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$ from Parents or Inlaws
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Anonymous
| I am just wondering how much financial support you receive from the grandparents of your children. Do they contribute to your child's 529 plan? Help pay for birthday parties etc? I am curious because many of my friends receive a ton of financial support from the grandparents of their children... |
Anonymous
| Technically, none. I'm single, and my dad had always said that when I got married, he'd give me wedding money of $12K or whatever the limit was for giving without gift taxes. When I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant, I asked him for the money. I used half of it to cover baby-related medical bills and other stuff, and saved the rest for an emergency cushion. He also sometimes gives me a couple hundred dollars toward my Christmas flights home. That's it. He and my stepmom are generous with non-monetary gifts, though. I think my in-laws helped my ex put together a nursery and they might be contributing to our daughter's college fund, but I haven't asked. |
Anonymous
So far we haven't received cash support (DD is 5mo). But they have been very generous in constantly buying her clothes. They've also made a few big purchases like our jogging stroller, a wooden rocking horse, and things like that. Being a first grandchild has its perks for my DD! 
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Anonymous
| None, though our daughter's grandparents have been more than generous in terms of gifts and their time. They also volunteered to purchase some of the biggest ticket baby items, like the crib, car seat, and stroller - this wasn't something we expected them to do, but it was very nice that they did it. |
Anonymous
| They give our kids a check ($500) for their birthdays and at Christmas, which we put into their college funds. |
Anonymous
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My parents gave us $12k for each child's education fund when they were born. It was much appreciated since we can't afford to contribute right now.
They offer no other support (childcare, education, b-day parties, etc.) They do send $50 at birthdays/Christmas for the kids to go to the toy store and buy something. |
Anonymous
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Nothing in terms of direct financial support, but tons in terms of financial assistance for me, which indirectly benefits my kids, right? They paid for my expensive private college, and lent me money interest-free for grad school and buying our first home (the grad school loan has long since been repaid and we repay them $10k a year for the house money). I've never asked them to do any of this, but I'm extremely grateful.
Of course, they do gifts/clothes a lot, but my parents are not extravagant in this respect. What they are extravagant in is their time. They live 9 hours away but are retired and are able to drive up here whenever I travel cross-country for work to help my husband with the kids, or come up randomly to help me handle our newborn, etc. |
Anonymous
| None, sadly, which makes me both jealous and proud. |
Anonymous
| There's been no offer for me or my kids and I would take it only as a LAST resort. |
Anonymous
|
$0
Been on my own financially since my parents wrote that last tuition check. We'll be financially supporting the ILs in a just a few years. |
Anonymous
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None at all! And I agree, OP: we seem to be the only people we know who are in this position (and we work for non-profits and live in a not-so-fancy DC neighborhood) so it's nice to hear that there are others.
Many, many of our friends/neighbors had their parents make down payments on their houses, have their parents pay for their children's private school tuitions, go on extended family vacations paid for by the grandparents, spend weekends and vacations at beach houses owned by the grandparents, and have enormous college funds created by the grandparents. All of this is quite amazing to me! We are from families of very modest means. |
Anonymous
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None at all.
I am always struck by people whose parents take the family on vacation, take the kids to Europe, babysit, etc. None of that here. And when the ILs want to see us, they say "we haven't seen you in a long time!" which is code for, "invite us for a meal." The kicker: MIL helps herself to leftovers to take home. Bah humbug. |
Anonymous
Zero. Wish I did but it's their money. We don't expect it but is would be nice. Oh well. |
Anonymous
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This is the OP. Both sets of parents have more than enough to help out occasionally, especially when they know we are struggling but I am glad I do not feel any obligation for taking their assistance.
There was a post on the travel board about surviving vacation with the in laws. There is no way that I would put myself in that position. If you go on vacation paid by them you are under their rules! |
Anonymous
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The ILs bought us a new car (21K for a hyundai, nothing fancy), mostly because MIL really wants us to have a baby and thought having a safer car would do the trick.
They gave us 1K when we bought a house. Put up 3K for the rehearsal dinner at our wedding. When we have a baby, they'll probably give around 5K for college money. I come from very modest means, so it's strange for me, but whatever. They are truly kindhearted people who have worked very hard and want to share as they can. Plus, SIL rakes it in from MIL for having 2 very cute daugthers, so we mightt as well take our share. Just kidding. |