WSJ: moms “gatekeep” kids and partially to blame for estranged dads

[Anonymous]

WSJ really knows how to uplift spirits on Fathers Day

https://www.wsj.com/articles/for-estranged-dads-fathers-day-is-a-painful-reminder-9fe72b8f?st=ozj2bnv961qjw67&mod=e2fb&fbclid=IwAR1iV4O7QW1EVuYT_vPjskgsA5fHGSfQri3e7SfCFo8CjxLlr210XR4K-Yo_aem_th_Adov7G4uMW1sqEDmWEV403SGwONHTZsniyuz8I6kdFNzNHLenjE-QMTO2NwctDQ03Lk&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

[Anonymous]

“ When fathers repartner later in life, they are more likely to prioritize the romantic relationship and new children, while ties to their preexisting children often become weaker.”

But sure blame the moms..

[Anonymous]

The Wall Street Journal is right wing trash. Particularly when it comes to things that don't involve hard facts about business issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“ When fathers repartner later in life, they are more likely to prioritize the romantic relationship and new children, while ties to their preexisting children often become weaker.”

But sure blame the moms..

The dads prioritize the new wife and kids BECAUSE first wife is denying him a relationship with his first set of kids. He has no other option.

I was one of those “first set of kids” and I couldn’t have a relationship with my dad until I was an adult. He explained to me that my mom had denied him access to us. And I believed him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ When fathers repartner later in life, they are more likely to prioritize the romantic relationship and new children, while ties to their preexisting children often become weaker.”

But sure blame the moms..

The dads prioritize the new wife and kids BECAUSE first wife is denying him a relationship with his first set of kids. He has no other option.

I was one of those “first set of kids” and I couldn’t have a relationship with my dad until I was an adult. He explained to me that my mom had denied him access to us. And I believed him.

Oh man are you gullible. This is the lie men tell the kids they neglected bc they couldn’t deal with their own flaws and their own anger at paying what is usually minimal child support while the first wife does all the work and bites her tongue not to badmouth the ahole.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but believing that Bs is the lie you collude in and tell yourself bc the truth — that your dad was a pos who abandoned you for selfish reasons — is too painful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ When fathers repartner later in life, they are more likely to prioritize the romantic relationship and new children, while ties to their preexisting children often become weaker.”

But sure blame the moms..

The dads prioritize the new wife and kids BECAUSE first wife is denying him a relationship with his first set of kids. He has no other option.

I was one of those “first set of kids” and I couldn’t have a relationship with my dad until I was an adult. He explained to me that my mom had denied him access to us. And I believed him.

And my FIL claims he wasn't cheating on my DH's mother. Spoiler: he was; it was well documented.

Some dads lie to make themselves look better to their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ When fathers repartner later in life, they are more likely to prioritize the romantic relationship and new children, while ties to their preexisting children often become weaker.”

But sure blame the moms..

The dads prioritize the new wife and kids BECAUSE first wife is denying him a relationship with his first set of kids. He has no other option.

I was one of those “first set of kids” and I couldn’t have a relationship with my dad until I was an adult. He explained to me that my mom had denied him access to us. And I believed him.

Denied access? Was your father in prison, and your mother wouldn’t let you visit? Which, honestly, the court usually mandates even those visits if the father wants them.

Your father didn’t fight for any custody. And if your mother refuses to allow him to see you- then he should have called a lawyer. More likely, he decided it wasn’t worth the effort.

I’m sorry you went through that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Wall Street Journal is right wing trash. Particularly when it comes to things that don't involve hard facts about business issues.

+1

[Anonymous]

Very few parents whose kids won't talk to them will admit to themselves what actually happened, even if the kids have repeatedly and specifically told them.

[Anonymous]

Pfff I begged my DH to see our kids more but he always prioritized work, traveling and social events over being a dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“ When fathers repartner later in life, they are more likely to prioritize the romantic relationship and new children, while ties to their preexisting children often become weaker.”

But sure blame the moms..

The dads prioritize the new wife and kids BECAUSE first wife is denying him a relationship with his first set of kids. He has no other option.

I was one of those “first set of kids” and I couldn’t have a relationship with my dad until I was an adult. He explained to me that my mom had denied him access to us. And I believed him.

Sure. Your the woman who believes her H was denied custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pfff I begged my DH to see our kids more but he always prioritized work, traveling and social events over being a dad.

My friend had the courts force her H to take the kids 50% of the time.

He showed up to court and made a big fuss about being an involved father and demanded custody.

The judge was like great your being given ever other week.

He was like well… I didn’t mean that much and the judge was like figure it out.

[Anonymous]

It’s laughable that men who move on to second families are blocked from the first one. They LEFT the first one.

[Anonymous]

Good grief! Talk about some DCUM clickbait. The article is way more nuanced than this silly post indicates.
Let me share a couple of passage from the article:

…Of course, it’s not just di­vorce that lim­its fa­thers’ in­volve­ment. Men—di­vorced or mar­ried—are some­times less will­ing or able to en­gage in the kind of com­mu­ni­ca­tion nec­es­sary for a good re­la­tion-ship with adult chil­dren. They’re also less likely to seek guid­ance or cor­rec­tive feed-back from fam­ily or friends when things start to un­ravel. “Men’s main prob­lem is not self-loathing, stu­pid­ity, greed, or any of the le­gions of other things they’re ac­cused of,” writes psy­chol­o­gist Thomas Joiner in “Lonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men’s Suc-cess.” “The prob­lem, in­stead, is lone­li­ness; as they age, they grad­u­ally lose con­tact with friends and fam­ily,” of­ten as a re­sult of plac­ing work and au­ton­omy at the cen­ter of their lives…

… But his daugh­ter sees things dif­fer­ently. It’s a com­mon gen­er­a­tional di­vide, due in part to an ex­pand­ing de­f­i­n­i­tion of abu­sive or ne­glect­ful be­hav­ior. Un­for­tu-nately, fa­thers are more likely than moth­ers to re­spond with hos­til­ity when they feel dis­re­spected or re­jected, which only weak­ens the mo­ti­va­tion a child might have to for­give or heal. Based on my re­search and the thou­sands of es­tranged dads I’ve coun­seled, my ad­vice to fa­thers is: Don’t de­fend, don’t blame, and don’t crit­i-cize. In­stead of ask­ing your child “Why are you do­ing this to me,” say “I know you wouldn’t do this un­less you felt like it was the health­i­est thing to do.”