Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
| Your DH is from a family of 12? |
Anonymous
|
Best DCUM thread ever!
OK, I'll give it up: Sam Evan Lily Hit me with your best shot! |
Anonymous
Jaelynn was an oops pregnancy your senior year of high school. You graduated pregnant, had him in the summer, and then did two years of community college. His dad is a loser who peaked in high school. Last you heard he was in jail for meth production. You are from the south, non-urban, and moved here for a job opportunity with the federal government. You met your DH at work, he was the tech guy in the office. Very introverted and you drew him out of his shell. Jarrett and Ella are biracial. You live in Silver Spring and are so grateful you escaped your no-name town. You love that your DH is an intellectual. |
Anonymous
Gahhh, I want to reserve this, because my client is here. Can I do that?! Will get to it in 2 hours, max. |
Anonymous
Who cares? We're having fun; if you're not, go have a mojito. |
Anonymous
|
Xavier
Xaden |
Anonymous
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Dylan
Catherine |
Anonymous
No, this is just mean. The one where mom worked at the Pizza Hut and married her HS boyfriend was funnier and more interesting. Loved that Kayla is mom's least favorite kid. |
Anonymous
You had Sam and Evan without any difficulty and love them both dearly, but you were determined to have a girl so you put your name in the hat to adopt from China. And then you waited and waited and waited. When you finally got that wonderful referral, Sam was in high school and Evan was in middle school. You had forgotten what it was like to change diapers on very little sleep while also dealing with the bundle of issues that come with international adoptions. Your sweet, Lily, is a fierce and fiery toddler who keeps all of you alternating between adoration and bewilderment. You now juggle soccer tournaments with play groups and therapy sessions. You can't remember the last time you had sex with your husband and you find yourself forgetting important dates and familiar names. You are parenting a very different child at a very different stage of life and it all feels out of whack, but you can't admit that to anyone because you have plastered on a joyful smile while popping in another annoying children's cd. All will eventually settle down and you will sleep again and Lily will lead a fairly happy life and your boys will be proud of their multicultural family and your husband will be relieved to have you hold his hand again. |
Anonymous
This is a pretty darned good description of a friend of mine whose son is named Sam. He grew up into a fine young man; he's going to a top law school in the fall. His mom remarried -- to a colleague -- and they're very happy. She fulfilled a long-time dream of hers by changing careers. When this becomes a Lifetime movie-of-the-week Sela Ward is going to play mom. |
Anonymous
Just this last bit is right but I do LOVE fancy butter. |
Anonymous
Dylan and Catherine both attend the Waldorf School. You love the focus on nature and encouraging curiosity, but you secretly let them watch T.V. Your husband is a runner and has recently begun training for a marathon. You miss waking up with him next to you in bed each morning, but you are enjoying the look and feel of his newly defined abs. You do a fair amount of shopping in consignment and thrift shops even though you can afford to buy things at full cost. You like the thrill of finding something good in under heaps of stained knits and abandoned knitting projects. You have gone through various crafting stages including crocheting, felting, scrapbooking, and jewelry making. You used to belong to a CSA since so many of the other Waldorf families do that, but it just ended up being a major waste of uneaten and wilted vegetables. You would have thrown it into your compost pile, but you keep forgetting to do that. Perhaps you should leave a post it note on the garbage can to remind yourself to put the scraps in the compost pile. You have a post it note on your bathroom mirror to remind yourself to floss your teeth. Sometimes that works. You occasionally shop at the Bethesda Farmer's Market, but then then you end feeling angry because it is just so darn expensive and you wish there was a thrift store for produce. Your husband thinks your various phases of interests are amusing and he generally goes along with them, but he did not support your idea to replace the guest room toliet with a composting toliet. Your in-laws were grateful for his protest. Your children are occasionally embarrassed by your clothing choices, but are primarily focused on their own interests and pursuits like slack-lining and writing poetry. |
Anonymous
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Phoebe
Phaedra Thaddeus Margaux |
Anonymous
Actually, Jessica went out with my DS's freshman roommate, and the way I heard it, SHE broke up with him right before his first set of mid-terms. DS called me, "Mom, what do I do? He's crying." Over Christmas vacation, she dumped a huge pile of photos, dried-out corsages, stuffed animals, etc., onto his front lawn. Ever since DS got home from school he's gotten at least one text a day from the roommate agonizing over whether he should get back together with her. DS always resonds the same way: "F*&% no, man. She's a crazy, control freak b*&%." |
Anonymous
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Katherine
Anne Margaret Jane |