Should I just leave it now?

[Anonymous]

Was close to a co worker who was very loyal to me at work.
She has chronic health issues and yet was fantastic at work so an inspiration to me.
I quit my role to start something new which I start this week. I had 2 weeks off. She was still working and said that during her lunch hour could she come and deliver a card to my house. She said she would post it if I was busy. I said it would be lovely to see her and text me when on way to my house. Unfortunately on the day, I was still asleep when her text came through on the phone. I was exhausted and although it was 11.15AM, I was still sleeping. She posted the card but did not try calling.
I texted her to thank her for the card and asked 'Why did you not phone me?' She replied saying saying she didn't want to disturb me. I now have heard nothing else from her in weeks. Should I just assume she doesn't want the friendship anymore?

[Anonymous]

No. Reach out to her. Maybe thank her again and express your high regard for her, and thank her for her support and mentorship. If all you said was basically “thanks for the card, why didn’t you call?” then I can understand her not being inclined to reach out again.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
I did say she could visit again in the week while I was still off work but she did not respond, only “liked” the message which you can do on a Iphone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Reach out to her. Maybe thank her again and express your high regard for her, and thank her for her support and mentorship. If all you said was basically “thanks for the card, why didn’t you call?” then I can understand her not being inclined to reach out again.

I agree. Keep reaching out and stay in touch.

[Anonymous]

OP here and I just don't know.
Surely she would have come back and visited me this week if she wanted to be in touch still?

[Anonymous]

Why don't you offer to go visit her? Have lunch in her neighborhood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I just don't know.
Surely she would have come back and visited me this week if she wanted to be in touch still?

Maybe she was unexpectedly busy that week, just like you were unexpectedly tired that day. What is the harm in trying a few more times? I don’t understand your reluctance or your thoughts that the friendship might be over due to these very innocuous events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I just don't know.
Surely she would have come back and visited me this week if she wanted to be in touch still?

Why not ask to meet her somewhere for lunch instead of insisting she meet you at your house? I think it's strange that you insist she come to your house when an outing can be more socially stimulating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I just don't know.
Surely she would have come back and visited me this week if she wanted to be in touch still?

Why not ask to meet her somewhere for lunch instead of insisting she meet you at your house? I think it's strange that you insist she come to your house when an outing can be more socially stimulating.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here and I just don't know.
Surely she would have come back and visited me this week if she wanted to be in touch still?

DP. SHE has chronic health issues, yet you’re expecting her to do all of the heavy lifting? She gave up her lunch hour to come to you, and you slept through that. You don’t seem to have apologized to her for her wasted efforts. Why would she want to do this routine again? You’re not offering her much in the way of friendship. If you want to maintain a friendship with her, it really is on you to reach out to her, and make an effort to meet in a neutral place or one that’s easier for her.

Surely you would have apologized to her and made some effort to arrange a meet up convenient for both of you — if you wanted to maintain a positive relationship with her.

[Anonymous]

I think she is pissed about the other day when I was not ready to meet her as I had fallen back to sleep. I did ask her to come visit after work but she couldn't, then as I said, haven't heard from her since.
Can't meet at hers as she is temporarily living with family. I suggested my house as it's close to the workplace.

[Anonymous]

Offer to meet her for lunch or coffee near the office. Have her pick the day it’s easiest to slip out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she is pissed about the other day when I was not ready to meet her as I had fallen back to sleep. I did ask her to come visit after work but she couldn't, then as I said, haven't heard from her since.
Can't meet at hers as she is temporarily living with family. I suggested my house as it's close to the workplace.

So, you flaked on her and then expected her to come back to your place? Listen to yourself. You are rude and inconsiderate. At the very least, after standing her up, YOU should have volunteered to meet her somewhere that was convenient for her, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think she is pissed about the other day when I was not ready to meet her as I had fallen back to sleep. I did ask her to come visit after work but she couldn't, then as I said, haven't heard from her since.
Can't meet at hers as she is temporarily living with family. I suggested my house as it's close to the workplace.

So, you flaked on her and then expected her to come back to your place? Listen to yourself. You are rude and inconsiderate. At the very least, after standing her up, YOU should have volunteered to meet her somewhere that was convenient for her, not you.

+1. And who is still asleep at 11:15am unless you work a night shift?

[Anonymous]

I was exhausted.
I think she feels I faked it and hadn't really wanted her to come round.
She had left me a card wishing me good luck for my new job role which I found when I came downstairs.
Straight after, I contacted her saying to come and visit me or call. But she never did come back and said her call function isn't working but also that she didn't want to call anyway as she felt it might disturb me. I made it clear I wanted to see her. It was a shame I couldn't see her at lunch but in my defence, she was sent on a very early lunch to what what is normally.