How to manage a compulsive talker? Mental illness suspected, close relative

[Anonymous]

Has anyone ever successfully approached a dear relative (or friend) with an intervention or a conversation that led to the relative scaling back their nonstop talking? The usual methods have all been attempted and failed, repeatedly. I think this is a clinical problem that calls for a professional. I have been blunt, brutally honest about how awful it is to be trapped and unable to get away from their non-stop blathering. I've walked out when possible. I've been kind, I've been nasty. I am convinced that I, as a non-medical professional, am powerless to help them change their behavior.

This is a close relative, and I love her. Several other people in the family have pointed out to her that she never. stops. talking but she doesn't change. I think she has some type of anxiety and/or compulsive disorder and/or ADHD but encouraging her to 'get help' goes nowhere.

My recourse is to limit the time I spend with her to preserve my sanity, but that does make me sad. We used to be much closer and she was more enjoyable company.

[Anonymous]

How old is she?

[Anonymous]

I have two of these in my family. I’ve learned to look like I’m listening while continuing on with my day.

[Anonymous]

Help isn't free. Can she afford it and still live indoors and eat in the same month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

Late 40s. The situation has grown unbearable in the last 3-4 years after previously being merely outgoing and highly engaging.

[Anonymous]

PP here---I have a step sister who is like this. I almost never see her so it's manageable, but when I was younger and had to see her more it was crazy making.

In her case, she had been in a terrible car accident that broke her brain stem and left her in a lengthy coma. It changed her ability to think and process information.

Does your relative have something like that going on--some sort of head injury or brain injury from seizures or something? If so, then no amount of therapy will stop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help isn't free. Can she afford it and still live indoors and eat in the same month?

Yes, excellent insurance. Has resisted any and all exhortations to "see a therapist" or just "talk to somebody" about feelings of anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

Late 40s. The situation has grown unbearable in the last 3-4 years after previously being merely outgoing and highly engaging.

A change like this (going from outgoing/fun to nonsensical blathering and anxiety) probably means something else is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help isn't free. Can she afford it and still live indoors and eat in the same month?

Yes, excellent insurance. Has resisted any and all exhortations to "see a therapist" or just "talk to somebody" about feelings of anxiety.

That's too bad. I have a family member who is going through some similar struggles. Lassitude or a stigma about therapy/mental health services would be helpfu with her vertigo and anxiety. She is stuck, as your family member seems to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

Late 40s. The situation has grown unbearable in the last 3-4 years after previously being merely outgoing and highly engaging.

A change like this (going from outgoing/fun to nonsensical blathering and anxiety) probably means something else is going on.

Like a pandemic? We all got to be more extreme versions of ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

Late 40s. The situation has grown unbearable in the last 3-4 years after previously being merely outgoing and highly engaging.

Who does she live with? And how do they cope?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

Late 40s. The situation has grown unbearable in the last 3-4 years after previously being merely outgoing and highly engaging.

Who does she live with? And how do they cope?

A spouse and kids. The kids wear AirPods the majority of the time and stare at their phones and tune out. Spouse ignores, somehow, and makes himself scarce.

It's mostly people who are "fresh meat" outside the immediate family who bear the brunt of the prattle, meandering stories from the 80s, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is only over the last 3-4 years?

[Anonymous]

She may have pressured speech or not have the cognitive ability to manage her own flow of conversation. It may be partially or fully out of her control.

It could be hormonal changes on top of the mental illness have led to less cognitive control.

The inability or lessened ability to inhibit and control your own feelings, thoughts, speech etc is pretty common with many mental illnesses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she?

Late 40s. The situation has grown unbearable in the last 3-4 years after previously being merely outgoing and highly engaging.

Who does she live with? And how do they cope?

A spouse and kids. The kids wear AirPods the majority of the time and stare at their phones and tune out. Spouse ignores, somehow, and makes himself scarce.

It's mostly people who are "fresh meat" outside the immediate family who bear the brunt of the prattle, meandering stories from the 80s, etc.

The meandering stories from decades ago sounds like dementia.