would you marry someone with a wooden leg, who lives on a tall ship and their BFF is a parrot?

[Anonymous]

I'm torn, guys. On the one hand, this man makes me feel like we'll have a life of love and adventure. Lots of gold around. He doesn't care if I work or not, just wants me to be home so I can take care of his parrot while he's earning a living.

But on the other, he has a wooden leg and I worry sometimes about it catching on fire, plus what if we get a dog and the dog chews it up. Sometimes the "thunk, thunk, thunk" of him walking around makes me want to set it on fire, but I think I can get that under control with therapy.

Also, he doesn't live in a SFH in a close in suburb, or even a lovely townhome. He lives on a tall ship. There's plenty of room for me on it too but I worry about school districts. We can move it anywhere, really, but are any good schools in close distance to a marina in the DMV? I don't think we can afford private on his salary.

[Anonymous]

He’s your captain of pleasure!
You’re going to look amazing on a beach in the Caribbean and your kids will be beautiful.

Go!

[Anonymous]

No. When someone shows you who he is, listen. He's not going to help clean the ship or take care of the kids. Run now.

[Anonymous]

Could you put a metal leg on your registry? Or get a cat instead of a dog?

Trying to problem solve here.

[Anonymous]

Does he have a lot of gold? Or is he just a government mooch?

[Anonymous]

Some rules and boundaries while he’s ashore

Maybe a felt tip for the leg when he’s home
No rum before 12
Convert loot to usd in port because Safeway doesn’t accept doubloons.
He needs to iron his own puffy shirts
He needs his own mascara and beads for his hair.

[Anonymous]

No, but I would marry someone living in a pineapple under the sea.

[Anonymous]

Aye. But I’m a fan of traditional marriage.

[Anonymous]

Just remember if you file joint tax returns you are equally responsible for his piracy.

[Anonymous]

HAHA! Thanks for the laugh this morning. So many bizarre posts on this site and the posters have no self awareness.

[Anonymous]

Does he have an Ivy degree and is over 6'? Marry him before he is snagged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have a lot of gold? Or is he just a government mooch?

This is OP - and that's a good question. He tells me his gold is tied up in safe investments but he seemed surprisingly upset by the news about SVB. And I see him checking a crypto app like three times an hour and then just muttering, arr, arr, arr, to himself. I ask him what's wrong and he just tells me to never mind, the less I know the better. Honestly I'd rather know less! We eat well, we travel, there's just that infernal thunk thunk thunk that keeps me from being all in. Also I think his parrot hates me. But I will win her over. It's not like you see a hundred thousand threads about troublesome parrots-in-law.

[Anonymous]

Talk to the parrot, tell her you’re not looking to replace her mom and she should think of you as a friend. Just play it cool, maybe you two can bond over cuttle bone shopping, I’m not suggesting trying to buy her love but maybe pick up a little mirror or a cute rope toy for her cage? Having a small trinket from you might help warm her up.

[Anonymous]

I love scrimshaw, so yes.

[Anonymous]

Don't do it. He's always going to be chasing that white whale booty, and you'll never know where you stand.