If you lost your DH while you still had kids...

[Anonymous]

My aunt lost her first husband, the father of three of her children and though it’s been over 25 years, grief lays raw beneath the layers of healing and sometimes it surfaces with a vengeance. He died at 39. He was such a big part of her, that when he died, part of her died with him but she “survived” it and now he lives in that room in her heart surrounded by scars and memories. I do hope there is some truth to our loved ones looking over us, because there is so much they all lost not having him here. They have moved on of course, and found their happinesses, but thinking of what he lost too is part of the grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I was just trying to get some insight from real anon people.

I'll just google it instead...This is interesting...

On average, normal grief can last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years or more.

I hope she is able to meet your expectations.

[Anonymous]

My dad died in a car accident when I was 12. It was a work vehicle so we had a huge insurance settlement but my mom climbed into a bottle for about 4 years. I've always wondered if she would have done that had the money not been there.

[Anonymous]

What are you seeing OP?

[Anonymous]

How are you surprised that grief can last from 6 months to 2 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are you surprised that grief can last from 6 months to 2 years?

Much longer than that for many.

[Anonymous]

That's for her and her therapist to navigate. You can offer to babysit or drop off some flowers.

[Anonymous]

Have you had no one close to you die? Grief is unbearable and everyone goes through it differently. The idea that you are judging someone in one of the most tumultuous times in their life is unfathomable. If that’s not what you are doing then I’m sorry. Try and help out the family.

[Anonymous]

It’s far more abnormal to act like everything is fine and remarry immediately, like my dad unfortunately did.

[Anonymous]

For some people it can be such a shock that they momentarily go insane. When I was a kid my friend's Dad died. Her Mom went crazy for a bit and was shooting out the window. She was hospitalized and finally got it together.

[Anonymous]

Depends a lot on their relationship. Ours was strained. I had moved out a year and half before.
My in-laws overwhelm me at times and it reminds of the same control DH had over everything in my life. They still act like they know better instead of focusing on the child left behind.
It's a part time job to figure out the estate things. I declined to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:at home can you tell me what is going through your mind? We have a neighbor who lost her DH a few months ago and she is acting so differently. From a human experience I want to know what she's going through?

Is she going through a F the world phase? Is that what I'm seeing??

Everyone grieves differently. You’re seeing what you already know you’re seeing— one woman who has lost her spouse while caring for kids still at home. Wtf kind of question is this?

You were looking to get pissed off when you read the post. Just a question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, I was just trying to get some insight from real anon people.

I'll just google it instead...This is interesting...

On average, normal grief can last anywhere from 6 months to 2 years or more.

Or longer. Love on her and try to be supportive. I can tell you that if I lost my husband I would possibly lose my mind, especially with little ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you surprised that grief can last from 6 months to 2 years?

Much longer than that for many.

OP needed to google this?!????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad died in a car accident when I was 12. It was a work vehicle so we had a huge insurance settlement but my mom climbed into a bottle for about 4 years. I've always wondered if she would have done that had the money not been there.

Probably. Being wealthy is not a requirement of alcoholism.