Practical Advice for the Parents of Rising College Freshman

[Anonymous]

Well the applications have been reviewed and my DC is excited about one of his choices and is about to put a deposit on his choice. So now it is time to think about how we manage the practicalities of his college years. I wecome advice on what parents of a new college Freshman should know such as:

How do we decide which meal plan--set number of meals per week, Flex Dollars, or a combination?
My DC will have personal expenses in addition to tuition., books, room and board--how is reasonable for us to contribute and how should we do so
Should we add our son to a credit card?
How do we continue to get access to his academic performance in real time? And Should we?
What other practical advice would you give us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well the applications have been reviewed and my DC is excited about one of his choices and is about to put a deposit on his choice. So now it is time to think about how we manage the practicalities of his college years. I wecome advice on what parents of a new college Freshman should know such as:

How do we decide which meal plan--set number of meals per week, Flex Dollars, or a combination?
My DC will have personal expenses in addition to tuition., books, room and board--how is reasonable for us to contribute and how should we do so
Should we add our son to a credit card?
How do we continue to get access to his academic performance in real time? And Should we?
What other practical advice would you give us?

I don't think you can, and I don't think you should. Don't get me wrong, my DC is getting ready to leave too and we consider school his primary job and will set a floor for his performace, but outside of asking how things are going and being available to problem solve if there is an issue - we'll just see the report cards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well the applications have been reviewed and my DC is excited about one of his choices and is about to put a deposit on his choice. So now it is time to think about how we manage the practicalities of his college years. I wecome advice on what parents of a new college Freshman should know such as:

How do we decide which meal plan--set number of meals per week, Flex Dollars, or a combination?
My DC will have personal expenses in addition to tuition., books, room and board--how is reasonable for us to contribute and how should we do so
Should we add our son to a credit card?
How do we continue to get access to his academic performance in real time? And Should we?
What other practical advice would you give us?

No, your son should get his own credit card when he turns 18. The Discover IT Card is a good one. He can open his own checking, saving and Venmo accounts too, and should.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well the applications have been reviewed and my DC is excited about one of his choices and is about to put a deposit on his choice. So now it is time to think about how we manage the practicalities of his college years. I wecome advice on what parents of a new college Freshman should know such as:

How do we decide which meal plan--set number of meals per week, Flex Dollars, or a combination?
My DC will have personal expenses in addition to tuition., books, room and board--how is reasonable for us to contribute and how should we do so
Should we add our son to a credit card?
How do we continue to get access to his academic performance in real time? And Should we?
What other practical advice would you give us?

Assuming that finances are not a true issue, I would recommend he work and save up for “fun” money this summer as much as possible. If you can afford it, I would discourage him from working during his first semester. Evaluate after that.

[Anonymous]

Remind him that the consequences for cheating are a lot higher in college than they are in high school.

Always wear a condom.

Avoid the freshman 15–just because there are cookies and ice cream in the dining hall 3x a day doesn’t mean you should eat them everyday.

[Anonymous]

At my son's school he was required as a freshman to be on a particular meal plan. We did not do anything additional as it included dining dollars already. We did give him a credit card. We do not access his grades; he shares that with us anyways. The best advice someone gave me was to plan a stop on the way home from dropping him off. He attends school several hundred miles from home and it was hard for me to leave him knowing that we wouldn't see him until the holidays. We planned an overnight stay on the way home and it made the transition easier. Another thing that I have found helpful was to join the parent FB group for his school - lots of good info there.

[Anonymous]

Most transitions to college are rocky, but for different reasons for different kids. Don’t draw any conclusions about how things are going in the first six weeks. At Thanksgiving (when DC came home for the first time), we heard all kinds of chatter about who was adjusting and who was not and who was talking about transferring. Ignore all that. It’s important to listen and emphasize that 1st semester of college is rarely indicative of the rest of the experience. The message should be give it more time, join clubs and activities and try to meet new people, and immerse yourself in the academics. By 2nd semester, the vast majority of kids start to really settle in. All of DC’s high school friends exhibited the same pattern and now thankfully seem happy. My message to parents of rising college freshmen is be prepared for those first few weeks/months of questioning and perhaps sadness but don’t over-react. Stay connected, be a good listener and remain positive.

[Anonymous]

1) Get your kid to sign the relevant forms. https://massotorrence.com/resources/8-legal-documents-parents-and-college-students-should-sign

2) Get them a credit card but NOT A Debit card.

3) Schedule their medical maintainence appointments with their regular doctors, a year in advance if possible. It is easy to cancel these appointments, but hard to schedule it on short notice. Their holiday breaks are when they should be getting their dental cleaning, vision appointments, dermatologist and full physical etc. Get them vaccinated for flu and boosted for COVID in August. Way before they go to college.

4) Give them access to your Uber account.

5) There are many lists for college dorms on DCUM, so checck the threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well the applications have been reviewed and my DC is excited about one of his choices and is about to put a deposit on his choice. So now it is time to think about how we manage the practicalities of his college years. I wecome advice on what parents of a new college Freshman should know such as:

How do we decide which meal plan--set number of meals per week, Flex Dollars, or a combination?
My DC will have personal expenses in addition to tuition., books, room and board--how is reasonable for us to contribute and how should we do so
Should we add our son to a credit card?
How do we continue to get access to his academic performance in real time? And Should we?
What other practical advice would you give us?

I don't think you can, and I don't think you should. Don't get me wrong, my DC is getting ready to leave too and we consider school his primary job and will set a floor for his performace, but outside of asking how things are going and being available to problem solve if there is an issue - we'll just see the report cards.

I didn't even see report card or grades. They themselves mentioned when getting a good grade in a tough course or not getting what they expected or when they made dean's list. All graduated early or on time and got admitted into top grad schools or got hired by good companies. I think asking to see report cards is micromanaging.

[Anonymous]

*even though i paid for everything but they had some merit scholarships which were tied to keeping 3.0 GPA so guess i knew they are not falling under that.

[Anonymous]

If its a girl, tell her to avoid predatory seniors. If its a boy, tell him to avoid druggies.

[Anonymous]

For poster at 10:24am, curious why credit card but no debit card. We had felt a debit card was a good way to reinforce that they cannot spend what they do not have. (do think a credit card is important at some point too to build a history)

[Anonymous]

Choice of food plans will vary by school. Some schools mandate certain plans, some schools have great food (Bowdoin College for example), while others do not. Some schools offer easy access to off-campus dining/food delivery, while others do not.

[Anonymous]

Credit or Debit? Our daughter is fine with a debit card. She worked the summer before her freshman year and that was her spending money for the year. She overspent in the first semester and had to cut back in the 2nd semester, but it was a valuable lesson in budgeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1) Get your kid to sign the relevant forms. https://massotorrence.com/resources/8-legal-documents-parents-and-college-students-should-sign

2) Get them a credit card but NOT A Debit card.

3) Schedule their medical maintainence appointments with their regular doctors, a year in advance if possible. It is easy to cancel these appointments, but hard to schedule it on short notice. Their holiday breaks are when they should be getting their dental cleaning, vision appointments, dermatologist and full physical etc. Get them vaccinated for flu and boosted for COVID in August. Way before they go to college.

4) Give them access to your Uber account.

5) There are many lists for college dorms on DCUM, so checck the threads.

Um this is not something you can control at that age. Also should have their own Uber account.