What recourse do I have with a defiant sixteen year old?

[Anonymous]

I am at my wits end. My 16 Your old son is unbelievably defiant. He literally comes and goes as he pleases, completely disregards his curfew and my boundaries, coming in late at night, sometimes in the middle of the night, and is disrespectful beyond belief.

I am at a loss at what to do. I literally want to lock him out, but after talking to police officers, I'm told that I'm still responsible, regardless of what he does. Unless he does something illegal, they can't do anything. So, basically he's controlling things right now.

I hate to say this, but I want him out of my house, and I'm seriously considering emancipation.

[Anonymous]

How is he communicating with his friends and spending money when he’s with them?

Have you spoken with a family therapist to discuss how to manage the situation?

Doesn’t the child request the emancipation not the other way around?

[Anonymous]

Stop the money train. Sounds like having a car could be dangerous.

[Anonymous]

You can’t force a child to emancipate- they have to want to, and they have to establish for a court that they can self support.

Move on to realistic expectations.

[Anonymous]

Wilderness therapy

[Anonymous]

Does he have a phone?
Where is he getting money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wilderness therapy

no, don't do this OP.

Where do you live? In most places there is a curfew for those under age 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop the money train. Sounds like having a car could be dangerous.

OP here. Already cut off their money. And he does not have a car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop the money train. Sounds like having a car could be dangerous.

OP here. Already cut off their money. And he does not have a car.

[Anonymous]

Does he have a phone? If he didn't buy it and doesn't pay the phone plan, I'd take it and shut down the service. He can get his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have a phone?
Where is he getting money?

OP here. Yes, he has a phone. I thought about cutting that off too, but then I have no way of tracking him. And trust me, that won't stop him from leaving.

He has another parent, who finally agreed to stop giving him money, and he does have a part time job.

[Anonymous]

Did you ask him if he wants to be emancipated? Maybe he does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wilderness therapy

no, don't do this OP.

Where do you live? In most places there is a curfew for those under age 18.

OP here. We live in Maryland, where there is a curfew, but he doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you ask him if he wants to be emancipated? Maybe he does.

OP here. He won't do it on his own. He knows the law is on his side, and ultimately we are still responsible regardless of what he does.

[Anonymous]

I sent mine to residential treatment. Mine did something that allowed me to call the police and I refused to pick them up but instead made placement arrangements. Best thing I did. It turned things around. Two things. We did lots of therapy and services before that were unsuccessful. And it was extremely expensive.