If you lost your DH while you still had kids...
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
at home can you tell me what is going through your mind? We have a neighbor who lost her DH a few months ago and she is acting so differently. From a human experience I want to know what she's going through?
Is she going through a F the world phase? Is that what I'm seeing?? |
Anonymous
| I'm guessing there's a range of possible reactions. You might need to tell us a little more about what you're seeing. |
Anonymous
| No one knows what you are seeing and people react to grief in very different and sometimes odd ways. |
Anonymous
Everyone grieves differently. You’re seeing what you already know you’re seeing— one woman who has lost her spouse while caring for kids still at home. Wtf kind of question is this? |
Anonymous
| It’s not for you to understand or judge, OP. Your attitude and your entitlement is gross. |
Anonymous
| Oh my, instead of being supportive, you post here to bash her? |
Anonymous
+1 Hope she doesn't come across this thread. |
Anonymous
|
Ugh, I was just trying to get some insight from real anon people.
I'll just google it instead...This is interesting... On average, normal grief can last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years or more. |
Anonymous
How about instead of googling you offer to take her kids to the splash pad this weekend. Bring them home with dinner and food for breakfast. Whatever she is going through, it is awful. Give her a break. |
Anonymous
|
Unless you know her well, could be any infinite number of emotions and response.
- guilt / shame / embarrassment - extreme sadness / loneliness / freight for the every day without her spouse or the fear of a future without her spouse - maybe the marriage was rocky, maybe she is feeling a tinge of relief, which could be coupled with more guilt / sadness - trouble sleeping, nightmares, daydreams, hearing voices, seeing images, smells, sounds of her spouse, memories in every corner of their house of his presence - funeral homes / florists / clergy / insurance / more insurance / even more insurance / lawyers / 100 housing documents / estates - imagine building a life with someone, with expectation to grow old together to then suddenly be living alone, planning the future without the partnership you planned - she is navigating in-laws, her own family, her work and his work colleagues, friends, neighbors, all of whom are contacting her asking questions and asking, ‘what can I do?’ with probably very few concrete offers to help or genuine help at all - are there kids? Multiply everything about x 1,000 |
Anonymous
|
An acquaintance of mine lost her husband with several kids still at home. It turns out that she had a terrible marriage and he wasn't an involved father in the slightest. She didn't/doesn't appear to suffering from grief but primarily from having to deal with all the issues related to a death in the family of the breadwinner. They seem to be moving forward fine and the kids seem happy and well-adjusted.
I guess you just don't know what does on in people's lives. |
Anonymous
What are you seeing? |
Anonymous
| No you really don’t want to know what she is going through because the only way to do that would be to experience it yourself. In the meantime mind your own business and don’t gawk. |
Anonymous
Would let you be more surprised if she wasn’t? |
Anonymous
|
How is this a surprise to you? Grief is different for everyone and it complicated by multiple facets of a person’s unique history and relationship.
Your question makes you seem like an insensitive oaf, btw. You don’t actually seem to care about this person beyond morbid curiosity. I’m recoiling. |