HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't you people know that once you have the first drink, your ability to make rational decisions goes down with each drink? Is this rocket science?

Bingo. Which is why the adult who knew what was going on, had a moral obligation to make sure these kids got home safely.
It's on him, IMO.
Morally, if not legally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't you people know that once you have the first drink, your ability to make rational decisions goes down with each drink? Is this rocket science?

Bingo. Which is why the adult who knew what was going on, had a moral obligation to make sure these kids got home safely.
It's on him, IMO.
Morally, if not legally.

Thank you. You nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a law on the books before you can charge and prosecute crimes. Come on people, this is an emotional issue, but please put your thinking caps on. Anyone knowledgeable of the Maryland Code would be useful now.

If no one died I can see how without a law, no crime for hosting Dad. However people died because of his actions. Can they not file involuntary manslaughter charges?

Do you know the legal elements to the crime of involuntary manslaughter in Maryland? That would be a place to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/potomac/2015/09/21/family-n-potomac-crash-victim-releases-statement/72583840/

I'm not sure how I feel with this statement. I agree with most of it, especially that the host parent should be held criminally responsible. However, their child wasn't doing right either. It feels like they are blaming everyone else, without admitting that their son was drinking underage.

I agree that it wasn't acknowledged in their latest statement, but you can see both of them responded to the following blog post and they most definitely recognize that their son made poor choices that night...

http://evvastarr.com/1/post/2015/07/i-make-this-oath.html#comments

Thank you for sharing this, I imagine mostly from the Wootton community.
It gives me hope for tomorrow for the first time in the 73 pages of this thread. Again, my most sincere gratitude from the bottom of my heart, as these problems are getting worse in most of our communities.

Wouldn't it be amazing if every local middle and high school, public and private, had a similar goal? Wouldn't it be amazing if the Wootton community led the way for the rest of us? Wouldn't it be an amazing tribute to the principal who sacrificed his life (I believe) for Wootton?

You could form a 'panel of experts' to speak to kids and parents at other schools. The experts would be the parents and kids with direct experience. You could ask Captain Didone to guide you and be part of your panel. He knows this from every single angle.

You know what would be the ultimate amazing thing?
If 'Mr. Lawyer' himself got off his high horse, and opened his eyes to all the suffering people he's surrounded by. He may find he's just a regular person, but with a law degree and a bunch of money. Wouldn't it be amazing if he put it to good use? This is the time. Today.

[Anonymous]

Parents can pat themselves on the back for the petition. But consider a response from a Wooten student:

I keep thinking about this comment. If I were not to post it, I would be holding these agitating feelings in, in addition to my immense sadness from the accident. So here it goes. This dream world that you write about is quite shallow. You are writing about one of your students parents, so how could you publicize such hatred towards the family of one of your many children because you claim your students are your children. Family does not make things worse for their own family, but they do support them no matter the mistake. Mistake may be a too easily dismissible word, but there is no other word to describe the situation. As a friend to the kids who died and a person on the inside, I know where I am coming from. You are not making this healing process any better with these messages, not only is it too soon, but Wootton students stand together, so most would not agree with your harshness towards a peer's parent even though their parent may agree with you. Therefore, you are creating more division between youth and guardians, the exact opposite of what is needed. A parent allowed or didn't allow alcohol in their house, either way alcohol was present. But with the history of the people at this high school binge drinking, if a house were not accessible with parents present, then a house would be found where the parents may be out of town, and I know this because, once again, I am on the inside. It is not about who did this because blaming people does not change anything, but it is about voicing the right message. The message to keep your own kids on track so they don't make bad decisions because natural selection is unfortunately how our world works. This may be harsh, but it is the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/potomac/2015/09/21/family-n-potomac-crash-victim-releases-statement/72583840/

I'm not sure how I feel with this statement. I agree with most of it, especially that the host parent should be held criminally responsible. However, their child wasn't doing right either. It feels like they are blaming everyone else, without admitting that their son was drinking underage.

I agree that it wasn't acknowledged in their latest statement, but you can see both of them responded to the following blog post and they most definitely recognize that their son made poor choices that night...

http://evvastarr.com/1/post/2015/07/i-make-this-oath.html#comments

Thank you for sharing this, I imagine mostly from the Wootton community.
It gives me hope for tomorrow for the first time in the 73 pages of this thread. Again, my most sincere gratitude from the bottom of my heart, as these problems are getting worse in most of our communities.

Wouldn't it be amazing if every local middle and high school, public and private, had a similar goal? Wouldn't it be amazing if the Wootton community led the way for the rest of us? Wouldn't it be an amazing tribute to the principal who sacrificed his life (I believe) for Wootton?

You could form a 'panel of experts' to speak to kids and parents at other schools. The experts would be the parents and kids with direct experience. You could ask Captain Didone to guide you and be part of your panel. He knows this from every single angle.

You know what would be the ultimate amazing thing?
If 'Mr. Lawyer' himself got off his high horse, and opened his eyes to all the suffering people he's surrounded by. He may find he's just a regular person, but with a law degree and a bunch of money. Wouldn't it be amazing if he put it to good use? This is the time. Today.

Did you read comments by the students? Did that give you "hope for tomorrow"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents can pat themselves on the back for the petition. But consider a response from a Wooten student:

I keep thinking about this comment. If I were not to post it, I would be holding these agitating feelings in, in addition to my immense sadness from the accident. So here it goes. This dream world that you write about is quite shallow. You are writing about one of your students parents, so how could you publicize such hatred towards the family of one of your many children because you claim your students are your children. Family does not make things worse for their own family, but they do support them no matter the mistake. Mistake may be a too easily dismissible word, but there is no other word to describe the situation. As a friend to the kids who died and a person on the inside, I know where I am coming from. You are not making this healing process any better with these messages, not only is it too soon, but Wootton students stand together, so most would not agree with your harshness towards a peer's parent even though their parent may agree with you. Therefore, you are creating more division between youth and guardians, the exact opposite of what is needed. A parent allowed or didn't allow alcohol in their house, either way alcohol was present. But with the history of the people at this high school binge drinking, if a house were not accessible with parents present, then a house would be found where the parents may be out of town, and I know this because, once again, I am on the inside. It is not about who did this because blaming people does not change anything, but it is about voicing the right message. The message to keep your own kids on track so they don't make bad decisions because natural selection is unfortunately how our world works. This may be harsh, but it is the truth.

Teens will find and drink alcohol.

[Anonymous]

I am a mom who had a graduation party for my own child at my house, just days before the crash. And frankly, while there was no alcohol involved, I was extremely stressed because with teens you never know if they managed to get their hands on it somewhere else.

I greeted everyone, was constantly circulating with food and drinks, and keeping a discreet eye on everyone. I sat with a book in a quite secluded corner of the house and as each kid left, I went to give them a quick hug and wish them the best for college. It was a way to check their breath for alcohol. Yes, it is sneaky and paranoid. But I also know that these kids are not experienced drivers, so combine that with darkness of night, distraction of friends in their car and alcohol and the risks are immense.

I was not even sure if these kids went straight home after the party at my house. I could not relax completely until the next day. DH told me that I need to let go and I remember telling him that I do not want anyone's kid to be in a crash after they left my house. When I heard the news about the fatal crash, it was heartbreaking, because this happens with alarming regularity each year, does it not?

Parents not allowing underage drinking is just one of the measures, but there has to be something more that we can do. Maybe, bring back driver's ed in school? Maybe use a taxi service when they are at a party? Maybe lobby for a device for teens that will not allow the car to start if everyone is not wearing seatbelts? Because it is not one thing, it is a combination of things.



And

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am a mom who had a graduation party for my own child at my house, just days before the crash. And frankly, while there was no alcohol involved, I was extremely stressed because with teens you never know if they managed to get their hands on it somewhere else.

I greeted everyone, was constantly circulating with food and drinks, and keeping a discreet eye on everyone. I sat with a book in a quite secluded corner of the house and as each kid left, I went to give them a quick hug and wish them the best for college. It was a way to check their breath for alcohol. Yes, it is sneaky and paranoid. But I also know that these kids are not experienced drivers, so combine that with darkness of night, distraction of friends in their car and alcohol and the risks are immense.

I was not even sure if these kids went straight home after the party at my house. I could not relax completely until the next day. DH told me that I need to let go and I remember telling him that I do not want anyone's kid to be in a crash after they left my house. When I heard the news about the fatal crash, it was heartbreaking, because this happens with alarming regularity each year, does it not?

Parents not allowing underage drinking is just one of the measures, but there has to be something more that we can do. Maybe, bring back driver's ed in school? Maybe use a taxi service when they are at a party? Maybe lobby for a device for teens that will not allow the car to start if everyone is not wearing seatbelts? Because it is not one thing, it is a combination of things.



And

This is a parent who cares about your kids, not just her own. We need more parents just like her. If only party girl Saltzman had a parent anything like that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am a mom who had a graduation party for my own child at my house, just days before the crash. And frankly, while there was no alcohol involved, I was extremely stressed because with teens you never know if they managed to get their hands on it somewhere else.

I greeted everyone, was constantly circulating with food and drinks, and keeping a discreet eye on everyone. I sat with a book in a quite secluded corner of the house and as each kid left, I went to give them a quick hug and wish them the best for college. It was a way to check their breath for alcohol. Yes, it is sneaky and paranoid. But I also know that these kids are not experienced drivers, so combine that with darkness of night, distraction of friends in their car and alcohol and the risks are immense.

I was not even sure if these kids went straight home after the party at my house. I could not relax completely until the next day. DH told me that I need to let go and I remember telling him that I do not want anyone's kid to be in a crash after they left my house. When I heard the news about the fatal crash, it was heartbreaking, because this happens with alarming regularity each year, does it not?

Parents not allowing underage drinking is just one of the measures, but there has to be something more that we can do. Maybe, bring back driver's ed in school? Maybe use a taxi service when they are at a party? Maybe lobby for a device for teens that will not allow the car to start if everyone is not wearing seatbelts? Because it is not one thing, it is a combination of things.



And

It comes down to not thinking 16 and 18yr olds should be binge drinking as normal and parents turning blind eye about it. No amount of other coddling efforts on others will help until society changes as a whole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't you people know that once you have the first drink, your ability to make rational decisions goes down with each drink? Is this rocket science?

Bingo. Which is why the adult who knew what was going on, had a moral obligation to make sure these kids got home safely.
It's on him, IMO.
Morally, if not legally.

Did the police check his alcohol level? Maybe he wasn't all there, either.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the Murk's are gearing up for a civil suit -- blaming others and taking no responsibility of their son's actions.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they should put that energy and money in a positive way, educating the public, so that something like this never happens again.

Nothing will bring back their son, but maybe someone else's child could be saved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/potomac/2015/09/21/family-n-potomac-crash-victim-releases-statement/72583840/

I'm not sure how I feel with this statement. I agree with most of it, especially that the host parent should be held criminally responsible. However, their child wasn't doing right either. It feels like they are blaming everyone else, without admitting that their son was drinking underage.

I agree that it wasn't acknowledged in their latest statement, but you can see both of them responded to the following blog post and they most definitely recognize that their son made poor choices that night...

http://evvastarr.com/1/post/2015/07/i-make-this-oath.html#comments

Thank you for sharing this, I imagine mostly from the Wootton community.
It gives me hope for tomorrow for the first time in the 73 pages of this thread. Again, my most sincere gratitude from the bottom of my heart, as these problems are getting worse in most of our communities.

Wouldn't it be amazing if every local middle and high school, public and private, had a similar goal? Wouldn't it be amazing if the Wootton community led the way for the rest of us? Wouldn't it be an amazing tribute to the principal who sacrificed his life (I believe) for Wootton?

You could form a 'panel of experts' to speak to kids and parents at other schools. The experts would be the parents and kids with direct experience. You could ask Captain Didone to guide you and be part of your panel. He knows this from every single angle.

You know what would be the ultimate amazing thing?
If 'Mr. Lawyer' himself got off his high horse, and opened his eyes to all the suffering people he's surrounded by. He may find he's just a regular person, but with a law degree and a bunch of money. Wouldn't it be amazing if he put it to good use? This is the time. Today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the Murk's are gearing up for a civil suit -- blaming others and taking no responsibility of their son's actions.

Sounds like you need a better team of lawyers. Didn't someone mention oj on this thread? Was that you?