What conversations in discussions do you have with your pets?

[Anonymous]

With the return of our only child from college this summer, it has been pointed out to us by said child that we talk to our pets a lot.

I regularly discuss with one cat her oppressive obsessive desire to be within touching distance of me. I regularly suggest other hobbies she should engage in or how she might enjoy looking out the front door.

With the dog we both discuss food and eating quite a bit. Also how his lack of opposable thumbs presents many challenges for him.

Our second cat is definitely my husband's favorite and has great disdain for the other creatures in the house. We often discuss her bad attitude.

What do you discuss with your pets? Or is my son correct that his parents have lost it.

[Anonymous]

I talk to my newest dog about the importance of using the pee pads. I talk to my other dog about setting a good example, the new dog never lived in a house before, she watches her for what to do, etc. We also talk daily about the food they eat and why their fur is so shiny. With the first dog, I talk about how it doesn't matter if she likes the mailman or the Amazon driver, they're still going to come up to the door. Baby steps...

[Anonymous]

Mostly we argue about food. He says I don’t feed him enough, but I swear I do.

The problem is that he says the meat bits only taste good when there’s gravy over them, but there’s not enough gravy for his needs.

[Anonymous]

With our dog, we discuss everything under the sun: his smallness, cuteness, and fuzziness; his toe beans and snoot; and how hard life must be for him.

[Anonymous]

I ask my cats a lot of questions: what are you doing? Are you hungry? Do you need to be patted? I work at home for the most part, so they're the only ones I can talk to during the day--in my house, that is. I talk all day to people on work calls/zooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With our dog, we discuss everything under the sun: his smallness, cuteness, and fuzziness; his toe beans and snoot; and how hard life must be for him.

As the OP I can relate. Our pets seem to have very traumatic lives. We regularly apologize for how difficult and unpleasant it must be. We won't let them run out the front door, we won't let them eat the rubber band they found on the floor, my husband won't let them drive the car because the whole opposable something. I don't think they need thumbs to drive a car, but I have to back up my husband. So hard for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ask my cats a lot of questions: what are you doing? Are you hungry? Do you need to be patted? I work at home for the most part, so they're the only ones I can talk to during the day--in my house, that is. I talk all day to people on work calls/zooms.

Will they tell you what they are doing or do they try to hide it? My cat knows I suspect her of doing something improper when I ask what she is up to. She never confesses.

[Anonymous]

One of my dogs regularly lets me know that he’s practically wasting away, and that I should know that beagles are supposed to be fat. He also agrees with me that he is the handsome-est boy.

My other dog is a little spicier. She complains about the fact that her doggie brother gets any attention at all, and her response to being told her butt stinks is, “Go f_ck yourself.” She also agrees with me that she is SO pretty.

[Anonymous]

Hilarious. My WOH husband also tells me whenever he’s home that I talk to our dog constantly. Mostly about whatever is on my mind.

[Anonymous]

I ask my cats a lot of questions: what are you doing? Are you hungry? Do you need to be patted? I work at home for the most part, so they're the only ones I can talk to during the day--in my house, that is. I talk all day to people on work calls/zooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my dogs regularly lets me know that he’s practically wasting away, and that I should know that beagles are supposed to be fat. He also agrees with me that he is the handsome-est boy.

My other dog is a little spicier. She complains about the fact that her doggie brother gets any attention at all, and her response to being told her butt stinks is, “Go f_ck yourself.” She also agrees with me that she is SO pretty.

Same pp here - to be clear, we humans speak FOR our dogs in these conversations. There’s a dialogue happening. Boy dog sounds kinda like a surfer dude, and girl dog sounds a little like Dee on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my dogs regularly lets me know that he’s practically wasting away, and that I should know that beagles are supposed to be fat. He also agrees with me that he is the handsome-est boy.

My other dog is a little spicier. She complains about the fact that her doggie brother gets any attention at all, and her response to being told her butt stinks is, “Go f_ck yourself.” She also agrees with me that she is SO pretty.

Same pp here - to be clear, we humans speak FOR our dogs in these conversations. There’s a dialogue happening. Boy dog sounds kinda like a surfer dude, and girl dog sounds a little like Dee on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Interesting, We talk to, and of course they respond, in distinct voices. Our dog does sound a lot like Charlie from it's always Sunny in Philadelphia. Thinking about it more, I realize one of our cats sounds like an impression of Trump (ugh).

[Anonymous]

For my one dog, we narrate his thoughts, most of his thoughts are about food.

For our other dog, we validate how terrifying random household objects can be and tell her how brave she is when she’s able to ignore them. We also make truck back up beeping sounds when she backs away to exit between the coffee table and the sofa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For my one dog, we narrate his thoughts, most of his thoughts are about food.

For our other dog, we validate how terrifying random household objects can be and tell her how brave she is when she’s able to ignore them. We also make truck back up beeping sounds when she backs away to exit between the coffee table and the sofa.

Other than the evil vacuum, what traumatic objects do you have? Coffee bean grinder could be an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my one dog, we narrate his thoughts, most of his thoughts are about food.

For our other dog, we validate how terrifying random household objects can be and tell her how brave she is when she’s able to ignore them. We also make truck back up beeping sounds when she backs away to exit between the coffee table and the sofa.

Other than the evil vacuum, what traumatic objects do you have? Coffee bean grinder could be an issue.

Well… she’s kind of special, and we knew that when we got her. She’s very vigilant, aware of any changes in the environment like a lamp turning on by smart bulb, afraid of wires and cords, sometimes startled at unintended sudden movements by humans. But, she’s not always like that! She has times of day (evening and night) and parts of the house where she’s less vigilant and will roll over for belly rubs, etc. And she bosses us around in the evening to pet her by pawing at us.