Explaining to a 2 year old where is brother is…

[Anonymous]

My DS 2 has started questioning everything! Whenever his brother my SS 5 is at his moms house my DS is constantly asking about him. I tried explaining to him that his brother has two homes and he is now at his other home. He just replies with this is home. I’ve told him his brother has another mom ( my SS started calling me mom when my DS came home from the hospital) but he just points to me and says mami. Whenever SS is alway my DS constantly cries for his brother and it breaks my heart, i dont know how to get him to understand the dynamics of our blended family. Maybe you guys can help.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t care where he is. Stop explaining that. He cares when he’s coming back. Three night sleeps and two naps? After going to the playground four times?

[Anonymous]

"He's at his other house. He'll be back in 3 days." Toddlers ask where daddy is, where grandma is, where My Little Pony is....don't over think it because it's a blended family. They're learning that things go away and then come back.

[Anonymous]

Stop explaining and just focus on validating his feelings. Also you might have something special you two do together when you are missing brother. Look at a photo album of pictures, watch a particular movie, etc.

[Anonymous]

Maybe "lets make a special picture to give to Larlo when he comes back"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t care where he is. Stop explaining that. He cares when he’s coming back. Three night sleeps and two naps? After going to the playground four times?

Thing is he actually does. When we say he’s at school or anywhere else he stops asking for him. When he wakes up and doesn’t see his brother he asks where he is. When he say other moms house he doesn’t understand and continues to ask for him. I’m thinking maybe we should just say school and he’ll be back in a little?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop explaining and just focus on validating his feelings. Also you might have something special you two do together when you are missing brother. Look at a photo album of pictures, watch a particular movie, etc.

That’s is golden, I haven’t thought of doing someone special for brother when he misses him. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Something*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t care where he is. Stop explaining that. He cares when he’s coming back. Three night sleeps and two naps? After going to the playground four times?

Thing is he actually does. When we say he’s at school or anywhere else he stops asking for him. When he wakes up and doesn’t see his brother he asks where he is. When he say other moms house he doesn’t understand and continues to ask for him. I’m thinking maybe we should just say school and he’ll be back in a little?

Maybe show him a picture of mom's house, and brother's room there. School is a logical and concrete place for him. "His mom's house" is not.

[Anonymous]

Had the 2 yo ever met the brothers mom? "He's at Larla's" house. Might seem weird to you, but it's their "normal", so keep it normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t care where he is. Stop explaining that. He cares when he’s coming back. Three night sleeps and two naps? After going to the playground four times?

Thing is he actually does. When we say he’s at school or anywhere else he stops asking for him. When he wakes up and doesn’t see his brother he asks where he is. When he say other moms house he doesn’t understand and continues to ask for him. I’m thinking maybe we should just say school and he’ll be back in a little?

Maybe show him a picture of mom's house, and brother's room there. School is a logical and concrete place for him. "His mom's house" is not.

This and he also has a better sense of when school is over based on your routines. As someone else suggested, give him a timeframe for when his brother will be back. Make a little calendar and put it on the fridge or his door or something. Cross off each day when he goes to bed. He is more interested in when but location is a more concrete concept than time. (preschool teacher)

[Anonymous]

Is it possible he's worried that at some point HE will be sent to another home/family, and he's stressing on that?

I'd say:

Our family is really special and you and your brother each have a special place in the family. YOU are special because you have me and (whatever other parents) just for you, and no other parents! And Larlo is special because he has me, and (other parent) and step-parents for parents! You guys are each special in a different way, and that means that sometimes Larlo gets to go and stay with [step-parents], and sometimes you get to stay here and have us all to yourself!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t care where he is. Stop explaining that. He cares when he’s coming back. Three night sleeps and two naps? After going to the playground four times?

Thing is he actually does. When we say he’s at school or anywhere else he stops asking for him. When he wakes up and doesn’t see his brother he asks where he is. When he say other moms house he doesn’t understand and continues to ask for him. I’m thinking maybe we should just say school and he’ll be back in a little?

Can you take him to SS other house so he can see it and also meet other mom,? It's wonderful that they love each other so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible he's worried that at some point HE will be sent to another home/family, and he's stressing on that?

I'd say:

Our family is really special and you and your brother each have a special place in the family. YOU are special because you have me and (whatever other parents) just for you, and no other parents! And Larlo is special because he has me, and (other parent) and step-parents for parents! You guys are each special in a different way, and that means that sometimes Larlo gets to go and stay with [step-parents], and sometimes you get to stay here and have us all to yourself!

Way too confusing. I got lost in this family/,family/family maze!

[Anonymous]

Wow your husband moved on quickly!