Team work dinner scheduled first night of Passover
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Anonymous
| My new boss just sent out a schedule for a 2 day team meeting with his previous team and my team which was recently reorganized to report up to him for April 5-6. The schedule includes a team dinner onApril 5th which is the first night of Passover. I am a reform Jew and while it’s not part of the High Holy Days we have plans to go to a Seder that night. I feel a lot of pressure to go to this dinner with new boss and team but it’s an important night for my family. How should I handle this situation? Put work ahead of personal and religious commitments? My company is very woke about most things but I’ve noticed executives who have big meetings on during the high holy days and now this. Not sure if it’s an oversight, lack of awareness or what. |
Anonymous
| Since its a two day meeting go ahead with Seder and let them know why you're missing |
Anonymous
| If you’re not comfortable, have a colleague send a note pointing out that it’s the first night of Passover. Most non-Jews wouldn’t have put it together. That would give him the opportunity to reschedule. If there isn’t such a person, then decline the dinner on account of Passover. |
Anonymous
|
First, I would assume it was an oversight. I would bet the two days were picked best for scheduling without looking at the whole picture. Was it right, no, but I assume there was a back and forth and this is where is landed.
I normally always put work over personal life, to the detriment of my family. I would probably suck it up and go. However, now that I’m the boss of a large team I’d hope someone would flag this for me. I’d feel bad and change the date or if impossible, tell the person to please celebrate with their family. So, chat with your boss. Feel the vibe and let him know of the conflict. I bet he didn’t even know. |
Anonymous
| I would definitely point it out. I feel like if you mention it is the first night of Passover, any reasonable person would say, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I would certainly mention it before making any kind of decision about which to prioritize. |
Anonymous
+1. Most likely an oversight. Most non-Jews probably don’t know the exact dates of Passover off the top of their head. |
Anonymous
| Agree point it out. The high holidays show up on my work calendar but I don’t think first night of Passover does so I can see my missing this. I’m always googling various holidays trying to avoid cross scheduling as. I have one group that includes Jews, Eastern Orthodox, Protestants, Catholics and Hindus. |
Anonymous
+ as a non-Jew, I'd be happy to raise this issue if you even hinted at it. |
Anonymous
| I would decline and say it’s because of Passover. If you’re in the DC area, it’s spring break for many of the school systems, so it will probably get rescheduled anyway because some people will be out of town. |
Anonymous
+1. I always assume non-Jews don't know about Jewish holidays or don't realize they all start the night before the calendar date, etc. I would tell him that it's the first night of Passover and you have a religious obligation to attend a seder, so you cannot make it. I mean if you want to put work first, it's your choice, but you don't have to. This isn't 1950 and we live in a cosmopolitan area. People should get it. Personally, if I planned to go to a seder, I'd go to a seder; and if it was on another night of Passover I would only attend if I could bring my own food. But you should do what you are comfortable with. |
Anonymous
|
If you tell your new boss that you cannot attend because of your religious obligations and you get some resistance or pushback, that also tells you something.
In that event, I would attend the dinner (if you are willing to do so) and start looking around for other positions. |
Anonymous
| You should totally say something. Personally, I try to schedule around holidays but have occasionally blown it, and felt bad (and rescheduled) when it was brought to my attention. |
Anonymous
| I would say something but my family always does a Seder on the weekend night of Passover. We have guests flying in and kids are college. People are more important than dates to us. |
Anonymous
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This is a boundary you do not cross, because when you do, you’ll never get it back. Tell them it’s a religious holiday and you are unable to attend. Your level of adherence to strict religious practices is none of their business and completely irrelevant. Religious is practice is personal. Jewish people should feel no obligation to compromise their personal practices to accommodate was certainly an oversight. We live in a diverse area. This happens sometimes and honestly, it your boss isn’t understanding, you should find another job because it would be indicative of a disregard for work-life balance.
When you bring it up, it doesn’t just help you. It helps your supervisor and your coworkers also, who will see that you do it and feel more aware of their scheduling and more comfortable bringing up their own conflicts. |
Anonymous
| I’ve brought this up countless times and I work for the federal government and my organization tries to be “woke.” I always assume people don’t know when the holidays are and usually things are rescheduled but on the few occasions they aren’t, I escalate; but it’s easier because I work for the government. |