11 year old boy tired at night but early school start

[Anonymous]

We are struggling with our 6th grader who has to be at school by 7:50 so needs to be up a bit before 7. She is just not sleepy until 10 or so but is exhausted in the morning. She has no screens after dinner, she is doing two sports, she often takes a long, warm bath before bed. What else can we do. We were shooting for lights out at 9 but have slowly moved it later because she’ll read or draw quietly in her room and will just lie there, unable to fall asleep if we have her turn out the lights earlier. What do we do?

[Anonymous]

This is OP the “boy” in the title was some strange auto correct. This is a girl (if it matters).

[Anonymous]

Wow, she has a full day of school plus afternoon sports and can't go to bed before 10? I totally believe you though. It sounds like you're doing everything right. Maybe she can read something more boring before bed, like a little extra studying? Try to start that a little earlier?

Sorry I don't have better ideas maybe others can chime in.

[Anonymous]

I have an 11yo 6th grader who gets up at 7 for school. She is in bed at 8/15 then reads or draws/writes in bed until 9 then lights out. She is usually asleep by 915/930.
Trying having her go to bed a bit earlier but read in bed for a while.

[Anonymous]

I assume she has started puberty? When kids hit puberty their body clock naturally shifts later. It makes it almost impossible for them to go to bed before a certain time. This is proven by tons of scientific studies (google it). OP, you are doing everything right. No advice, just wanted you to know there is nothing weird going on. Totally normal.

[Anonymous]

Our pediatrician approved a tiny (.25-.5mg) dose of melatonin to help shift their body clock. We use it for a few nights and can then go without it for awhile until things start to creep later again, then do it again for a couple of nights. It’s helpful in fighting that natural shift to a later internal clock.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume she has started puberty? When kids hit puberty their body clock naturally shifts later. It makes it almost impossible for them to go to bed before a certain time. This is proven by tons of scientific studies (google it). OP, you are doing everything right. No advice, just wanted you to know there is nothing weird going on. Totally normal.

I totally think this is it. Bedtime has never been a problem for her. I think we need to just let her read and be a bit tired. If we try to enforce the earlier lights out she gets anxious about not falling asleep and not getting enough sleep. If we let her read a bit longer, she falls asleep more easily. Stupid early start time!

[Anonymous]

Am sure the fact that it's still pretty dark out by the time she gets up is not helping.

[Anonymous]

You just have to have her in her room by a certain time and not enforce lights out. That's what I do with my kid this age with similar start time. Some nights he is up and doing stuff and some nights he goes to sleep. Our time is 9pm that he needs to be in his room doing something quietly.

[Anonymous]

Can you do some sort of white noise or music (think lullabies for grown-ups)? After the warm bath have her use lavender body lotion. All the extra little things to signal to your body cozy and tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You just have to have her in her room by a certain time and not enforce lights out. That's what I do with my kid this age with similar start time. Some nights he is up and doing stuff and some nights he goes to sleep. Our time is 9pm that he needs to be in his room doing something quietly.

This is so not a solution for every kid. Mine would draw/read in her room far past the point of exhaustion if we let her (and does exactly that if we don't stay on top of whether she's actually gone to sleep or just in her room/bed). And it's totally my fault, as I also would choose books over sleep if I gave myself the opportunity. It's taken a lifetime to learn to regulate this, as a very avid book lover.

[Anonymous]

My kids had the same issue and I found there was really nothing to be done. I did drive them some days vs riding the bus (buying an extra 20min sleep) but could not do so every day.

This is the problem with such early school start times…fortunately our high school starts much later so the middle school misery was fleeting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume she has started puberty? When kids hit puberty their body clock naturally shifts later. It makes it almost impossible for them to go to bed before a certain time. This is proven by tons of scientific studies (google it). OP, you are doing everything right. No advice, just wanted you to know there is nothing weird going on. Totally normal.

Yeah poor DS has been going through this (he is also starting puberty). BUT he is so upset he can't fall asleep before 1030 (previously an early to bed guy!). It sucks because he also has a full schedule of sports and other activities and still isnt' tired. He was formerly a morning person and is now SO GRUMPY.

[Anonymous]

Does anybody have a recommendation for an app or calming book on tape that can help an 11 year old fall asleep?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anybody have a recommendation for an app or calming book on tape that can help an 11 year old fall asleep?

There are sleep stories that come with the calm app which are good. We also just use any audio book she likes which is not too novel or exciting to her, but just interesting enough to keep her listening. Maybe try Harry Potter?