Are we racist? What would you do? Any Indian people here?
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Anonymous
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We are expats and are in Dubai for three months, in a rented apartment, before going back to the country where we spend most of the year in September.
We are Jewish. This is relevant, I think. This is supposed to be a non-smoking floor. The man across the hall, however, is a chain smoker, and in the evenings opens his apartment door wide so that the smoke and fumes from his cooking can flood into the hallway, thus entering our apartment too. I have asked him to please close the door several times, as I don't want our family exposed to the smoke (and it is a non-smoking floor). He was quite rude, and I did report him to management. Yesterday we noticed a swastika above our doorway. It appears to have been written by a finer dipped in mud or some other fluid. I was very upset and called the management, who were dismissive and unconcerned. One of them sent me a message later in the day advising that "Ma'am, it is a peaceful sign in India." I messaged him back that we are not in India, and in any case, it is a sign of hate and terrorism in many countries of the world. And they advertise and lease their units to expats from many countries. Plus this happened after the recent incident of reporting the across-the-hall neighbor for the smoking. The management messaged back that "Ma'am, it is nothing. Many of our cleaners are from India." And then refused to respond further. I didn't know what to make of this message or why the nationality of the Indian cleaners was relevant. He refused to answer any of my other messages. I was so upset. One of the cleaners in the building, a nice lady who was sympathetic, told me that the "top boss" of the property management company is German and that the people who work in the office and in customer care positions are all Indian (this may be relevant). She gave me the German man's first name, saying I should speak to him. I phoned the main office number and first calmly tried to explain over the phone how upset I was about the swastika, and the man began shouting at me that we are "trouble makers" due to the issues with the smoker, and that the swastika meant nothing. I asked him how he could know that, and how he didn't know that the smoking man hadn't written it as a sign of aggression (if it matters, the smoking man is Arabic, not Indian; the man in the management office was Indian). He spoke over me, in a loud disrespectful tone, and then I told him I wanted to speak to the German man, naming him. The Indian man in the office told me this was impossible and he didn't want to "bother" his boss. I did tell him that I believed a German person would take this issue a bit more seriously than this man appeared to be doing, that we had lived in Germany and Europe and know this is considered a hate crime there. Then he shouted at me that I am a racist and hung up. We couldn't find the German man's contact info online on the company's website, just the main office number that was gatekept by the man who had shouted at me. So I have googled and yes, a swastika does mean something different in India. But we are not in India. We are in Dubai, an Arabic country. And it just appeared over our door in the past few days. At home, we might call the police, but this seems inadvisable in Dubai. What would you do? Is it really common for Indian cleaners to put this sign on the wall or over an apartment door? |
Anonymous
| That seems odd. Why would they put the sign on just your door? And why would cleaners do it at all? |
Anonymous
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Hmmmmm this is tricky. I'm Indian American and yes, that is a Hindu symbol that can be found all over India and has peaceful connotations there so they are not making that up. Obviously it's a hateful symbol in the US and Europe. So I can see why everyone is convinced that you are creating a problem that isn't there...But I agree that you have hostility with the neighbor, and the neighbor isn't Indian, and is probably trying to mess with you by drawing that symbol. He's using the prevalence of Indian people to try and get away with it. So IMO you are a little bit trapped. Don't focus so much on the symbol, but be very watchful of this neighbor. I can only see the hostility escalating.
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Anonymous
| To clarify -- I think you are trapped bc you aren't in a country where a swastika is necessarily a hateful symbol, and because there is no way to prove your neighbor did it. He has deniability bc of all the Indians around. Fwiw I totally think he did it. But you have no proof, and you are not in a country where this is an actionable offense. |
Anonymous
| I would try and move. Your neighbor and building management are hostile. Not the best living situation... |
Anonymous
OP here. Yes, that I think. And why did it just happen to appear after reporting the (non-Indian) neighbor. Ours is the only door on the floor with a swastika above it. |
Anonymous
I would move out. Immediately. |
Anonymous
Is it normal for people to just...smear it onto the wall in a nice apartment building with their finger? Because that is what this is. It is smeared on with some kind of brownish fluid, like water mud or similar (don't want to know). Do Indian people in India just do this in buildings? |
Anonymous
| Just move. If not the swastika it’s the idiot uncultured neighbor who will be given preference in Dubai over you (you know the reason). |
Anonymous
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I’m sorry OP, this sounds stressful and I agree in the US would be treated more seriously.
That said, you’re in a foreign country short term. I think you need to figure out what you want out of this. Is your primary goal to make sure the no smoking rules are enforced? Are you trying to get out of your lease because you now feel unsafe due to the swastika? Are you trying to get someone in trouble? If so, all of these are understandable feelings, but I’d focus on what is most important of these and also what is practical. Is there anywhere else you can even move short term? Has the neighbor stopped smoking since you complained? Did anyone paint over the swastika? What can realistically be achieved here? |
Anonymous
| Can you get a security camera to film outside your door? It wouldn't help with the current incident but could with others. Or you could try to get out of your lease and move elsewhere. |
Anonymous
Yeah, I'm trying to arrange that. We are here only on a three month lease, then going back to other country. Dh has remained in other country to work. I asked the management company a week ago if they would just refund us for the remaining time so we could move somewhere smoke free, since the Arabic guy had not responded to any of my requests to stop chain-smoking (in this "non-smoking!" building) with his door wide open. They said no, no refund. It is about $18k for the three months, so I hate to just walk out and sign another lease. |
Anonymous
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At the end of the day, has the man across the hall stopped the smoking? Or has he at least started keeping his apartment door close? If so then consider that a victory and be done with it. Ignore the racist marking.
I personally am a fan of picking your battles, and would let the swastika thing go because it seems you are wasting your time and energy fighting a losing battle. You’re leaving in 3 months anyway so try to get through them with as little stress for yourself and family as possible. Yes the man was in the wrong, but at this point what are you expecting him to do? He’s not going to apologize and he doesn’t know or care about you or your family. You’re not, and won’t be, a permanent part of this community you’re living in, so ultimately this is a fight that will not end in your favor. The numbers are on his side unfortunately. My advice would be to let it go. |
Anonymous
| Not tricky. As an expat, you have a lot of power in Dubai. Use it. Go to your company or govt organization and demand a move. Threaten to go public. They will acquiesce and slowly change will come. |
Anonymous
Really? They are one step ahead of her. She has been called a trouble maker and racist. It is three against one. Who will vouch for her? No one. In the end, at best she will manage to throw some poor innocent Indian cleaner in the prison who had nothing to do with anything. |