Being a parent to my kid with autism is like being in the worst abusive relationship I can't leave

[Anonymous]

FML.

[Anonymous]

No suggestions. Just solidarity. It is so so hard. And it certainly isn’t as nice as they said Holland would be. Some days just suck and other days aren’t awful. That’s the bar…today wasn’t awful.

[Anonymous]

I’m very sorry, op. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. My husband and son have ADHD and HFA and it's only horrible on occasion. Not every day, or even every week. Rarely when my husband goes round the bend and makes us all suffer, or they start to fight, or I need to save what my son has completely messed up, I want to kill myself, but then I realize, why would I suffer for the idiocies of others? I still have years of life to enjoy with my friends, and my other child who is delightful and deserves my love and care. So I power through.

Hugs from me. What sort of plan do you have for respite care?

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you. Are you seeing a therapist for yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. My husband and son have ADHD and HFA and it's only horrible on occasion. Not every day, or even every week. Rarely when my husband goes round the bend and makes us all suffer, or they start to fight, or I need to save what my son has completely messed up, I want to kill myself, but then I realize, why would I suffer for the idiocies of others? I still have years of life to enjoy with my friends, and my other child who is delightful and deserves my love and care. So I power through.

Hugs from me. What sort of plan do you have for respite care?

If your husband's behavior is so bad that it makes you feel suicidal, you need to be thinking about divorce. If not for you, then for your children who are learning that behavior is acceptable.

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like that all/most of the time, or just when it gets really bad? I'm just asking because occasionally I think "this is like being trapped!!" "how is this acceptable?" And when I feel like that, I feel like it ALWAYS feels like that. But the truth is it doesn't. It helps me to remember that perspective when it feels that way.

How old is your child? For me it has gotten better with time and maturity. (two kids, one ASD/ADHD/Anxiety/Depression, one ADHD/Anxiety/suspected OCD)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like that all/most of the time, or just when it gets really bad? I'm just asking because occasionally I think "this is like being trapped!!" "how is this acceptable?" And when I feel like that, I feel like it ALWAYS feels like that. But the truth is it doesn't. It helps me to remember that perspective when it feels that way.

How old is your child? For me it has gotten better with time and maturity. (two kids, one ASD/ADHD/Anxiety/Depression, one ADHD/Anxiety/suspected OCD)

Big hugs, OP. I have felt the same way at times, but like pp, things have improved. I really hope you have a trusted person to confide in. Even if they have no advice, sometimes it just helps to unload to someone without judgment.

[Anonymous]

There was a period of our lives where we felt like this too. Big hugs to you, OP. For us, it got better when we found the right medication dose for his anxiety.

[Anonymous]

It's so hard. We're new to this and my son is highly functioning but has issues reading people. He's 5 years old but very tall, so he seems older than he is. Today a dad at the pool started screaming and cursing at him and my child still wanted to play with his kids. We're starting ABA therapy soon but at this point in time I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so hard. We're new to this and my son is highly functioning but has issues reading people. He's 5 years old but very tall, so he seems older than he is. Today a dad at the pool started screaming and cursing at him and my child still wanted to play with his kids. We're starting ABA therapy soon but at this point in time I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

That dad acted horribly. No adult should scream and curse at a child. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. I have felt that way too. We are ok at the moment but I’m scared about what the transition a new school year will bring. I understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so hard. We're new to this and my son is highly functioning but has issues reading people. He's 5 years old but very tall, so he seems older than he is. Today a dad at the pool started screaming and cursing at him and my child still wanted to play with his kids. We're starting ABA therapy soon but at this point in time I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

That dad acted horribly. No adult should scream and curse at a child. I'm sorry.

Thank you. I know I'm playing armchair psychologist but the dad seemed to be on the spectrum too - I can recognize the atypical speech prosody, the loud and monotone voice - and had horrible anger issues at a minimum. He flipped out on my 5 year old because he said he'd share his toy with his much older son but then walked away with the toy and his son was upset. He started screaming at my child and calling him rude and a prick. Mine doesn't understand and went back to play with his children while the dad kept screaming at mine "son, I told you to go away." WTF do you do in situations like these? How do I prevent him from being abused later in life?

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

I totally get it. Have a son with serious mental health issues. There were a few years where the things we went through weren’t the sort of things we would even share. It became so lonely. Honestly we were always relieved when he got hospitalized because we got a break. I’m sorry OP and everyone else who gets this.