When does homesickness come?

Anonymous
Dropped off my oldest OOS 2 weeks ago and just heard that he "thinks he may stay at school for Thanksgiving". While I am glad he is not homesick, I am also pretty offended that he is not. Is this common behavior for kids starting off at college? I would have said we were close, but I think I have to reassess that. I'm not sure how to respond.
Anonymous
The first few weeks are packed with activities and for someone who is taking advantage of all that, it probably hits once things calm down. For the students who aren't getting out there, it's probably already happening.
Anonymous
Sorry your feelings are hurt, OP. Good that you’re venting here. I’m sure you are close. Stay positive when you communicate with him. I just dropped off my DC, too. I think I would say something like- I hope you choose to come home, but if not, I will be so happy to see you over Christmas/holiday break.
Anonymous
You should be glad he is already so engaged at school. That is a very good sign.

It is early to worry about Thanksgiving, since he may not realize campus will be pretty empty that weekend.

Glad he is adjusting well (which does not mean you aren't close, it means he is ready for this phase of his life, and you got him there. ) Also, he is happy with his choice of school: all good things.
Anonymous
Be happy that your son is having a good time at college. Take it as a good sign that he’s adjusting well. Don’t be offended that he may want to stay on campus for Thanksgiving, especially if he’s far away. Maybe he’ll be invited to a friend’s or professor’s house for dinner? Maybe you and DH can go visit for Parents Weekend or plan a nice getaway for just the 2 of you.
Anonymous
I literally never experienced homesickness as an undergraduate. My parents actually complained that I didn't contact them frequently enough.
Anonymous
Not everyone gets homesick. My mother and I thought we were very close when I was 17/18 but once I got out of my house and started meeting other kids and hearing about what their home lives were like, I realized how deeply messed up the dynamic was in my home and pulled away.
Anonymous
Are the dorms opened?
Anonymous
You should be proud of your kid that they feel confident. I would wait until Thanksgiving comes closer they may change their mind. Otherwise, enjoy your independence too!
Anonymous
OP, I know it's hard on you, but it's great for him if he's not homesick.

FWIW, my parents and I were close and I was never homesick. Loved college from the moment they dropped me off.
Anonymous
By parents' weekend. Are you going? I had a super confident kid and because of a few other reasons, cancelled my plans for her first parents' weekend. Huge mistake. She called me in tears missing home more than she thought possible.
Anonymous
I never became homesick, but was happy to see my parents on the parents weekend and then Thanksgiving. Some kids are excited to try new things.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, I know it's hard on you, but it's great for him if he's not homesick.

FWIW, my parents and I were close and I was never homesick. Loved college from the moment they dropped me off.


+1
Anonymous
My untreated and diagnosed anxiety freshman year of college over 30 years ago manifested itself in “homesickness” that began immediately after my parents dropped me off and continued into the first semester.

Be grateful this isn’t the case for your DC.
Anonymous
Undiagnosed
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