Question for anyone who belongs to a country or other club

[Anonymous]

We are close with two families who belong to country clubs and they each invite us to join them for the day 1-2 times during the summer. When they have us out they always end up treating us to lunch/dinner/drinks since we can’t pay on our own at the club.

We always thank them (and at first offered to pay them back for our share which they always refused), but I am curious to hear from people who belong to clubs - do you genuinely not care about treating friends all the time? Do you wish they would send you some other kind of thanks at some point? Or are you just trying to work off your F&B minimum so it’s actually helpful (which one friend mentioned a while ago in passing)?

I am just trying to figure out if we need to find a way to reciprocate after each visit or not.

[Anonymous]

Regardless of the F&B min, this is still a meal they are inviting you to and treating you too. You should reciprocate by inviting them to your home, dinner, etc. it doesn’t matter that is a country club.

[Anonymous]

Btw, they have to float your guest costs at the pool too (~$25 per guest).

[Anonymous]

We're just enjoying your company. Don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're just enjoying your company. Don't worry about it.

This

[Anonymous]

Ours doesn’t have a F&B minimum. I don’t expect anything in return.

[Anonymous]

What is F&B? I want to be ready for when I get fancy friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is F&B? I want to be ready for when I get fancy friends.

Food and beverage. Many clubs have a minimum amount you must spend on food and beverages a month.

If I invite you, I am expecting and happy to pay. I don’t expect anything in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is F&B? I want to be ready for when I get fancy friends.

Food and beverage minimum. Probably an additional $20,000+ on top of member fees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're just enjoying your company. Don't worry about it.

+ 1

We’re happy to have your company and we don’t want anything in return.

We use our club very often to entertain in the summer because we rarely entertain in our home. We don’t really like having a bunch of people in our home and all the cooking and preparations are tiresome. By going to our club, we can just focus on hanging out with our friends and having a great time with them.

[Anonymous]

I’m always happy to apply the funds to our minimum. No worries!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is F&B? I want to be ready for when I get fancy friends.

Food and beverage minimum. Probably an additional $20,000+ on top of member fees.

20,000??? What club has that high of a minimum? We belonged to a club in another city that had a minimum of a couple hundred a month - that was about 15 years or so ago. So it is likely higher now but presumably nowhere near 1,600+ per month. We are now in a different city and our current club has no minimum (we lived in the DC area for several years in between and did not belong anywhere).

[Anonymous]

Food and beverage minimum. Probably an additional $20,000+ on top of member fees.

No club in this area has a minimum anywhere near that. Our club has an annual minimum of $1200.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours doesn’t have a F&B minimum. I don’t expect anything in return.

It’s not that you want something in return, it’s that no one wants a one sided friendship. Any friend that thinks “oh they had to spend that anyway” has a strange perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is F&B? I want to be ready for when I get fancy friends.

Food and beverage minimum. Probably an additional $20,000+ on top of member fees.

Nope. Most are a couple hundred a month max. Some of the top ones are $400/quarter