Keeping a “secret” from the Father
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My 15 year old got the HPV vaccine, my x husband and the father of my DD, doesn’t believe she needs the vaccine because he read something on Facebook, and doesn’t think she will have sexual relationships with someone before she gets married..:. I told her not to tell that she got that vaccine, is wrong to keep something from him? I have custody of the child. |
Anonymous
| No it’s not wrong to protect your child from the wrath of her abusive controlling father |
Anonymous
| I mean, in general I would not tell your kid to keep something from a parent. But if the other parent is a crazy anti-vaxxer then I would say it's justified in this case. Why create a problem? It probably wouldn't come up regardless. |
Anonymous
| You have custody. You made a decision with your child and her pediatrician. End of story. *If* *she* wants to tell him, she may do so. But you owe him zero information, as you have custody. |
Anonymous
| Any time someone gets their information from Facebook they lose the right to have an opinion. |
Anonymous
This, don't engage with stupidity. |
Anonymous
| It’s fine. People used to keep secrets all the time. Sometimes it’s valuable to do so. |
Anonymous
|
I’m in favor of the HPV vaccine (my daughter got it) but I don’t agree with your approach here. How would you like it if her father made a medical decision about her without telling you? Is there no way to have a rational decision with him on this? Or have her advocate for herself with him? Telling him that her doctor recommended it and she wants it.
FWIW - I think her father’s attitude towards sex is ridiculous. Even if she waits until she meets her spouse…no guarantee the spouse will have waited and she could still be at risk without the vaccine!!! |
Anonymous
|
Hoping Dad has a secret that he is removing all financial college assistance to daughter at last minute.
|
Anonymous
| Why are you talking to this person at all? She's not his daughter anymore. |
Anonymous
She'll get a full ride with a compelling essay about breaking free from a anti-vax, controlling father and taking her future and her body autonomy into her own hands. |
Anonymous
Good one! 
|
Anonymous
|
I don't think there's any compelling need to tell him, but also don't think there's any compelling need to keep it a secret, unless he's abusive in some way, in which case you have bigger problems that go beyond this one issue.
You have legal custody, which includes making medical decisions. You chose to have her receive the medically recommended vaccines. End of story. |
Anonymous
Hoping the custody agreement spells this out so he can't. Many of them do. |
Anonymous
Love it when parents think like you. The moment they disagree with something, pull that college fund. That will show them. Set them up for a life of hardship over a harmless vaccine, or a tattoo, or a boyfriend. Good lord. |