.

[Anonymous]

That’s much different than a guy that’s been monogamous for two decades and then has a midlife crisis before coming back to his senses.

OP- your ex was never monogamous.