Is ‘girlfriend’ offensive?

[Anonymous]

I’m getting serious with a woman who has made it explicitly clear that it’s offensive to all women when someone says, for example, “I’m dating a girl and…” So my question is, how should I refer to her to others? I’m assuming “this is my girlfriend, Jane” is out?

[Anonymous]

What is she finding offensive? The concept of dating? Calling someone a girl?

[Anonymous]

Why don't you ask what title she'd prefer?

[Anonymous]

dating a girl seems more of a problem than girlfriend. She's presumably a woman, not a girl. I think girlfriend is ok for women but wouldn't directly call a woman a girl. that said, She might prefer to avoid "girl" altogether, with something like "partner," but that is usually reserved for a more long-term, committed companion. S.O.? Lover? I don't think we have a better term than girlfriend, tbh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you ask what title she'd prefer?

Label or honorific. It’s not really a “title.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting serious with a woman who has made it explicitly clear that it’s offensive to all women when someone says, for example, “I’m dating a girl and…” So my question is, how should I refer to her to others? I’m assuming “this is my girlfriend, Jane” is out?

This is Jane, my girlfriend. Name first. The other way around makes her sound like your property or like she is an extension of you.

And don’t say you are dating a girl unless you want to be viewed as a pervert

[Anonymous]

Ideally, you're NOT dating a girl. Hopefully you're dating a woman.

[Anonymous]

Can’t you say my partner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you ask what title she'd prefer?

This is the only correct answer.

I agree "girlfriend" sounds ridiculous after high school. But "partner" implies a level of commitment that may not apply here.

So, maybe just "This is Jane Smith." The rest is probably implied.

[Anonymous]

Whatever you do, don’t offend her.

[Anonymous]

Gracious goodness, she sounds like a pill. I would look elsewhere, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t you say my partner?

No way. That conveys even less information than girlfriend and makes him sound like a homosexual.

[Anonymous]

I think she means that referring to her as a girl is offensive, but that does not mean the word “girlfriend” is offensive. You should say you are dating a woman not a girl. She probably doesn’t have a problem with the word girlfriend. It’s different than saying you’re dating a girl.

[Anonymous]

Lady friend.

[Anonymous]

Special lady friend