Dds friends caught with edibles/vapes

[Anonymous]

Dd is in 8th grade. She is very much a goody two shoes type and hates/is afraid of drugs and smoking. She is 13 and young for her grade. I have just learned from another mom that some of her closest friends have been caught vaping and having edibles - both caught in their pockets and from posts on social media. Dd doesn’t have social media and I don’t think she knows about this but I of course need to ask her. I don’t think she is partaking (and the person who told me doesn’t either) but I am concerned. This seems very young and of course I’m worried about what could be in the drugs. These are most likely purchased from the “smoke shops” and bodegas that are all over near her school (we live in NYC).

How would you approach with her? And would you tell other moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dd is in 8th grade. She is very much a goody two shoes type and hates/is afraid of drugs and smoking. She is 13 and young for her grade. I have just learned from another mom that some of her closest friends have been caught vaping and having edibles - both caught in their pockets and from posts on social media. Dd doesn’t have social media and I don’t think she knows about this but I of course need to ask her. I don’t think she is partaking (and the person who told me doesn’t either) but I am concerned. This seems very young and of course I’m worried about what could be in the drugs. These are most likely purchased from the “smoke shops” and bodegas that are all over near her school (we live in NYC).

How would you approach with her? And would you tell other moms?

Moms other than the kids already caught? No. MYOB.

[Anonymous]

It's not young for that - it's within an average age. And it's not your place to tell other moms. Don't be a gossip.

I am not sure why you feel the need to tell your DD. Why not just quietly encourage/foster her friendships with other kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not young for that - it's within an average age. And it's not your place to tell other moms. Don't be a gossip.

I am not sure why you feel the need to tell your DD. Why not just quietly encourage/foster her friendships with other kids?

You have elementary school children, don’t you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not young for that - it's within an average age. And it's not your place to tell other moms. Don't be a gossip.

I am not sure why you feel the need to tell your DD. Why not just quietly encourage/foster her friendships with other kids?

You have elementary school children, don’t you?

Nope, middle, HS and college. With an 8th grader you can just say "hey, how's Molly these days? I haven't seen Abby in a while - I miss her" and my kids will go "Oh yeah, I need to Facetime Abby."

[Anonymous]

I would have a frank conversation with your daughter about what you've learned and reinforce your expectations for her and I would tell other moms if you felt like their kids could be influenced by their friends' behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dd is in 8th grade. She is very much a goody two shoes type and hates/is afraid of drugs and smoking. She is 13 and young for her grade. I have just learned from another mom that some of her closest friends have been caught vaping and having edibles - both caught in their pockets and from posts on social media. Dd doesn’t have social media and I don’t think she knows about this but I of course need to ask her. I don’t think she is partaking (and the person who told me doesn’t either) but I am concerned. This seems very young and of course I’m worried about what could be in the drugs. These are most likely purchased from the “smoke shops” and bodegas that are all over near her school (we live in NYC).

How would you approach with her? And would you tell other moms?

Moms other than the kids already caught? No. MYOB.

The kids were not caught by their moms, so their moms don’t know. One of them is my DD’s best friend and I’m very close with her mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dd is in 8th grade. She is very much a goody two shoes type and hates/is afraid of drugs and smoking. She is 13 and young for her grade. I have just learned from another mom that some of her closest friends have been caught vaping and having edibles - both caught in their pockets and from posts on social media. Dd doesn’t have social media and I don’t think she knows about this but I of course need to ask her. I don’t think she is partaking (and the person who told me doesn’t either) but I am concerned. This seems very young and of course I’m worried about what could be in the drugs. These are most likely purchased from the “smoke shops” and bodegas that are all over near her school (we live in NYC).

How would you approach with her? And would you tell other moms?

Moms other than the kids already caught? No. MYOB.

The kids were not caught by their moms, so their moms don’t know. One of them is my DD’s best friend and I’m very close with her mom.

OP, just spit out the whole story clearly. Who caught the kids? If it's school, the school will call their parents.

[Anonymous]

Have a conversation with your child. But before you do that.....look through all her stuff. All of it, including her phone.

Do you think the moms of the girls caught with the stuff would have also considered their kids "goody two shoes" who are afraid of drugs?

And no matter what you find or don't find, tell you kid what you learned and ask her what she knows. Ask open ended question, multiple times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dd is in 8th grade. She is very much a goody two shoes type and hates/is afraid of drugs and smoking. She is 13 and young for her grade. I have just learned from another mom that some of her closest friends have been caught vaping and having edibles - both caught in their pockets and from posts on social media. Dd doesn’t have social media and I don’t think she knows about this but I of course need to ask her. I don’t think she is partaking (and the person who told me doesn’t either) but I am concerned. This seems very young and of course I’m worried about what could be in the drugs. These are most likely purchased from the “smoke shops” and bodegas that are all over near her school (we live in NYC).

How would you approach with her? And would you tell other moms?

Moms other than the kids already caught? No. MYOB.

The kids were not caught by their moms, so their moms don’t know. One of them is my DD’s best friend and I’m very close with her mom.

OP, just spit out the whole story clearly. Who caught the kids? If it's school, the school will call their parents.

+1 op, you need to clarify

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have a conversation with your child. But before you do that.....look through all her stuff. All of it, including her phone.

Do you think the moms of the girls caught with the stuff would have also considered their kids "goody two shoes" who are afraid of drugs?

And no matter what you find or don't find, tell you kid what you learned and ask her what she knows. Ask open ended question, multiple times.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dd is in 8th grade. She is very much a goody two shoes type and hates/is afraid of drugs and smoking. She is 13 and young for her grade. I have just learned from another mom that some of her closest friends have been caught vaping and having edibles - both caught in their pockets and from posts on social media. Dd doesn’t have social media and I don’t think she knows about this but I of course need to ask her. I don’t think she is partaking (and the person who told me doesn’t either) but I am concerned. This seems very young and of course I’m worried about what could be in the drugs. These are most likely purchased from the “smoke shops” and bodegas that are all over near her school (we live in NYC).

How would you approach with her? And would you tell other moms?

Moms other than the kids already caught? No. MYOB.

The kids were not caught by their moms, so their moms don’t know. One of them is my DD’s best friend and I’m very close with her mom.

OP, just spit out the whole story clearly. Who caught the kids? If it's school, the school will call their parents.

+1 op, you need to clarify

No, another parent caught them. I don’t know who. AFAIK the school and the parents of the girls don’t know. It was a parent of a boy who found them.

[Anonymous]

The parent who found out MUST report it to the girls' parents. Also to the school, but only if it happened on school grounds.

[Anonymous]

I am REALLY getting sick of parents not being a village. All of these posts of videos, drugs, etc… and you moms are not contacting the other parents immediately.

OP, 8th grade is no where near early for this. I know of 6th graders that are vaping. But the problem is schools are barely addressing it and parents like you who beat around the bush and think not my kid, not my problem. It is 100% your problem as your kid is actively involved with these girls. Most vaping happens on school grounds. Not at home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am REALLY getting sick of parents not being a village. All of these posts of videos, drugs, etc… and you moms are not contacting the other parents immediately.

OP, 8th grade is no where near early for this. I know of 6th graders that are vaping. But the problem is schools are barely addressing it and parents like you who beat around the bush and think not my kid, not my problem. It is 100% your problem as your kid is actively involved with these girls. Most vaping happens on school grounds. Not at home

I never said not my kid not my problem. I don’t know the details and I am worried. I’m worried about my daughters friends.
Dh and I spoke with her. She 100% did not know it was happening and she’s very upset. And worried. I trust her. I do want to think carefully about what or how I tell the other parents because again I don’t know all the details.