Would you pay your friend back for masks?

[Anonymous]

If you ran out of masks and your friend gave you two masks (more expensive than surgical masks), would you pay them back through an app if you said multiple times that you would pay and they said that you didn't need to pay? Also, two days have passed since they gave you the masks.

Would it be weird to say that you were just paying as a token of your appreciation? I may be overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

If they said you didn't need to pay, you should have just left it as-is. With that said, I wouldn't pay since they said not to. Masks aren't that expensive.

[Anonymous]

It depends. Are purchasing kn95 masks a financial stretch for this family?
I buy kn95 masks in bulk in kid and adult size and hand them out like candy to my kids’ friends if we need to go inside the library or an ice cream shop. I give them to colleagues if they forget. I do not want or need $1-2 every time I hand out a mask. If you were my friend and I asked you to drop the issue twice, I would find it strange that you keep bringing it up.

You either pay quickly - like as soon as you get home you send $5 without asking “thanks for the masks!” Or you drop it. If you ask and they said no, just drop it.

[Anonymous]

I would never offer to pay my friend for a mask in the first place—we’re friends

But if I were you I’d pay because I gave my word. And in the future, reconsider being this transactional with someone whose friendship I value over a measly 5, 10 bucks.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, PPs! I'm probably overly careful about things like this.

Would you say the same thing if your friend also let you use her hand sanitizer multiple times?

[Anonymous]

Are they like $25 Happy masks? Then, yes, I would probably Venmo later and just say "I appreciate the masks so much. Thanks!"

If they are $2 masks, I wouldn't. I probably wouldn't have offered to pay then, honestly, because none of my friends are in a place where $5 makes a difference. But if they gave me masks and we were about to order coffee or something, I would pay for theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would never offer to pay my friend for a mask in the first place—we’re friends

But if I were you I’d pay because I gave my word. And in the future, reconsider being this transactional with someone whose friendship I value over a measly 5, 10 bucks.

Thanks! Of course I value this friendship more than the money. I want to pay--I'm just worried that it'd seem weird.

[Anonymous]

My friend gave me fancy masks and all I said was "Thank you very much".

Now they've refused your offer of reimbursement, all you have to do is send them a nice photo of you wearing the mask, with a thank you. They will appreciate it more than money.

[Anonymous]

The KN94s I buy in bulk are $1 plus change. Not a big deal.

If you are the borrower, drop the issue and make sure not to be stingy with this friend in the future. You can always look for small opportunities to be generous with them, like buying their coffee or paying for their lunch, without mentioning that it's a repayment, because it's not. It's part of a friendship of reciprocity and generosity!

If you are the lender and they've insisted on repaying, accept the money graciously and know that this friend may expect you to be similarly fastidious about repayments in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are they like $25 Happy masks? Then, yes, I would probably Venmo later and just say "I appreciate the masks so much. Thanks!"

If they are $2 masks, I wouldn't. I probably wouldn't have offered to pay then, honestly, because none of my friends are in a place where $5 makes a difference. But if they gave me masks and we were about to order coffee or something, I would pay for theirs.

this. I lent a friend my daughters swim cap yesterday and it ripped this morning. She texted me and said she would buy me a new one. I told her not to worry about it, it’s lasted several months. I think we both did the right thing. She offered, I said no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, PPs! I'm probably overly careful about things like this.

Would you say the same thing if your friend also let you use her hand sanitizer multiple times?

Oh my god, you are seriously in need of help, and I'm not saying that to be cruel - you genuinely do need help to figure out normal friendship boundaries. People SHARE with their friends. People GIVE to their friends. In a normal friendship there's give and take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never offer to pay my friend for a mask in the first place—we’re friends

But if I were you I’d pay because I gave my word. And in the future, reconsider being this transactional with someone whose friendship I value over a measly 5, 10 bucks.

Thanks! Of course I value this friendship more than the money. I want to pay--I'm just worried that it'd seem weird.

I'm a different PP. Can you give us more details about you, this person, and the friendship? Are you guys both struggling waitresses who just met? Then, yes, you should still probably pay because $5 might make a difference and you said you would. If you use their hand sanitizer all the time (not just a few times during one outing), buy your own and share, or buy another for them to replace what you've used.

If you are both financially comfortable, let it go, and stop insisting on paying for things if they have already told you they don't expect money back. If the other person is constantly lending you stuff, rather than giving money, buy their coffee sometimes, or just be helpful in some way (e.g., like offer a ride home, but don't say "because you gave me the makss, I will now offer to drive you.")

[Anonymous]

God no. Just grab their tab the next time you get coffee or whatever. Friends help and friends don’t nickel and dime

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

I would never pay for a mask, never ever.