Is this a unicorn? I'm looking for a companion for my mom, but not a set schedule.

[Anonymous]

My mom lives with us, and I mostly am home with her to take her to appointments and such. She doesn't need help with bathing or dressing, but she can't drive. All of the agencies I've tried want a set schedule like m-f for 4 hours a day. I basically have the days covered, but we are often away evenings from 5-9 or all day on weekend days for sporting events that she sometimes doesn't want to attend because of weather or whatever. The agencies say they have people for weekends, but in reality it's very hard to find. Has anyone dealt with this? How did you find someone to help?

[Anonymous]

I see two different issues. You want an off-hours schedule and also you don’t want to commit to set hours? Of course it’s harder to find both intermittent care AND harder to find off-hours care but is that really your situation? You want both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see two different issues. You want an off-hours schedule and also you don’t want to commit to set hours? Of course it’s harder to find both intermittent care AND harder to find off-hours care but is that really your situation? You want both?

Yes, because my schedule is not the same every day. So, do I just hire someone for every Saturday and pay them wether I need them or not?

[Anonymous]

I'm sure you can understand why it is hard to find intermittent care, and why an agency would not be able to commit to this. I think your best bet is to find a few people through word of mouth or care.com who can come on short notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see two different issues. You want an off-hours schedule and also you don’t want to commit to set hours? Of course it’s harder to find both intermittent care AND harder to find off-hours care but is that really your situation? You want both?

Yes, because my schedule is not the same every day. So, do I just hire someone for every Saturday and pay them wether I need them or not?

I think it’s probably cheaper than someone who is fully on call. Think about how much more money you would need to get paid to have completely random non-guaranteed hours. And especially if those hours were at the least convenient times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure you can understand why it is hard to find intermittent care, and why an agency would not be able to commit to this. I think your best bet is to find a few people through word of mouth or care.com who can come on short notice.

+1 on care.com

[Anonymous]

Does she really need someone with her all the time? That seems excessive.

[Anonymous]

Is the situation that your mom can’t be left alone at all?

[Anonymous]

It sounds more like a sitting gig, maybe advertise at the local high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she really need someone with her all the time? That seems excessive.

No, she doesn't. That's the problem, but next Wednesday we have a game from 6-10pm, but the Wednesday after that we have one only until 8 when she would be fine to be alone. The next Wednesday we have nothing. It's never the same.

Of course I understand why it's hard to find someone, and I realize that it may have to be more than 1 person. I apologize if I was not clear. I'm looking for I guess someone who is looking to pick up extra hours, not a full time job. Are there other options besides care.com? Have people had luck with that? I used it for babysitters years ago and it was ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds more like a sitting gig, maybe advertise at the local high school?

This is exactly what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is the situation that your mom can’t be left alone at all?

She can be left alone, but I prefer not at times when it's dinner. I'd like someone to take her to dinner vs. her sitting and eating alone or on a weekend when we are gone most of the day. More of companionship and take her out so she's not sitting around bored and watching tv all day.

[Anonymous]

What do you need the person to do if your mom can dress and bath on her own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is the situation that your mom can’t be left alone at all?

She can be left alone, but I prefer not at times when it's dinner. I'd like someone to take her to dinner vs. her sitting and eating alone or on a weekend when we are gone most of the day. More of companionship and take her out so she's not sitting around bored and watching tv all day.

That seems really unnecessary. Let her watch TV and eat alone.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to find someone who is more of a housekeeper and schedule them for a regular schedule.

Does your mom even want company? My dad would never accept that he needs companionship or someone to make sure he eats instead of napping in front of the TV all day. However, he would probably enjoy it if I had a person who came over for 4 hours each Wed evening and Saturday morning to do laundry, change the sheets, minor food prep like cleaning and chopping fruit and veg for snacks, tidy up, etc. AND if that person at my suggestion would occasionally say “let’s go to lunch while I wait for the laundry to finish?” Or “I need to pick up some things for the house at CVS, why don’t you come with me?”.