Freshman parents - how are you feeling?

[Anonymous]

I honestly didn't expect to feel this emotional. My oldest leaves in a few weeks so it's all a first for me. I am so happy to see him fly but at the same time there is so much going through my head and random memories and some melancholy I can't seem to shake.

[Anonymous]

Same. Happy for my kid but feeling very sad he won’t live here anymore. He is such a great person to be around.

[Anonymous]

Very sad. This is my youngest leaving and I didn't feel quite this sad when the older ones left - because I still had children at home. It will be surreal to have this child leave and the house will be truly empty.

[Anonymous]

Existential dread. My youngest leaves in 4 weeks. I'm literally counting every day. My nest will be empty, and I'm torn into pieces. So happy for my kid, who's excited. We're busy packing, getting ready. She's choosing posters for her room today from a website her older sister used. I'm trying to hold it together, and smile when I drop off my DD at college. But I'l be crying every moment of the four-hour drive home.

[Anonymous]

Feeling all of this. Want her to fly but so not ready for her to go.

[Anonymous]

So happy for my son. He is the youngest -funny, bright, loving. He has been giving us a lot of kisses and hugs since he knows that we will miss him at home. And since he is 50 minutes away, he has promised to come for all the important celebrations at home.

[Anonymous]

[Parent of rising sophomore here] - Thank you for your honest responses. It was very hard not having my kid at home this year. He is home for the summer and sometimes I look at him and it’s like when you watch your baby sleeping. Overwhelming feelings of love and a kind of grief. Take care of yourselves, everyone. I totally empathize.

[Anonymous]

This is my last. We can’t wait and neither can he!!! Happy days!

[Anonymous]

We have worked ourselves out of a job. Gone are the weekends spent traveling for soccer. The horse camps and the hand print turkeys are now all a distant memory.

We have a delayed trip scheduled for the day after move-in. We are no longer bound by school and sports schedules.

It is bittersweet, but we are so ready!!!

[Anonymous]

Parent of rising sophomore here (NP), it really shines a light on your relationship with your spouse (if married) and if that is not so good, it's miserable. That being said, they do come home and even though my DC has been working all summer, i have loved having him here and it's been such a blissfully long summer - much longer than in HS.

I have to say I'm having a harder time this summer because a. I know what it felt like without him and I didn't like it, and b. there is alot of talk about internships in DC next summer so I kind of fear this summer will be the last normal summer where he lives at home.

For freshman parents, just don't show them you're upset. Save that for the car ride home. This is their time to fly and you need to let them without any of your emotions.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. If your marriage is strong you will love the freedom and the changing relationship with your child. If marriage is not strong it will be hard.

[Anonymous]

Kind of a mess. My youngest is heading to college, so we are looking at an empty nest. DH and I have a strong marriage and found plenty to do pre-kids. In fact, having kids and losing the freedom to pick up and go— away for the night, to a nice dinner, etc. was a huge adjustment. But I’m not sure yet how we navigate back to that mentality of having so much freedom.

My first kid started college in Fall 2020, and it wasn’t as bad as I thought, because we were so focused on the logistics of getting him to school during COVID, uncertainty over whether the college would stay open, anxiously watching COVID numbers at his college— and supporting our HS junior through DL. And he started late, was home Thanksgiving to 2/1, etc. long breaks.

This kid will be different because she was home for more than a year of DL and we became very close. I’m going to miss the heck out of her. And yes, it seems surreal.

I’m trying to practice gratitude. This was always the goal, right— to have a happy, healthy, well adjusted kid ready to leave the nest and start their own lives after graduation. She’s excited for college, and I believe she is ready academically and adulting wise. I know kids she grew up with who crashed during COVID and are going the CC transfer route because of junior year grades (they’ll end up fine, but for now they are unhappily living at home, often with a lot of friction); kids with SNs who may never be able to leave home; parents of kids with EDs or substance abuse or significant mental health issues who are very scared of how their kid will manage.

I believe I did my job as a parent well— or at least gave it 100%. But there was also luck involved to getting DD to this place. There but for the Grace of God.

So, I’m trying to be grateful both kids got into very good fit colleges; they are healthy, happy and productive; they both came out of COVID with mental health intact; even if we hit a recession, we have help from grandparents and savings and can get them through college without loans (them or us). These are amazing outcomes 18 years of hard work.

Sometimes being grateful works. And sometimes thinking about DD leaving hurts so much it feels like a physical pain. It’s going to be a rocky couple of months.

[Anonymous]

I'm so excited for my oldest to experience college. I'm probably more excited than he is. I don't know why I don't feel loss about this, but so far I don't. I'm just so excited for him.

[Anonymous]

I’m sad he is going so far away. He also would have preferred a closer school but chose the school that was the best fit overall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[Parent of rising sophomore here] - Thank you for your honest responses. It was very hard not having my kid at home this year. He is home for the summer and sometimes I look at him and it’s like when you watch your baby sleeping. Overwhelming feelings of love and a kind of grief. Take care of yourselves, everyone. I totally empathize.

Same position and you said it very well pp.

A friend described drop-off as your heart is both soaring and breaking.

For me, the summer has flown by and for him, excited to return.