What’s it like being married?

[Anonymous]

People always say that marriage takes work. OUTSIDE OF KIDS, because I don’t plan on having kids and his children are grown, what is the work? What does it look like? And what are the good and challenging parts of marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People always say that marriage takes work. OUTSIDE OF KIDS, because I don’t plan on having kids and his children are grown, what is the work? What does it look like? And what are the good and challenging parts of marriage?

Here's your challenge and work.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think kids, work, finances, household tasks and sex are the major issues. If you pull kids out of the equation it will be a little easier.

[Anonymous]

The challenge is making the decision to stick with them even when you’re annoyed or just bored with them over and over again- no different for any long-term relationship, married or not.

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been together 20 years and married for 6. For us, the "work" part of marriage is just weathering the storms together. Probably the most work has been dealing with an awful couple of years of depression on my part -- it took its toll on the relationship. I wasn't a good partner because I couldn't be, and he got exhausted pretty quickly trying to fix something he couldn't fix. You also need to be able to compromise, and to give each other space to grow. That all takes work.

Other than that, though, it's been pretty easy tbh. We are crazy about each other and have always treated each other well. Given how long we had been together before we married, and the fact that we had already lived together for years and owned a home together and had a dog together, I pretty much knew what I was getting into with marriage and that it was a good thing.

[Anonymous]

What’s it like? Move in with the guy and find out.

[Anonymous]

Within a year of getting married you’ll be tired of having sex. Lack of sex will make it seem like the only thing thats important to him because its the only thing hes missing. It will cause tons of fights.

[Anonymous]

It's constant negotiation. Constant compromise.

If you don't go in thinking "this is forever" it becomes a constant question "Is this the final straw? What about this?"

If you've never been in a real, long term relationship that you had decided was "forever" then don't get married. Move in together, as PP suggested. You'll find out soon enough if there's enough there there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People always say that marriage takes work. OUTSIDE OF KIDS, because I don’t plan on having kids and his children are grown, what is the work? What does it look like? And what are the good and challenging parts of marriage?

Have you never been in a LTR? Have you never lived with a SO? Or taken a long trip with a SO? Dated them during a challenging time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Within a year of getting married you’ll be tired of having sex. Lack of sex will make it seem like the only thing thats important to him because its the only thing hes missing. It will cause tons of fights.

This. DW stopped wanting to have sex. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Don’t get married, kids would be the only reason to do so.
Live together, be committed, be there for each other but if it becomes too much work you’re free to move on; but don’t discount never feeling new relationship energy ever again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Within a year of getting married you’ll be tired of having sex. Lack of sex will make it seem like the only thing thats important to him because its the only thing hes missing. It will cause tons of fights.

This. DW stopped wanting to have sex. It sucks. [/quot

This is often fixable, but hard. It takes indirect negotiation to make her feel appreciated and comfort and want to do it for your sake when she doesn't need it for herself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Within a year of getting married you’ll be tired of having sex. Lack of sex will make it seem like the only thing thats important to him because its the only thing hes missing. It will cause tons of fights.

This. DW stopped wanting to have sex. It sucks. [/quot

This is often fixable, but hard. It takes indirect negotiation to make her feel appreciated and comfort and want to do it for your sake when she doesn't need it for herself.

It sometimes requires a man to get better at sex. once the novelty wears off, if he has no skills, women can lose interest fast. Not saying that’s the case here. And I assume the roles can be reversed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Within a year of getting married you’ll be tired of having sex. Lack of sex will make it seem like the only thing thats important to him because its the only thing hes missing. It will cause tons of fights.

This. DW stopped wanting to have sex. It sucks.

My DH stopped wanting to have sex within a couple of years. Yes, it sucks. Not the end of the world if everything else is great, but yeah, not ideal. And very, very common.

[Anonymous]

Marriage without children and marriage with children are two totally different things. Marriage without children is like a leased car. Marriage with children is like having to live in your car for the rest of your life, then be buried in it.