15 year old got period and being influenced by the many “I’m sick and can’t function on period”
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Anonymous
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Daughter 15 bday today! Yeah! And got her period. Exciting and mixed emotions for her. However the message I gave her was that it’s exciting time and life moment but having period shouldn’t change your day to day. You can swim, laugh, cheer all the usual stuff.
She got super upset and said I don’t understand. I see this so often especially thnx to social media- teens how act like life stops and they are “sick” for a week ewxh Month. I told her there’s no reason to believe she’ll have any problems and I’m here to help. But how can I avoid playing into that period nonsense- while still being understanding. What did most of you do or how did it go when your daughter got period? Mine is a drama Queen - so that is our baseline. |
Anonymous
| Maybe try kindness. I couldn’t do anything for a good 24 hours when I was her age. I was literally sick and throwing up each month. |
Anonymous
| Different people have different experiences. If hers is not big deal, sitting around doing nothing will get old very quickly. But you are dismissing even the possibility that hers may be uncomfortable /unpleasant from the outset, which only means she won’t be comfortable telling you if it’s not as easy as you believe it should be. |
Anonymous
+1and people (especially other women) who try to diminish how bad it can be are the worst. |
Anonymous
| Not everyone’s experience with menstruation is the same, OP. In addition to debilitating cramps, I had frequent diarrhea and vomiting during my periods. I was lucky that our school nurse had the same severe reaction and told my parents that I needed to see a doctor because Midol wasn’t cutting it. |
Anonymous
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With an emotional teen, best just to keep exchanges about sensitive issues short and cheerful. “I am sure you’ll manage, honey, women have been menstruating since time immemorial.” Not a bad idea to take her to donate some period products to a shelter and gain a little perspective. |
Anonymous
| Wait, this is her very first period? If so, maybe give her a minute? My DD got hers at 11 and pretty much rolls with it with no complaints, but she absolutely refuses to try tampons, so when she gets it during the summer, she won’t go to the pool or the beach at all while she has it. That part is frustrating to me because it’s been three years now it sometimes affects the whole family. But whatever, it’s a lot to get used to. Give them time. |
Anonymous
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Because your experience is obviously the only experience.
You shut her down before she even started. Try empathy in addition to kindness. |
Anonymous
This with prescription strength meds not to mention the fear of bleeding everywhere. |
Anonymous
| Maybe she feels like you have toxic positivity. It's OK for her to feel ambivalent or even unwell. |
Anonymous
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I had incredibly long and heavy periods, needed to carry extra large pads, had bad cramps, and became anemic because of them. I most definitely could not swim, and I had to be careful with others sports.
Just because YOU managed your periods fine, doesn’t mean your daughter has the same experience. Female adolescence can be very difficult. Start with compassion, instead of defaulting to “drama queen”. |
Anonymous
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I took an entirely different approach and made an almost non issue about it. It’s part of life. I had a pretty high bar for anyone who claims to be sick or is home sick from school. It’s not generally a fun experience in our house. You are in your room, no screens. (Unless they are truly really sick, then they get full on mothering and movies on the couch if they feel good enough).
What do you usually do when she doesn’t feel well? |
Anonymous
| Sounds like she can’t handle social media. I would give her a warning then she would loose electronics until she is mature enough to handle. We would reevaluate in 3 months. |
Anonymous
+1 I can still remember walking through my high school halls just gushing blood and praying my pad didn’t fail. The first couple of years of periods can be brutal and really heavy for some people. Not unlike how periods often get way heavier in perimenopause. |
Anonymous
| Is she saying she’s feeling sick? Or is the “you don’t understand” more emotional, and she wants some TLC? It’s a part of life, yes but I see nothing wrong with a little extra care and concern today. Maybe her favorite takeout or ice cream/chocolate… |