Second date or no?
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Anonymous
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Met a guy on OLD. Went out for 1st date last night. Drinks turned into dinner and we chatted for about 3 hours. From an appearance standpoint, the idea of sleeping with him doesn't repulse me. So in short, everything was fine. Until the end when he didn't walk me to my car at 11 at night. He was parked in a different floor of the garage and hugged me good bye in the elevator.
My thoughts this morning---if he can't be bothered to walk me to my car after a nice first date, it's probably not something that's important to him. Is it really important to me? Did I not feel safe walking to my car? The answer to both of those is no but I wanted/expected the gesture. The second thought is Roy telling Rebecca she deserves better than fine. Yes I know that is fiction and what happens on tv doesn't always exist in reality. The date was fine. He was pleasant to talk with. But there was no spark. This morning I'm rather ambivalent about seeing him again. Given a choice, I'd have a hard time picking between going out with him on an evening or staying home by myself and watching tv. What say you DCUM? Are my expectations for the gesture too high, not realistic? Is fine good enough or am I supposed to feel excited about seeing someone again? He's already asked to go out again. I haven't responded yet. |
Anonymous
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I’d pass on date #2.
You want, and deserve, to date someone more gentlemanly than this schmuck. |
Anonymous
| You don't sound attracted to him and he didn't walk you to your car. It's fine not to go out with him again. |
Anonymous
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The converse of this post would be:
“he wanted to walk me to my car! How creepy/forward/patronizing is that ?!? “ - and you’d get the same supportive response here on DCUMAD if you posted it; “yes creepy; no second date!” |
Anonymous
| You could communicate that you like being walked to your car. I didn’t feel any sparks until 3rd date with my now 10 year DH. |
Anonymous
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As always, if you don’t like him (as you don’t) either decusion would have been the wrong one.
Don’t waste his time. |
Anonymous
DP. You are right. Either way, it's a risk men have to take. I'm not dating one who does not atleast offer to walk me to my car that late in the night. OP, move on to the next gentleman. Thus one is not it Additionally, I wouldn't go on late first or second dates. These create awkward situations. I would feel compelled to offer him a ride to his car after he walked me. I'd rather not be in the position to offer a ride to someone I am meeting for the first time. My first few dates where usually coffee, lunch, museums etc Bar/ dinner dates only occurred if I had a friend with me( and the guy had one too) |
Anonymous
This. Gonna be a long road for you. |
Anonymous
| I know some people think is a cardinal sin, but I don't think he did anything wrong. However, you're entitled to your preferences, so if you prefer a more protective, traditional type of guy, this one may not be for you. |
Anonymous
| Who are Roy and Rebecca? |
Anonymous
| You’ve only been out with him once and you’re already overthinking about things you don’t like about him. Why not let him go, and save yourself the aggravation of having to come up with other reasons to call it off later. |
Anonymous
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Was the garage in a relatively safe location and fairly small or a huge one? It could be he thought you were good. And he is after all a stranger who might think it would make you uncomfortable.
The other poster makes a good point about your next date whether with him or not should be in the afternoon |
Anonymous
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Yeah I would have HATED him walking me to my car - like he is trying to prolong the date, trying to get invited back to my place. I already said goodby, so goodbye!!
- 40 yo female |
Anonymous
You know the answer 
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Anonymous
That’s your interpretation of the gesture and you don’t really know what they’re thinking. OP, perhaps his last date told him she hated being walked to her car 🤷♀️ |