No grandchildren

[Anonymous]

I don't think I'll have any and I have 4 adult children. I imagine I'll need to grieve over the fact. It's not my kids' jobs to have children for me to enjoy.
And it's no one's business why they're not having any.
However, I thought my life would look a little different. We still have a big life that we enjoy. But, I thought it would include grandchildren.
Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

My aunt and uncle are going through the same thing. One child doesn't want kids, the other has been having trouble conceiving for years. But they do take advantage of a child-free family--fun vacations, nice dinners out, etc.

They are also wonderful "second" grandparents to my kids. Do you have grand nieces/nephews who you can spend time with? Or even neighbors who don't have family here? My kids love my aunt and uncle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aunt and uncle are going through the same thing. One child doesn't want kids, the other has been having trouble conceiving for years. But they do take advantage of a child-free family--fun vacations, nice dinners out, etc.

They are also wonderful "second" grandparents to my kids. Do you have grand nieces/nephews who you can spend time with? Or even neighbors who don't have family here? My kids love my aunt and uncle.

thanks for responding. They are the oldest grandchildren on both sides so we don't have any other grands we could spoil. And we live far away from them anyway.
We do enjoy the child free vacations where we stay up late and don't have to put anyone to bed or be quiet.

[Anonymous]

I have 6 maternal aunts and uncles in their late 70s, and so far only one cousin who has kids apart from me. One is pregnant, and her father is in his 80s and her mother is very ill. I hope they'll enjoy their grandchild a little before passing on.

It's all these adults having kids really late. If their parents had them late too, they might not live to see their grandkids.

[Anonymous]

One of my aunt's friends seems to have adopted my kids as surrogate grandkids because her children are not interested in having children (yet or possibly at all). As the recipient of this, I love it! But it does suck for her, since she'd clearly be such an excellent grandparent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I'll have any and I have 4 adult children. I imagine I'll need to grieve over the fact. It's not my kids' jobs to have children for me to enjoy.
And it's no one's business why they're not having any.
However, I thought my life would look a little different. We still have a big life that we enjoy. But, I thought it would include grandchildren.
Anyone else?

Yes, we have 3 grown kids and we don't believe we will have any grandkids in our future. We have mixed feelings about it but our feelings don't matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I'll have any and I have 4 adult children. I imagine I'll need to grieve over the fact. It's not my kids' jobs to have children for me to enjoy.
And it's no one's business why they're not having any.
However, I thought my life would look a little different. We still have a big life that we enjoy. But, I thought it would include grandchildren.
Anyone else?

Yes, we have 3 grown kids and we don't believe we will have any grandkids in our future. We have mixed feelings about it but our feelings don't matter.

OP here - I think our feelings do matter. I will grieve this as my life is turning out differently than imagined. Yet, it's no one else's responsibility to make me a grandparent. It just is. And that's ok. But I will honor my thoughts and feelings about this loss and believe that to be healthy..
at any rate, YMMV

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? People are having kids much later in life especially if they have careers. Your grandkids may still be coming but you need to give it some time. Until all your kids have either said "we're not having kids" or reach mid to late 40s I wouldn't rule it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids? People are having kids much later in life especially if they have careers. Your grandkids may still be coming but you need to give it some time. Until all your kids have either said "we're not having kids" or reach mid to late 40s I wouldn't rule it out.

ages 33 (she's married) and 31 - have said no kids
age 34 - she is not dating and doesn't want to but does talk about children at some point. Thinking about freezing eggs but has no money to do it. She just bought a house.
age 35 - he would like to be in a relationship and have kids but it doesn't appear to be happening, or at least it is casually.

so I guess it COULD happen later, but I think the odds are not good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I'll have any and I have 4 adult children. I imagine I'll need to grieve over the fact. It's not my kids' jobs to have children for me to enjoy.
And it's no one's business why they're not having any.
However, I thought my life would look a little different. We still have a big life that we enjoy. But, I thought it would include grandchildren.
Anyone else?

Yes, we have 3 grown kids and we don't believe we will have any grandkids in our future. We have mixed feelings about it but our feelings don't matter.

OP here - I think our feelings do matter. I will grieve this as my life is turning out differently than imagined. Yet, it's no one else's responsibility to make me a grandparent. It just is. And that's ok. But I will honor my thoughts and feelings about this loss and believe that to be healthy..
at any rate, YMMV

I meant our feelings don't matter in terms of having/not having grandkids. It's not like we can force them to have kids. It is their choice, not ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids? People are having kids much later in life especially if they have careers. Your grandkids may still be coming but you need to give it some time. Until all your kids have either said "we're not having kids" or reach mid to late 40s I wouldn't rule it out.

ages 33 (she's married) and 31 - have said no kids
age 34 - she is not dating and doesn't want to but does talk about children at some point. Thinking about freezing eggs but has no money to do it. She just bought a house.
age 35 - he would like to be in a relationship and have kids but it doesn't appear to be happening, or at least it is casually.

so I guess it COULD happen later, but I think the odds are not good.

that's 3 kids, not 4. what about the 4th?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I'll have any and I have 4 adult children. I imagine I'll need to grieve over the fact. It's not my kids' jobs to have children for me to enjoy.
And it's no one's business why they're not having any.
However, I thought my life would look a little different. We still have a big life that we enjoy. But, I thought it would include grandchildren.
Anyone else?

Yes, we have 3 grown kids and we don't believe we will have any grandkids in our future. We have mixed feelings about it but our feelings don't matter.

OP here - I think our feelings do matter. I will grieve this as my life is turning out differently than imagined. Yet, it's no one else's responsibility to make me a grandparent. It just is. And that's ok. But I will honor my thoughts and feelings about this loss and believe that to be healthy..
at any rate, YMMV

I meant our feelings don't matter in terms of having/not having grandkids. It's not like we can force them to have kids. It is their choice, not ours.

yes I believe I said that in my original post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think I'll have any and I have 4 adult children. I imagine I'll need to grieve over the fact. It's not my kids' jobs to have children for me to enjoy.
And it's no one's business why they're not having any.
However, I thought my life would look a little different. We still have a big life that we enjoy. But, I thought it would include grandchildren.
Anyone else?

Yes, we have 3 grown kids and we don't believe we will have any grandkids in our future. We have mixed feelings about it but our feelings don't matter.

OP here - I think our feelings do matter. I will grieve this as my life is turning out differently than imagined. Yet, it's no one else's responsibility to make me a grandparent. It just is. And that's ok. But I will honor my thoughts and feelings about this loss and believe that to be healthy..
at any rate, YMMV

End of the day, it's not about your feelings though.

[Anonymous]

You have another decade until you can say they aren't having kids. A lot of men don't have kids until 40 and there were A LOT of 37 year old first time moms in my local moms group. I'm not sure why, but 37 seemed a really popular age?

But I am sorry for you OP. I have 3 kids and something I definitely thought about was that I was hoping it would make my odds of grandkids higher. None of our siblings have had kids or will ever have kids, so I'm even a bit bummed about no cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids? People are having kids much later in life especially if they have careers. Your grandkids may still be coming but you need to give it some time. Until all your kids have either said "we're not having kids" or reach mid to late 40s I wouldn't rule it out.

ages 33 (she's married) and 31 - have said no kids
age 34 - she is not dating and doesn't want to but does talk about children at some point. Thinking about freezing eggs but has no money to do it. She just bought a house.
age 35 - he would like to be in a relationship and have kids but it doesn't appear to be happening, or at least it is casually.

so I guess it COULD happen later, but I think the odds are not good.

that's 3 kids, not 4. what about the 4th?

+1. Maybe 3 kids PP thought the question was for her