16 yo son in room all day? Normal?

[Anonymous]

I only have 1 child, a 16 yo son. He rarely comes from his room other than to eat and say good morning. I would like him to spend some time out of his room other than eating meals. Is this normal? How do you engage a son at this age?

He does volunteer work that he enjoys about 12 hours a week; plays soccer twice a week; has an online tutor; is attending hour long sessions on how to prepare for college (which I signed him up for) so he's not inside and playing games and mindless youtube videos all day. He does not see any friends live, but texts and snapchats them daily too. We watch a show together a few nights a week, at my suggestion.

Will someone please reality check me? What is reasonable?
Do you have expectations that your teen not be in room all day?
If so, what do you expect? How do you engage?

TIA.

[Anonymous]

I have an almost 16 year old daughter and that doesn’t sound too concerning to me. Sounds like he has plenty going on. Personally, I would love to see my DD interacting more with friends in person, but it’s up to her to make that happen. (And it rarely does.) But it’s summertime. It’s ok to back off and let them do nothing for a while.

[Anonymous]

That's what my teen does some weekends but in the summer, he works 40+ hrs a week. I wouldn't let him lay around like that all summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have 1 child, a 16 yo son. He rarely comes from his room other than to eat and say good morning. I would like him to spend some time out of his room other than eating meals. Is this normal? How do you engage a son at this age?

He does volunteer work that he enjoys about 12 hours a week; plays soccer twice a week; has an online tutor; is attending hour long sessions on how to prepare for college (which I signed him up for) so he's not inside and playing games and mindless youtube videos all day. He does not see any friends live, but texts and snapchats them daily too. We watch a show together a few nights a week, at my suggestion.

Will someone please reality check me? What is reasonable?
Do you have expectations that your teen not be in room all day?
If so, what do you expect? How do you engage?

TIA.

OP, your son who is "in his room all day":
-volunteers 12 hrs/week
-plays soccer twice a week
-has an online tutor
-attends hour-long college prep classes
-watches a show with you multiple times a week

(Sincerely) what would you like him to do?

[Anonymous]

Yes. You have to force them to come out.

[Anonymous]

It would be good to see people min person too. Maybe do some grocery shopping

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have 1 child, a 16 yo son. He rarely comes from his room other than to eat and say good morning. I would like him to spend some time out of his room other than eating meals. Is this normal? How do you engage a son at this age?

He does volunteer work that he enjoys about 12 hours a week; plays soccer twice a week; has an online tutor; is attending hour long sessions on how to prepare for college (which I signed him up for) so he's not inside and playing games and mindless youtube videos all day. He does not see any friends live, but texts and snapchats them daily too. We watch a show together a few nights a week, at my suggestion.

Will someone please reality check me? What is reasonable?
Do you have expectations that your teen not be in room all day?
If so, what do you expect? How do you engage?

TIA.

OP, your son who is "in his room all day":
-volunteers 12 hrs/week
-plays soccer twice a week
-has an online tutor
-attends hour-long college prep classes
-watches a show with you multiple times a week

(Sincerely) what would you like him to do?

+1 yeah OP this is good for a 16 YO. Not sure what more you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have 1 child, a 16 yo son. He rarely comes from his room other than to eat and say good morning. I would like him to spend some time out of his room other than eating meals. Is this normal? How do you engage a son at this age?

He does volunteer work that he enjoys about 12 hours a week; plays soccer twice a week; has an online tutor; is attending hour long sessions on how to prepare for college (which I signed him up for) so he's not inside and playing games and mindless youtube videos all day. He does not see any friends live, but texts and snapchats them daily too. We watch a show together a few nights a week, at my suggestion.

Will someone please reality check me? What is reasonable?
Do you have expectations that your teen not be in room all day?
If so, what do you expect? How do you engage?

TIA.

OP, your son who is "in his room all day":
-volunteers 12 hrs/week
-plays soccer twice a week
-has an online tutor
-attends hour-long college prep classes
-watches a show with you multiple times a week

(Sincerely) what would you like him to do?

+1 yeah OP this is good for a 16 YO. Not sure what more you are looking for.

OP again—

I’m pleased with son. Would like him to spend time in the living room some and be more engaged.

[Anonymous]

He will come back out around 17 or 18. Their brains are developing in a way that requires downtime/aloneness. Or maybe you could ask him to come out but promise him you won't ask questions or nag him to do stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He will come back out around 17 or 18. Their brains are developing in a way that requires downtime/aloneness. Or maybe you could ask him to come out but promise him you won't ask questions or nag him to do stuff.

OP: Well that's a challenge. Not nagging. LOL not LOL.

[Anonymous]

I got my teen son to play basketball with me a few times a week so we could spend time together. Also request (demand) they come help make dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's what my teen does some weekends but in the summer, he works 40+ hrs a week. I wouldn't let him lay around like that all summer.

OP: I hope that my son does not need to work 40 hrs a week til he's done with college and out in the work world.

In addition to his volunteer work: son works for me a few hours a week; he loves his volunteer work which he is learning a lot from while also serving others. Something he wanted to do and made it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have 1 child, a 16 yo son. He rarely comes from his room other than to eat and say good morning. I would like him to spend some time out of his room other than eating meals. Is this normal? How do you engage a son at this age?

He does volunteer work that he enjoys about 12 hours a week; plays soccer twice a week; has an online tutor; is attending hour long sessions on how to prepare for college (which I signed him up for) so he's not inside and playing games and mindless youtube videos all day. He does not see any friends live, but texts and snapchats them daily too. We watch a show together a few nights a week, at my suggestion.

Will someone please reality check me? What is reasonable?
Do you have expectations that your teen not be in room all day?
If so, what do you expect? How do you engage?

TIA.

OP, your son who is "in his room all day":
-volunteers 12 hrs/week
-plays soccer twice a week
-has an online tutor
-attends hour-long college prep classes
-watches a show with you multiple times a week

(Sincerely) what would you like him to do?

Let's look at the numbers...
There are 168 hours in a week. Let's say he sleeps for 9 hours per day, so subtract 64 hours per week. We're now at 105 hours of time per week.
- volunteers 12 hours
- soccer 4 or 5 hours ?
- online tutor 3 or 4 hours ?
- college prep classes 1 hour per week ?
- watches some shows with parent 5 hours ?
- eats with family 8 to 10 hours?
So 37 hours of "things" in total. So 105 available hours minus 37 is 68 remaining hours.

Basically, he is in his room for about 10 hours every day. Yeah, that seems concerning to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's what my teen does some weekends but in the summer, he works 40+ hrs a week. I wouldn't let him lay around like that all summer.

OP: I hope that my son does not need to work 40 hrs a week til he's done with college and out in the work world.

In addition to his volunteer work: son works for me a few hours a week; he loves his volunteer work which he is learning a lot from while also serving others. Something he wanted to do and made it happen.

Most of my son's friends want to work. They earn their own money. I remember being excited to turn 16 so I could get a summer job other than babysitting. I helped pay for my car insurance and being able to drive was priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He does volunteer work that he enjoys about 12 hours a week; plays soccer twice a week; has an online tutor; is attending hour long sessions on how to prepare for college (which I signed him up for) so he's not inside and playing games and mindless youtube videos all day. He does not see any friends live, but texts and snapchats them daily too. We watch a show together a few nights a week, at my suggestion.

The bolded would be my only worry. Time with friends shouldn't be 100% virtual. The rest is normal.