Junior with autism and adhd anxiety and depression shutting down after coming out

[Anonymous]

I have a junior with autism, adhd, anxiety and depression and ever since coming out he's been barely responsive. I'm sure he's gay or at least bi. No one has said anything mean to him at school or the family. It's more like he can't process all of this newness and how to behave and interact anymore. He hasn't hung out with anyone in six months and used to be very social. Every so often he will act like an exhibitionist doing gay like things but in public but then not at home. He seems to be regressing in terms of thinking, and socializing, and behaving. Does anyone have experience with this and how to help him? I feel like I'm watching him burn out for all of his confusion.

[Anonymous]

Talk to his therapist.

[Anonymous]

He has a therapist, and they aren't that helpful. He's been seeing one all year and no progress. Things have been getting worse in fact and we added more time with the therapist this summer even.

[Anonymous]

I also think he doesn't want to bring it up with the therapist, so it doesn't get discussed and worked out. I was hoping after several months this would be discussed but he doesn't want to and she won't push it plus I don't think she is qualified in this area.

[Anonymous]

Your post isn't clear. Did he come out or are you assuming?

[Anonymous]

Yes he came out and had a boyfriend for a month who broke up with him. I think the boyfriend wasn't autistic and didn't understand the communication issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has a therapist, and they aren't that helpful. He's been seeing one all year and no progress. Things have been getting worse in fact and we added more time with the therapist this summer even.

Needs a different therapist if no progress after a YEAR!

[Anonymous]

Agree. And we've tried two. I think they both just let him talk about what he wants to and don't discuss the elephant in the room. Has anyone gone through this and has steps to help make this transition successful for him? Therapists to recommend? Things to do at home? A lot of therapists don't know how to deal well with autistic kids much less gay autistic kids.

[Anonymous]

Regressing how?

Was he a flamboyant gay child?


Teenage years are terrible for everyone, especially for queer folk, and especially for autistic folk.

[Anonymous]

No. He was a typical adhd child with anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Regressing in school. Regressing in socialization. Regressing in doing things around the house. Shutting down.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like depression (or rather worsening depression) , some teens take first breakups very hard. Can you see about adjusting meds? I would also tell his therapist what his concerns are, and maybe switch if you can find a new one. See if you can get him out of the house for walks with you--exercise and being outside are some of the best non medicine treatments for mood disorders. And try to get him to an LGBTQ teen support group, he's trying to figure out what it means to be gay and his self-presentation.

I would email Dr. Dan Shapiro (Parent Child Journey) to see if he knows of any Lgbtq teen support groups that are supportive of neurodivergent kids.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a depression thing and less like a gay thing although he may be gay. Is he medicated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a depression thing and less like a gay thing although he may be gay. Is he medicated?

yes, he is medicated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like depression (or rather worsening depression) , some teens take first breakups very hard. Can you see about adjusting meds? I would also tell his therapist what his concerns are, and maybe switch if you can find a new one. See if you can get him out of the house for walks with you--exercise and being outside are some of the best non medicine treatments for mood disorders. And try to get him to an LGBTQ teen support group, he's trying to figure out what it means to be gay and his self-presentation.

I would email Dr. Dan Shapiro (Parent Child Journey) to see if he knows of any Lgbtq teen support groups that are supportive of neurodivergent kids.

Thank you.