Making child go to a school they don’t want to.

[Anonymous]

What are your thoughts on this if you know it’s the right school for your child, but they are completely against in and want to go to a larger coed school, as opposed to a single sex small school with less opportunities. Having a hard time with this decision.

[Anonymous]

Depends how old the child is, why the kid wants to go the other school, if either school incorporates religion, if the school is known to be exceptionally intense/ rigorous, commute time and the extracurricular requirements the school has.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t send a kid to a school like Brookewood, the Heights or Oakcrest against their will. Just no.

[Anonymous]

Child is a rising freshman, deciding between two private schools. One is a much larger, coe school, where she wouldn’t be able to play any sports. The other is all girls, much smaller and would be able to play sports, with a very supportive feel from teacher. She does not want to go to all girls, but we feel it’s a better fit for her with less distractions and more opportunities. And side note, she wanted to go to the all girls school very badly until about 3 months ago, but after attending the shadow day, and a few welcome events to days she feels “out of place”.

[Anonymous]

Listen to her.

[Anonymous]

Visitation or Oakcrest? These are not for all girls. I’d trust her gut.

[Anonymous]

At that age, I would go with her choice.

[Anonymous]

What was the point of the shadow day if not to get the feel of the school? She went, she didn’t like he vibe and now you want to shove it down her throat? Nope. Trust her.

[Anonymous]

OP she actually went to two shadow days at both schools. The first one at the all girls she loved and was no question to is going. Hated the first at the larger school. The opposite happen at her second shadow days. So that’s what makes this so hard. Also two of her best friends are going to the bigger coed school and I don’t want her to make the decision based on ghat.

[Anonymous]

Let her decide.

[Anonymous]

It's her choice about how important playing sports is to her. She might find a new passion at the bigger school.

Why do you think the girls' school is a better option? I think you can lay out all the pros and cons, but at the end of the day, it's her choice. If the coed school was so bad, you wouldn't have applied at all.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s a better option for a few reasons. I feel a big reason she wants to go to the larger school is because her best friends is going there and a lots of kids from the neighborhood-so less change. She does not like change. smaller classes, less distractions, more opportunities (sports, clubs, travel). Just seems like such a supportive, caring environment which I think she would thrive off of and help raise her self esteem.

[Anonymous]

My mother wanted me to go to a local IB high school. I took the entrance exam and got in, but I chose to go to the public high school to be with my worthless boyfriend. I wish she would have pushed me harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a better option for a few reasons. I feel a big reason she wants to go to the larger school is because her best friends is going there and a lots of kids from the neighborhood-so less change. She does not like change. smaller classes, less distractions, more opportunities (sports, clubs, travel). Just seems like such a supportive, caring environment which I think she would thrive off of and help raise her self esteem.

But if she feels capable of handling the larger school, don’t stand in the way. She is telling you what makes her thrive and have strong self esteem - being near kids she knows. Congrats on having a community, so let her use it!

[Anonymous]

This is a tough one and we're in the same boat with one of our kids - flip-flopping between two school options and weighing one more heavily b/c a friend is going there. Before now, two people voted on stuff like this and DH/I would get 51% of the vote, but now that DC is choosing a HS, we're going to try the reverse. We're going to share with DC our pro/con list, and our expectations, and let DC choose. Will it work out well, I don't really know, but I do know that if we mandate where DC goes and it's NOT successful that could be a recipe for disaster based on the kind of kid DC is.