If you stayed after infidelity

post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
[Post New]05/14/2023 17:57
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Anonymous
What made you ultimately stay? How did you work through things together and individually? Did life ever get back to some sense of “normal”? Do you wish you’d divorced in hindsight?

I was thrown for a loop 3 months ago and we are working through options and counseling. We have young children and supporting separate households would be extremely difficult. Our marriage has not been perfect but there has been respect, appreciation, friendship, good parenting. Romance has dwindled as time goes on (middle age and have been together two decades) but not a loveless, emotionless union. There has been no history of lies, deceit, or otherwise. FWIW it was a one time drunk night out situation, he came clean immediately, and I believe him that’s it’s not serial behavior. Maybe I shouldn’t but I do.

He is ashamed, regretful, remorse, wants to do anything to repair if possible. I think some days I should leave and other days we should try.

Knowing all situations are deeply personal if your partner strayed and you stayed, please share your story if comfortable.
[Post New]05/14/2023 18:12
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Anonymous
How was this discovered? If you caught him it likely was NOT a one time event.

It’s selfish if he just fessed up that he strayed one time.
[Post New]05/14/2023 18:34
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Anonymous
If it was just one tokenism get over it and movenon.
[Post New]05/14/2023 18:48
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Anonymous
Op- that CAN truly be a one night mistake. I would forgive and move on with proper therapy and transparency.

I'm the the same boat but it was a 2 year affair. I WISH it was a one night stand.
[Post New]05/14/2023 18:49
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How was this discovered? If you caught him it likely was NOT a one time event.

It’s selfish if he just fessed up that he strayed one time.


It irritates me that people say this. You might think that but others do not.
[Post New]05/14/2023 20:15
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Anonymous
Lots of therapy
[Post New]05/14/2023 21:37
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Anonymous
Therapy, 3.5 years of trust building and a very powerful friendship.
I’m glad I stayed.
[Post New]05/14/2023 21:55
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Anonymous
Did he know this person prior, a friend, co-worker? Or was it just some rando he met at a bar?
[Post New]05/14/2023 21:56
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Did he know this person prior, a friend, co-worker? Or was it just some rando he met at a bar?


And does she have his contact info?
[Post New]05/14/2023 22:09
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Anonymous
Probably a lot stayed because they could not financially support themselves.
[Post New]05/14/2023 22:30
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Anonymous
You can add me to the I-don’t-want-to-know club. If the Op’s situation happened to me, I think I would be even more angry about the confession (knowing it would ruin our family) than the one night stand.
[Post New]05/14/2023 23:38
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:You can add me to the I-don’t-want-to-know club. If the Op’s situation happened to me, I think I would be even more angry about the confession (knowing it would ruin our family) than the one night stand.


Agree
[Post New]05/15/2023 06:28
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Anonymous
If he is shameful and this one one time thing why would he talk about it? regret and remorse? Must have not been good so why mentions it? Probably lasted 3 minutes and he was the one who sucked at it.
Had it been good, he would want more.
[Post New]05/15/2023 06:37
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Lots of therapy


+ 1 in addition to couples therapy, individual therapy for him so he can why this happened.
[Post New]05/15/2023 06:49
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Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lots of therapy


+ 1 in addition to couples therapy, individual therapy for him so he can why this happened.


And why he told you.
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