Girlfriends who married last landed successful but unattractive men. Do these marriages last?

[Anonymous]

Does anyone else have this going on in their friend group? Not a shallow trophy wife situation but two my successful and pretty girlfriends who married last amongst our friend group married men they seemed to settle for. On paper the men are successful but appearance and personality wise, it never seemed like a true match or their type. When we're all together you don't sense genuine passion for their spouse. Before marriage, one of them complained about their sex life, but after he proposed, she never brought it up again. The other complained her then fiancé was such a dork, as in wimpy and boring, not in a cute endearing way. As married DINKs, they honestly seem to enjoy their house, luxury SUV, and status more than their husband. Knock on wood I don't yet have any divorces in this friend group but I wonder if it is this predictable that these two will likely be the so-called starter marriages that fail?

[Anonymous]

You’re a good friend to view them as successful and pretty.

[Anonymous]

Not sure why my post was deleted but my point stands.

[Anonymous]

Myob

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Myob

That is essentially what I said, and the post was deleted.

[Anonymous]

Women have been marrying unattractive high status men since forever. That said, women do outnumber men in advanced degree graduation rates and the dating pool after 30 is challenging to put it mildly.

[Anonymous]

When I was 26, a friend married a guy I thought was SO ugly. When I was 32 or 33 I suddenly saw him in a different light and could see why she thought he was attractive. It was a maturity thing.

[Anonymous]

It's plausible that people who marry late either have to settle for less than ideal, or have no idea how to pick a good mate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was 26, a friend married a guy I thought was SO ugly. When I was 32 or 33 I suddenly saw him in a different light and could see why she thought he was attractive. It was a maturity thing.

+1

Beauty is also fleeting. Do you plan to divorce, OP, when your DH starts to sag and bald?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's plausible that people who marry late either have to settle for less than ideal, or have no idea how to pick a good mate.

Or maybe they learn that looks are only skin deep, and are mature enough to choose a life partner for better reasons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else have this going on in their friend group? Not a shallow trophy wife situation but two my successful and pretty girlfriends who married last amongst our friend group married men they seemed to settle for. On paper the men are successful but appearance and personality wise, it never seemed like a true match or their type. When we're all together you don't sense genuine passion for their spouse. Before marriage, one of them complained about their sex life, but after he proposed, she never brought it up again. The other complained her then fiancé was such a dork, as in wimpy and boring, not in a cute endearing way. As married DINKs, they honestly seem to enjoy their house, luxury SUV, and status more than their husband. Knock on wood I don't yet have any divorces in this friend group but I wonder if it is this predictable that these two will likely be the so-called starter marriages that fail?

The person I know like this didn't really want to be married -- other than for status and financial purposes. So she found a multimillionaire guy who is also low maintenance and not that attractive. It's working out really well for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's plausible that people who marry late either have to settle for less than ideal, or have no idea how to pick a good mate.

Disagree. Actually the people I know who married the latest seem to have found the best match for them.

[Anonymous]

I find that people who marry (or find a long-term partner) later in life are generally not outwardly enthusiastic like their younger counterparts were.

This is because they're more mature and they understand that affection and loyalty don't need to be gushed about in public. They see the faults of their spouses or partners clearly. They're not blinded by romantic love.

So for me, this is no cause for alarm, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's plausible that people who marry late either have to settle for less than ideal, or have no idea how to pick a good mate.

Or maybe they learn that looks are only skin deep, and are mature enough to choose a life partner for better reasons?

Definitely my case. I was with a rock climbing catalogue model (literally) for 7.5 years before meeting DH who is not a model visually but is an amazing human, the best dad, and a much better mate for me.

[Anonymous]

Why so shallow, OP?