Dead Parent's Birthdays

[Anonymous]

Yes or No:

Would you think a spouse of 15+ years would rememeber/remark/acknowledge on your dead parent's birthday?

[Anonymous]

Mine doesn't and the death was in the last few years. He does typically acknowledge the anniversary of my parent's death, which was a more memorable date in my spouse's life than my parent's birthday.

I don't blame him; I need reminders about my spouse's living parents' birthdays (and vice versa). It's just not a thing either of us is going to make a big deal or feel hurt about.

[Anonymous]

No. And coincidently we each had a parent die on the same day but not the same year. Some years one remembers or we both forget. I can’t remember a year where we both remembers. Our parents have been gone for 25+ years.

[Anonymous]

^^ oops sorry. I just reread and say you asked about birthdays not the anniversary of their death. Neither of us remembers our deceased parents birthdays.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

I know the months of my husband's parents birthdays (they're still living), but not the days, so no, I would definitely not remember once they are gone. I'm not even sure he would. He has never once acknowledged the birthdays or anniversaries of my deceased identical twin and older brother. Spouses all suck. Your expectations are way too high.

[Anonymous]

I don't remember my own dad's birthdays. I only remember the birthdays of my immidiate family, my mom, my siblings. I am so bad about it. Also, since I am not on any social media, I do not get remeinders either.

[Anonymous]

If it’s the first year or two after the death, that would be a kindness. Same with your spouse turning the same age their parent was when they passed — “I just realized that you turned 50 this year, same as your dad was when he celebrated his last birthday.” Or maybe when the parent would have turned a milestone number, especially if it’s close to when they died.

But every year? Forever? You may want to find something else to fight about.

[Anonymous]

My husband does because I remember and we raise a toast to my mom every year. I don't think he would remember on his own, not a chance, but he knows it is important to me.

[Anonymous]

Not at all

[Anonymous]

First year I think it should be remembered and then...I am happy to have happy memories when ever they come up.

[Anonymous]

No. If you want a moment of remembrance or whatever, do a toast or say a special prayer or something, but no, your spouse doesn’t need to do anything special. That’s way too much. If your spouse remembers and celebrates your birthday and your kids’ birthdays, that’s all that is important.

[Anonymous]

No, My husband didn't even know/remember when my dad's birthday was when my dad was alive.

[Anonymous]

It's normal but just depends on the person.

[Anonymous]

No, I probably wouldn’t myself.