trans in Texas schools

[Anonymous]

We have family visiting this week from Tx who relayed this story about a family friend who is a trans male high school student. The school district is supportive and helpful. But one teacher refuses to call him by his chosen name. Not an out-there nickname, a traditional name that happens to be gender-neutral. Mind you, he calls other kids by preferred nicknames.

But for this child he uses his birth name. Every day while taking attendance. This boy refuses to answer to this name, and so every day in addition to being publicly shamed in front of his classmates, he is marked absent, in a class where he is visibly present and otherwise participating. This has continued to the point where he is officially a truant in the system. The teacher refuses to mark him present unless he responds to his birth name, and he says he can't be compelled to use his chosen name.

I'm sure this will get resolved somehow, and we are hoping it doesn't draw attention to the family because the governor has stated he will go after parents of trans kids for child abuse.

But surely anyone can see this is not about parental rights. This is not about freedom or religious liberty. This is about being too mean spirited to use a gender-neutral nickname. Breaks my heart.

[Anonymous]

If that were my kid, I would sue the school. The right claims they are all about parental rights and as a parent, I would demand that they call him by his right name. Parental rights, my a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If that were my kid, I would sue the school. The right claims they are all about parental rights and as a parent, I would demand that they call him by his right name. Parental rights, my a$$.

Not everyone has the resources or bravery to do this. His mother is not in a position to defend a child abuse charge if the state decided to retaliate. See below:

https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/texas-attempt-to-tear-parents-and-trans-youth-apart-one-year-later

[Anonymous]

This is why some families with trans kids have moved out of TX.

https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/trans-families-leaving-texas/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If that were my kid, I would sue the school. The right claims they are all about parental rights and as a parent, I would demand that they call him by his right name. Parental rights, my a$$.

Not everyone has the resources or bravery to do this. His mother is not in a position to defend a child abuse charge if the state decided to retaliate. See below:

https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/texas-attempt-to-tear-parents-and-trans-youth-apart-one-year-later

Oh, wow. I had forgotten that part. Indeed the parents are in a tough spot. That’s awful. Abbott probably hopes families like this will just move away so that Texas stays red.

[Anonymous]

It's Texas. How is this surprising?

[Anonymous]

I hate this anti-trans people - they are such a-holes

[Anonymous]

If I was a teen in that class, I’d organize everyone to (1) not respond to roll call and (2) call the teacher by his first name. No more “Mr. Wilson”….he will be addressed as “Dan.”

I was soooooo that kid in HS. A little bit of innocent mischief to prove a point. One has to earn respect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was a teen in that class, I’d organize everyone to (1) not respond to roll call and (2) call the teacher by his first name. No more “Mr. Wilson”….he will be addressed as “Dan.”

I was soooooo that kid in HS. A little bit of innocent mischief to prove a point. One has to earn respect.

this is actually not a bad idea

[Anonymous]

The kid should request be be addressed by their last name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was a teen in that class, I’d organize everyone to (1) not respond to roll call and (2) call the teacher by his first name. No more “Mr. Wilson”….he will be addressed as “Dan.”

I was soooooo that kid in HS. A little bit of innocent mischief to prove a point. One has to earn respect.

this is actually not a bad idea

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I was a teen in that class, I’d organize everyone to (1) not respond to roll call and (2) call the teacher by his first name. No more “Mr. Wilson”….he will be addressed as “Dan.”

I was soooooo that kid in HS. A little bit of innocent mischief to prove a point. One has to earn respect.

It really depends on what part of Texas this is at. No way student athletes are doing that if there is a chance they can be suspended from the football team.

Obviously kids should be called the name they order but sometimes in life you need to pick and choose your battles. I have a very ethnic official first name that I never use. All my teachers in high school used my preferred nickname but one insisted on butchering my legal first name. I cringed every time I was called on and respectfully asked the teacher not to say it to no avail. It wasn’t worth the fight. So getting marked truant because you won’t say present is just a losing battle in some Texas classrooms. The study could say -“present but I prefer you address me as ———“ every single time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I was a teen in that class, I’d organize everyone to (1) not respond to roll call and (2) call the teacher by his first name. No more “Mr. Wilson”….he will be addressed as “Dan.”

I was soooooo that kid in HS. A little bit of innocent mischief to prove a point. One has to earn respect.

It really depends on what part of Texas this is at. No way student athletes are doing that if there is a chance they can be suspended from the football team.

Obviously kids should be called the name they order but sometimes in life you need to pick and choose your battles. I have a very ethnic official first name that I never use. All my teachers in high school used my preferred nickname but one insisted on butchering my legal first name. I cringed every time I was called on and respectfully asked the teacher not to say it to no avail. It wasn’t worth the fight. So getting marked truant because you won’t say present is just a losing battle in some Texas classrooms. The study could say -“present but I prefer you address me as ———“ every single time.

I understand why the kid and his family are fighting this battle. The teacher is a bully. The student would rather fail the class on his feet than pass it on his knees.

[Anonymous]

NP. This is appalling and wrong. And look, I think that medicalized transition of children is one of the biggest medical scandals of our generation. I think in fifty years, what we did medically to kids in the name of gender affirmative care is going to be looked at with horror.

But if you don’t want medicalized gender affirmative care for kids, then you absolutely need to support forms of social transition to be reasonable. Kids need an outlet, have always needed an outlet. Stuff like this, what this jerk of a teacher is doing, is driving kids to seek out medicalization. People who are bullied are easily radicalized.

What a jerk. I’m sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

It seems petty, but without any context about why the teacher refuses to use the new name, we are left to speculate. Even in the most extreme scenario, that the teacher is doing to register disapproval of the trans identified kid, it's not clear that the teacher is doing anything wrong by using the legal name on the roster.

More likely... the teacher just doesn't give a crap about a teenager feeling like the other gender, or being some alternate status of non-gender. Most likely, the teacher has over 100 students per day, and the school year just started, and he doesn't remember that Larlo wants to be called Casey. He's probably just reading off a roster. And the other nicknames are probably easy to remember because they somehow relate to the actual name. I'm not a huge apologist for teachers. But this seems like a case of your friends picking a fight with someone who is working their ass off and doesn't have time to validate the choices of Little Lord Fontleroy, who is apparently picking apart every interaction and making a capital case.