Why doesn't my wife like me?

[Anonymous]

This is not a real question and I don't want an answer. But I am a socially awkward guy who is successful. By no means do I think I'm perfect, but I would love to come in from work one day and hear that I did something well. Does that ever happen to men?

I come home and try to spend time with her but she always tells me she doesn't want to hear about our direct care about my interests whether that be books or TV shows or games, parenting whatever. No-go.

Instead, she'll point out things I do wrong that I guess embarrass her and focus on that, telling me how to improve. But then I improve and create another dependency and the cycle repeats.

It's frustrating because I feel like she married this nerdy dude and she knew he was nerdy. Now she's trying to change me for social acceptance, and meanwhile nerdy me feels isolated.

[Anonymous]

You deserve better. Lots of nerdy girls out there. Or just kind ones.

[Anonymous]

Do you tell her about things she did well? Note: that does NOT mean tell her that you approve of her physical appearance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You deserve better. Lots of nerdy girls out there. Or just kind ones.

One does wonder why he didn’t marry one in the first place. Maybe for “social acceptance”?

[Anonymous]

She sounds horrible. I'd get a divorce. What give her the right to criticize you, is she a 10 or a tremendous achiever?

[Anonymous]

Talk to her about this.

Marriage counseling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She sounds horrible. I'd get a divorce. What give her the right to criticize you, is she a 10 or a tremendous achiever?

I don't want a divorce. I want the woman I married back. I feel like a child typing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her about this.

Marriage counseling.

We're discussing this because we're talking different languages. I'm probably writing this and doing a bad job of summarizing her. I just feel like she's trying to change me and reach time she does she complains about how I changed

[Anonymous]

Probably due to years of built up resentment. She could have good reason for that accumulation. OTOH sometimes women of a certain age just get miserable and blame others for their unhappiness. Without knowing more details about your dynamic, there’s no way to tell. But what you describe sounds like contempt or resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to her about this.

Marriage counseling.

We're discussing this because we're talking different languages. I'm probably writing this and doing a bad job of summarizing her. I just feel like she's trying to change me and reach time she does she complains about how I changed

Well, did you behave differently to win her? Do a better job feigning an interest in the things she likes?

[Anonymous]

Mine also said out of nowhere that he wants to hear how awesome he was. I said negative things only when he had unloaded 10 on me. I didn't have any positive things say to be honest, so I didn't.
We hardly talked, so it's not like I was going on and on about his bad behavior socially. He just had a need an I couldn't fulfill it after days and days of silent treatment.

[Anonymous]

Develop a new hobby that's somewhat masculine, like woodworking. Also, begin volunteering at a soup kitchen. You want respect, not neediness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine also said out of nowhere that he wants to hear how awesome he was. I said negative things only when he had unloaded 10 on me. I didn't have any positive things say to be honest, so I didn't.
We hardly talked, so it's not like I was going on and on about his bad behavior socially. He just had a need an I couldn't fulfill it after days and days of silent treatment.

And this is how affairs happen, even with fat/old/ugly women wives are shocked by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine also said out of nowhere that he wants to hear how awesome he was. I said negative things only when he had unloaded 10 on me. I didn't have any positive things say to be honest, so I didn't.
We hardly talked, so it's not like I was going on and on about his bad behavior socially. He just had a need an I couldn't fulfill it after days and days of silent treatment.

And this is how affairs happen, even with fat/old/ugly women wives are shocked by.

Because women fail to sufficiently fawn over men who treat them badly? OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Develop a new hobby that's somewhat masculine, like woodworking. Also, begin volunteering at a soup kitchen. You want respect, not neediness

I have a lot of masculine hobbies that I don't have time for because of kids - I play sports and do ligh home repair. But those are not what I do for fun, more things that I do for necessity, if the boys are doing it or if sheet rock needs repair. What I do for fun is sudokus. But wifey doesn't like that.