Petty fashion/beauty advice please
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Anonymous
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A woman who used to bully me about my appearance will have a kid attending the same camp as mine later this month. I'm dreading running into her at drop-of and pick-up. I want to look really pulled together if/when I do so that it's easier for me.
Any ideas for casual but really pulled-together and stylish outfits for this? I WFH part-time and usually wear joggers or jeans and t-shirts during the day, but I want to do better than that. I just want to feel confident. I'm slender and average height with an athletic build. I will not wear heels for this (I want to look good but I don't want to be uncomfortable or look like I'm trying too hard, even though obviously I am). |
Anonymous
| How on earth did a woman bully you about your appearance?? |
Anonymous
| Casual summer dress and sandals. |
Anonymous
We worked together and she would make "jokes" about my clothes and hair, give me unsolicited advice, make comments when we took group photos at events about how I my expression or pose was screwing up the symmetry of the photo. I also overheard her saying rude things about my clothes, teeth, and hair to other people. Ftr, I'm not ugly. I think I'm pretty average looking and can be pretty if I put some effort in. I have some flaws (not amazing skin, and my teeth are crooked), but lots of people have stuff like that. I have no idea why she did this but it was brutal and I was really miserable in that job. We now have kids close in age and live in the same neighborhood and seeing her gives me a stomach ache. |
Anonymous
| What does that mean, bullied you about your dress? How does this work in adult women? |
Anonymous
Any suggestions for good casual summer dresses? I do think dresses or skirts are the way to go in terms of looking a little more pulled together, but I don't own many. Would love weather-appropriate suggestions. Was looking at some knee length cotton dresses at JCrew that look cute but was thinking it would be good to wear a pair of bike shorts underneath, so if anyone has recommendations for those, lmk. Since I'm hauling kids around, I want to be practical. |
Anonymous
What a horrible human being she is! I wish you could simply pretend she doesn't exist, but I understand realistically that's not possible. There are always minor cosmetic things that can help improve one's appearance. Crooked teeth nbd, but could invest in whitening strips to improve that aspect at least? Go to a hairdresser and get an updated cut, together with advice on how to style. I wouldn't bother with sundresses, too obvious imo, but make sure your joggers fit well and are flattering. Pair with tank tops, cute sandals, and pretty jewelry. Time dropoffs and pickups so that you are the very first one there, if possible. In and out, fast like the wind! |
Anonymous
I wear old navy bike shorts under all my dresses! Even formal ones. |
Anonymous
| ^^and for skin start on tretinoin asap. You can get it for ~20 bucks online and it helps pretty much all skin issues. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thanks -- my skin has actually gotten much better in the last 5 years or so. I think it was largely a hormonal issue and having kids and getting off birth control altogether made a huge difference. I'll definitely whiten my teeth, thanks for the suggestion. I feel good about my haircut but might get it colored. I feel ridiculous putting this effort in for this person, ugh! What I'm really looking for is a few go-to outfits though. I find it hard to dress in a pulled together way in the summer. I wasn't thinking fancy sundress, but maybe some easy t-shirt dresses with sandals? If I wore something like that, what jewelry and bag would you recommend? I see a lot of moms with those Lululemon fanny packs worn as slings -- is that too trendy? I'm more of a tote person anyway. I really want to emphasize that I know I am WAY overthinking this, but I need to do something to feel better about this because I've been stressing about this for a week now and just want to exercise some amount of control over the situation. |
Anonymous
| Don't put any energy into trying to impress this toxic person |
Anonymous
+1 Focus on affirming yourself, either through journaling, affirmations, or talking to a supportive friend. People like this can pick you apart even if you look perfect. |
Anonymous
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My suggestion would be to get your hair blow dried and eyebrows and face threaded. Put on breezy linen pants and a tucked in tshirt. Summer flat sandals and a statement necklace. You will look good but effortless.
For your skin do tret. And if your teeth bother you there is always Invisalign. Bullies often have their own insecurities. Next time she bullies you ask her if making snide remarks about people’s appearances make her feel warm and fuzzy inside. |
Anonymous
| If you're not used to wearing them summer dresses rarely looks effortless. Agree with PPs that well-fitted joggers or linen pants are the way to go. Cute shoes or sandals important. |
Anonymous
?? This is a terrible take on every level 1) summer dresses are very easy to style 2) joggers never look good 3) linen pants are actually very hard to style |