How many times am I going to get burned by my parents

[Anonymous]

My parents moved across the country to a house ten minutes away after we had our first kid three years ago. We've since had two more kids, last one two weeks ago. My parents have a habit of saying they want to help and then flaking. That's fine, we don't ever depend on them for childcare and whenever we see them or they help with the kids we consider it a nice surprise. Sometimes though, it does get to me and I get upset. My dad hasn't met the new baby yet, my mom has been over a few times but didn't help just saw the baby for a few minutes and left. This week they offered to take our oldest for the day, she was very excited because she loves her grandparents and they give her ice cream and let her watch tv all day (we don't care and have never criticized this). Well this morning I texted them to say what time we'd drop her off and suddenly they're busy with house stuff all day. This was after offering all week, saying how much they wanted to help etc. Daughter is sad, and the day we thought we'd have with the baby and middle kid is shot.

I know the key to this is rock bottom expectations but it's still shitty being disappointed by them.

[Anonymous]

I should add, they are retired and these are their only grandkids.

[Anonymous]

I'd probably say something to them like, "Larla was really looking forward to spending time with you today and is sad. What should I tell her?" And then never mention the plans to the kids again...that way if they flake the kids don't get upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd probably say something to them like, "Larla was really looking forward to spending time with you today and is sad. What should I tell her?" And then never mention the plans to the kids again...that way if they flake the kids don't get upset.

100% this

[Anonymous]

From now on, don’t ever tell your kids ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Did she mention it to your daughter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From now on, don’t ever tell your kids ahead of time.

This is OP. I get this and try to, but it was literally "hey let's get dressed we're going over to nanas house". How sad I can't tell my kids until we're in the car.

[Anonymous]

Stop texting when you leave. Just show up. If your mother wants to cancel, let her tell her grandchild in person.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. They don't get to behave like this. Next time they suggest ANY plan with your DCs, remind them how disappointed Larla was last time when they canceled the morning of, and tell them you're unable to make plans with them. They have to have consequences or they will not learn or improve.

[Anonymous]

Why did they move?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did they move?

Haha my husband asks this all the time. Supposedly to be close to us!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From now on, don’t ever tell your kids ahead of time.

This is OP. I get this and try to, but it was literally "hey let's get dressed we're going over to nanas house". How sad I can't tell my kids until we're in the car.

Sure it’s sad. But so is a lot of stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From now on, don’t ever tell your kids ahead of time.

This is OP. I get this and try to, but it was literally "hey let's get dressed we're going over to nanas house". How sad I can't tell my kids until we're in the car.

DP. There is a middle ground on this where you text your parents to confirm before you tell your kids "hey let's get dressed we're going over to nanas house" instead of waiting until you're about to get into the car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:From now on, don’t ever tell your kids ahead of time.

This is OP. I get this and try to, but it was literally "hey let's get dressed we're going over to nanas house". How sad I can't tell my kids until we're in the car.

Sure it’s sad. But so is a lot of stuff.

Yes, it’s sad how PP needs attention with pointless posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry. They don't get to behave like this. Next time they suggest ANY plan with your DCs, remind them how disappointed Larla was last time when they canceled the morning of, and tell them you're unable to make plans with them. They have to have consequences or they will not learn or improve.

This is absurd