Do you ever feel like you live in an alternate life?

[Anonymous]

I feel like I know what my life was supposed to be like but I’m not living in the timeline I should be. Instead I’m watching everyone else live the life I wanted to live.

[Anonymous]

This is called depersonalization and you should consult a therapist about it.

[Anonymous]

Swim your own lane, OP.

[Anonymous]

You’re idealizing other people’s lives based on social media family vacation posts or wealth signifiers like luxury cars or homes. Did you want to be married with children by now? What is it exactly that you feel should have taken place at this time in your life? Comparison is the thief of joy. Try to change what you can and practice gratitude.

[Anonymous]

What life did you want to live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You’re idealizing other people’s lives based on social media family vacation posts or wealth signifiers like luxury cars or homes. Did you want to be married with children by now? What is it exactly that you feel should have taken place at this time in your life? Comparison is the thief of joy. Try to change what you can and practice gratitude.

I wanted to be married happily with 2 kids by now and in a nice home.

I am mid-thirties with a marriage to a man child with no children as he doesn’t make enough money to support a family or ever have a down payment for a house. I am so depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You’re idealizing other people’s lives based on social media family vacation posts or wealth signifiers like luxury cars or homes. Did you want to be married with children by now? What is it exactly that you feel should have taken place at this time in your life? Comparison is the thief of joy. Try to change what you can and practice gratitude.

I wanted to be married happily with 2 kids by now and in a nice home.

I am mid-thirties with a marriage to a man child with no children as he doesn’t make enough money to support a family or ever have a down payment for a house. I am so depressed.

Okay, so action steps. Ask yourself some difficult questions, what have you done to improve your earning power? I know you see SAHMs that look like they are living on easy street, but that is not the average woman. You don’t want to have children with a man-child, anyway- all your problems will be exponentially worse. Address your depression, work on career goals, consider divorce. I know it is difficult to quit the blame game, but it is necessary to move forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You’re idealizing other people’s lives based on social media family vacation posts or wealth signifiers like luxury cars or homes. Did you want to be married with children by now? What is it exactly that you feel should have taken place at this time in your life? Comparison is the thief of joy. Try to change what you can and practice gratitude.

I wanted to be married happily with 2 kids by now and in a nice home.

I am mid-thirties with a marriage to a man child with no children as he doesn’t make enough money to support a family or ever have a down payment for a house. I am so depressed.

Okay, so action steps. Ask yourself some difficult questions, what have you done to improve your earning power? I know you see SAHMs that look like they are living on easy street, but that is not the average woman. You don’t want to have children with a man-child, anyway- all your problems will be exponentially worse. Address your depression, work on career goals, consider divorce. I know it is difficult to quit the blame game, but it is necessary to move forward.

This, OP.

[Anonymous]

Yes OP. My life and I parted ways about 14 years ago. I am in a waking dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes OP. My life and I parted ways about 14 years ago. I am in a waking dream.

What happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You’re idealizing other people’s lives based on social media family vacation posts or wealth signifiers like luxury cars or homes. Did you want to be married with children by now? What is it exactly that you feel should have taken place at this time in your life? Comparison is the thief of joy. Try to change what you can and practice gratitude.

I don't disagree with a lot of what you say here, and agree OP needs to explore why she is feeling this way and try to find acceptance with her current situation and look for ways to feel agency.

However.

The phrase "comparison is the thief of joy" needs to go away. It is (1) not always true, sometimes comparison can be a source of joy, I can't even tell you how many times I've found joy and gratitude in my own life because I have encountered someone who is struggling more than me and it puts my own blessings into sharp perspective, (2) not helpful for people experiencing envy, who generally cannot just suddenly stop feeling envious because someone recited the same trite saying to them for the 4000th time, and (3) so, so tired.

[Anonymous]

^ seriously this. You know what is the thief of joy? Poverty is the thief of joy. Living paycheck to paycheck in a permanent state of survival mode is the thief of joy. Single parenting bc your ex is an abusive alcoholic is thief of joy. Not being able to afford a house or your children's education is the thief of joy.

We are not talking about crying into your latte bc you can't travel to Iceland until 2024, FFS.

[Anonymous]

This poster posts all the time. OP, no one is going to come rescue you or change your life. Only you have the power to do that. The people you admire worked hard to be there. Make some changes. Life didn't happen to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This poster posts all the time. OP, no one is going to come rescue you or change your life. Only you have the power to do that. The people you admire worked hard to be there. Make some changes. Life didn't happen to you.

+1 only you can make the changes you need to be happy. DO something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This poster posts all the time. OP, no one is going to come rescue you or change your life. Only you have the power to do that. The people you admire worked hard to be there. Make some changes. Life didn't happen to you.

This. I am not living the life that I once thought I would, but I also haven’t actively gone after it—because, as it turns out, I am happier doing something different.

Acknowledge your decisions and choices. Figure out what you really want and take steps in that direction.