WWYD if your go-to friend was kind of snappy with you?

[Anonymous]

If you have a friend that you are always going to with your anxiety, concerns and problems starts getting a little snappy and withdrawn, what would you do?

[Anonymous]

Stop talking so much and don’t try to fix their problems, just try to listen.

[Anonymous]

I would get a therapist and stop offloading my problems on a friend. Do you really not understand why someone would be over you constantly saddling them with your issues?

[Anonymous]

(1) Ask if they were okay or had anything on their mind. Listen.
(2) Stop dumping my problems on them for a while. Ask myself how often I took my problems to them and how often I shared the burden of theirs.
(3) Cut them some slack because everyone has a bad day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(1) Ask if they were okay or had anything on their mind. Listen.
(2) Stop dumping my problems on them for a while. Ask myself how often I took my problems to them and how often I shared the burden of theirs.
(3) Cut them some slack because everyone has a bad day.

#2!!!! Why do you have a ‘go to friend’ for all your problems?! Do you think they’ve been placed on this Earth to personally absorb your anxiety, concerns and problems?!

[Anonymous]

I would assume the person has a lot going on and I would ask if I have overstepped my boundary and if there is anything I can do. I would also get a therapist. I really don't dump it all on friends. I am selective and dump with friends in the same boat so we co-dump and support eachother.

[Anonymous]

Omg this has be a joke right? Clearly she’s snappy because she’s tired of listening to you. Apologize and pay a therapist.

[Anonymous]

It’s time for a therapist. Everyone has their own issues and even the best of friends cannot always be there for someone else’s personal issues.

[Anonymous]

Take her out for a coffee or meal, do not talk about your problems. Ask about how she is doing. Have fun. Have one time where you focus on her rather than your problems.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I'm the friend who is being "snappy". My friend is constantly dumping all of her issues on me and I finally (with DCUM's help) ignored her while I was having a gathering at my home. She kept texting and calling and I didn't reply. At the end of the night, before I went to bed I simply replied a 3 word response. She seemed to be trying to bait me into an argument.

At the end of it, this morning she texted again and said that she was simply looking for validation and I was being cold. I said "okay". Now she hasn't texted all day.

I asked you all the WWYD because I was thinking that maybe her default is to just ghost me... which at this point might not be the worst thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(1) Ask if they were okay or had anything on their mind. Listen.
(2) Stop dumping my problems on them for a while. Ask myself how often I took my problems to them and how often I shared the burden of theirs.
(3) Cut them some slack because everyone has a bad day.

This. And get a therapist. Even the best friends get tired of it when it’s all you think about and talk about after awhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would get a therapist and stop offloading my problems on a friend. Do you really not understand why someone would be over you constantly saddling them with your issues?

Yep, the bolded. Nobody wants to constantly listen to people complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I'm the friend who is being "snappy". My friend is constantly dumping all of her issues on me and I finally (with DCUM's help) ignored her while I was having a gathering at my home. She kept texting and calling and I didn't reply. At the end of the night, before I went to bed I simply replied a 3 word response. She seemed to be trying to bait me into an argument.

At the end of it, this morning she texted again and said that she was simply looking for validation and I was being cold. I said "okay". Now she hasn't texted all day.

I asked you all the WWYD because I was thinking that maybe her default is to just ghost me... which at this point might not be the worst thing.

Why not be honest with her. Tell her you you feel like she only dumps her problems on you And treats you more like a therapist than a friend.

[Anonymous]

Why are you playing mind games with her?

Just be an adult and tell her the issue and your boundaries. No need for your immature nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Op here:

Last night, I was hosting a dinner party. She knew this and kept calling me. I answered her right before and said I had to go as guests were arriving. After an hour, she had texted me over 30 times and called me 4. I had ignored them all, mainly because I was busy and not next to my phone. The boundary was “I have people coming over and I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. Not sure why I have to keep telling her that. If my friend was hosting a bunch of guests, I wouldn’t keep texting because it would be understood that they aren’t going to be available.