Why is there a greater stigma toward men who live with their parents than there is toward women?

[Anonymous]

Seems sexist if you ask me.

[Anonymous]

Agreed, it does seem sexist. Probably related to how traditional gender roles expect a man to be able to provide for his family.

When I met my wife she was living with her parents and I had no problem with it.

[Anonymous]

Because when men live at home there is a greater likelihood that their parents are caring for them by doing things like laundry, cleaning, etc. Plus women are more concerned about men being financially viable as partners and living at home can be a sign of not having enough money.

When I lived with my parents as a woman for brief periods of time, I was doing my laundry and theirs, grocery shopping, letting the plumber in. Later when they got sicker I was caring for them and the house.

A man living at home can be a sign that he doesn’t know how to care for himself either financially or logistically.

[Anonymous]

Because it raises red flags on three of the most common indicators that a man is not suitable for marriage:

1. Can’t afford his own living expenses/did something irresponsible financially and so now is back with mom and dad.

2. Can’t do household tasks and so will expect a partner to cook and clean for them.

3. Has an unhealthy degree of enmeshment and there will be in-law problems.


None of this says every man living with his parents has all of these issues, but in a world where everyone is assessed online, many women are not going to waste time making sure they won’t be expected to live with their in laws or iron their potential spouses shirts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it raises red flags on three of the most common indicators that a man is not suitable for marriage:

1. Can’t afford his own living expenses/did something irresponsible financially and so now is back with mom and dad.

2. Can’t do household tasks and so will expect a partner to cook and clean for them.

3. Has an unhealthy degree of enmeshment and there will be in-law problems.


None of this says every man living with his parents has all of these issues, but in a world where everyone is assessed online, many women are not going to waste time making sure they won’t be expected to live with their in laws or iron their potential spouses shirts.

Don't men say the same thing about high body count in women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it raises red flags on three of the most common indicators that a man is not suitable for marriage:

1. Can’t afford his own living expenses/did something irresponsible financially and so now is back with mom and dad.

2. Can’t do household tasks and so will expect a partner to cook and clean for them.

3. Has an unhealthy degree of enmeshment and there will be in-law problems.


None of this says every man living with his parents has all of these issues, but in a world where everyone is assessed online, many women are not going to waste time making sure they won’t be expected to live with their in laws or iron their potential spouses shirts.

Don't men say the same thing about high body count in women?

Aren’t men making decisions based on limited information and trying to avoid red flags? Yes probably?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it raises red flags on three of the most common indicators that a man is not suitable for marriage:

1. Can’t afford his own living expenses/did something irresponsible financially and so now is back with mom and dad.

2. Can’t do household tasks and so will expect a partner to cook and clean for them.

3. Has an unhealthy degree of enmeshment and there will be in-law problems.


None of this says every man living with his parents has all of these issues, but in a world where everyone is assessed online, many women are not going to waste time making sure they won’t be expected to live with their in laws or iron their potential spouses shirts.

Don't men say the same thing about high body count in women?

Aren’t men making decisions based on limited information and trying to avoid red flags? Yes probably?

Both stigmas are fine, and not sexist. People are allowed to have discriminating mating standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed, it does seem sexist. Probably related to how traditional gender roles expect a man to be able to provide for his family.

When I met my wife she was living with her parents and I had no problem with it.

+1 My DH was living with his parents when we met (he was 26). I didn't have a problem with it since he was gainfully employed and was saving money.

[Anonymous]

Why is this in the relationship forum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this in the relationship forum?

Because it comes up in dating?

[Anonymous]

What anyone thinks about a situation says more about them than it says about the other person.If somebody doesn't have the heart to find out why something is the way it is and then decide it means they are so rigid in their thinking and acting that you might as well date a robot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seems sexist if you ask me.

It’s absolutely rooted in gendered expectation that a man is a provider. First for himself, then for his family.
And if he can’t demonstrate he can first support himself, then he is unlikely to attract a partner.

This trait may also be unattractive in women to some men, but not to all.

[Anonymous]

NO both are equally sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO both are equally sad.

+1. I'd hold this against a woman too.

[Anonymous]

I tried to give it a benefit of doubt and dated men who lived with parents or friends in their 40s and 50s. I have my own home. It ended with then mooching off me always having overnights at my place , dinners at my place, being cheap taking me out and so on. Since then I expect a man to have own private place to meet. If he doesn’t live alone, he rents a hotel every other week for two of us have private if he saves money living with parents or roommates. I pay mortgage - he’s not saving his dating costs at my expense