For the ladies: how to make most of 30s?

[Anonymous]

Mid thirties woman here and life is flying past!!

I am married. TTC currently via IVF.

What advice do you have for what I can do every day to make each day count!

[Anonymous]

Don't despair, just keep moving forwards.

[Anonymous]

I would:

-wear heels and unsupportive flat sandals a ton before my plantar fasciitis ruined my (fashion) life

-run my hands through my very thick hair before it turned sad and thin

-get rid of all the stuff that was handed down to me when I first got an apartment and slowly get things that I actually like rather than saving perfectly good but hideous things out of a sense of obligation

-maybe get braces

-eat at restaurants a lot more

-go on weekend friend trips before everyone has kids and can’t do anything together

-travel solo- I wish I had done more while I could!

[Anonymous]

I was going to say have a lot of sex with random hot men but then saw you were married and ttc... 😂

[Anonymous]

Travel travel travel before your have your first baby. As a matter of fact, that may help you conceive! Relax and have fun! I’m in my mid-50’s, you have so much life to live! Have an annual girls trip too, enjoy your life girlfriend, you are young!! Don’t stop working- keep your career if at all possible. Prioritize experiences over material things, spend time with cherished family and friends, buy real estate and start a Vanguard 529 plan when your baby turns 1, contribute regularly, set & forget it.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy your body, skin, and hair. You probably look the best you will ever look. In a flash you'll be over 50 and those days will be gone. Your value won't be gone, but you'll miss the physical perfection that you might currently think is imperfect but is not.

If the TTC effort doesn't work out, you can still have a full life even if it's different than the one you imagine.

[Anonymous]

Take really excellent care of your body even when baby comes. I neglected myself for so long but once my kids got older and I really started taking care of my skin, hair, and diet/exercise, I really regretted not making that effort sooner.

[Anonymous]

I agree with enjoy body, skin an hair. I think I was most attractive in my 30's.

As far as advice:

-see a financial planner;
-find exercise you like - not just for weight/appearance, but when you hit 50 your body will thank you;
-your marriage is important, but don't miss the opportunity to foster female friendships;
-if you are somewhat vain (I am) look at things like tretinoin and botox as you move into your later 30's/are done with your pregnancies.

[Anonymous]

I would tell you not to have kids. I have no recollection of my thirties as I was in the fog of babies ans toddlers!
But yeah, agree with the above. Also, lose baby weight soon before you hit your forties or it’s never going away.

[Anonymous]

Quit your job
Work out daily
Sleep more
Quit alcohol
Hydrate

[Anonymous]

I would actually advise to not put the pressure on yourself to make every day count.

I feel like carpe diem is fine in theory - and also is a LOT of pressure, and also you'd make different decisions if today were your last day, than if today is another day in a life you're building for yourself, that you hope will be long. Think of how you eat on vacation v how you eat in regular life.

My advice would be to build yourself the life you want to be living, as much as you can. Find out what you like and do those things. Save some for retirement, and spend on things that give you pleasure and make your life easier. Do you like your job? If not, does that matter to you - and if it does, can you spend some time now, figuring out what you would like better and trying to do that instead?

Don't "invest" in too many expensive clothes that may not fit if you put on some weight in your 40s. (!!) But wear all the beautiful things you own now in your regular life. Don't save those shoes or that dress - they are meant for using.

The PP's advice to find exercise you like, and do it, is good. I'm grateful - knock wood - every single day that I love walking, and walk and walk and walk, and have been doing it for decades - and am not having to start from scratch at 50.

In that vein: wear shoes that will make your feet and back happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would actually advise to not put the pressure on yourself to make every day count.

I feel like carpe diem is fine in theory - and also is a LOT of pressure, and also you'd make different decisions if today were your last day, than if today is another day in a life you're building for yourself, that you hope will be long. Think of how you eat on vacation v how you eat in regular life.

My advice would be to build yourself the life you want to be living, as much as you can. Find out what you like and do those things. Save some for retirement, and spend on things that give you pleasure and make your life easier. Do you like your job? If not, does that matter to you - and if it does, can you spend some time now, figuring out what you would like better and trying to do that instead?

Don't "invest" in too many expensive clothes that may not fit if you put on some weight in your 40s. (!!) But wear all the beautiful things you own now in your regular life. Don't save those shoes or that dress - they are meant for using.

The PP's advice to find exercise you like, and do it, is good. I'm grateful - knock wood - every single day that I love walking, and walk and walk and walk, and have been doing it for decades - and am not having to start from scratch at 50.

In that vein: wear shoes that will make your feet and back happy.

^ But I'd also add: try to let go of the natural anxiety you're probably feeling about 40 being around the bend. My 40s were better than my 30s, which were better than my 20s. I've just turned 50 - my lord! - and I feel guardedly optimistic about this decade, too. Knock wood, you've got a lot of decades left to enjoy yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Quit your job
Work out daily
Sleep more
Quit alcohol
Hydrate

that's not the best advice

[Anonymous]

This is such a refreshingly positive and helpful thread! I'm also in my 30s and I'm learning so much from all your advice.

[Anonymous]

Sunblock every day
Wear a bikini
Volunteer, join things, meet people
Get promoted or get a new job
Get your house in order