Hope after divorce

[Anonymous]

I’m divorced with an 8 year old. I really enjoyed being a wife, though I think I was married to the wrong person (mental health/abuse issues). I’d like to remarry one day, but for reason feel like that’s a pipe dream. Can others share their experiences with a second chance at marriage?

[Anonymous]

Not me, but my mom remarried later in life (raised us a single mom from when I was age 10). Her DH is a fantastic guy, they are a perfect fit and very much in love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to remarry one day,

Why? If you don't want to have more kids, what's the point?

[Anonymous]

How old are you, OP?

[Anonymous]

I'm looking for hope too, OP... hugs.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I’m 40. I want to remarry because I enjoy the companionship and stability that a good marriage can provide. I enjoy doing family activities, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d like to remarry one day,

Why? If you don't want to have more kids, what's the point?

Why does marriage only have to be for having kids? It's not 1950, we can have sex outside of marriage now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I’m 40. I want to remarry because I enjoy the companionship and stability that a good marriage can provide. I enjoy doing family activities, etc.

Right? I like being married even if I feel as though my DH and I could part amicably at this point.

[Anonymous]

OP. I am divorced with kids. I also thought I wanted to be remarried for the reasons you cite. I have been in a long term relationship with a fantastic man who also has kids. We don't live together. While we do 'family things' all together, we maintain our own homes and care for our own families and make time for our relationship without the pressures of "family blending'. It's incredibly freeing to feel that connection but still be solo. So yes, there is hope. You'll be ok alone. Remarriage is not the answer always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. I am divorced with kids. I also thought I wanted to be remarried for the reasons you cite. I have been in a long term relationship with a fantastic man who also has kids. We don't live together. While we do 'family things' all together, we maintain our own homes and care for our own families and make time for our relationship without the pressures of "family blending'. It's incredibly freeing to feel that connection but still be solo. So yes, there is hope. You'll be ok alone. Remarriage is not the answer always.

DP. But it's also ok to want to be in the same space, to have that family unit that was lost in the divorce. I do think blended families are a different situation, but I WANT to share a home with a new partner one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. I am divorced with kids. I also thought I wanted to be remarried for the reasons you cite. I have been in a long term relationship with a fantastic man who also has kids. We don't live together. While we do 'family things' all together, we maintain our own homes and care for our own families and make time for our relationship without the pressures of "family blending'. It's incredibly freeing to feel that connection but still be solo. So yes, there is hope. You'll be ok alone. Remarriage is not the answer always.

DP. But it's also ok to want to be in the same space, to have that family unit that was lost in the divorce. I do think blended families are a different situation, but I WANT to share a home with a new partner one day.

You may want to share a home one day (as do I) but do my kids? Is it fair to ask them to share a home with another family? I am not saying that it's always wrong but in my situation, it would be disruptive to move schools just because I want to share a home with my romantic partner. It's also incredibly freeing to be in a relationship that is not weighted down by the day to day mundanities of keeping a home with someone. When we are together, we aren't talking about who is doing what for what kid and who is running what errand. I don't know, after a long marriage, I am enjoying being in a relationship where we can discuss our mutual interests etc and not just the day to day sh*t of running a family. And don't get me wrong, we are very much enmeshed in one another's lives and support one another's kids in their endeavors. But we are two families units. It works and I am just here to say there is hope after divorce but it doesn't have to be 'remarriage'.

[Anonymous]

PP do you and your partner spend time together with extended family? How did you meet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP do you and your partner spend time together with extended family? How did you meet?

My mother met her now DH on an internet dating site.

[Anonymous]

I got married a second time. And I married someone "messy" in that he has their kids full time. This relationship is so much happier than my old one. And weirdly, my exDH and I get along SO MUCH better now that we're apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP do you and your partner spend time together with extended family? How did you meet?

We met on a dating site and yes, we spend time together with extended family. We just did a summer vacation together (but my kids were with their dad) and we did a quasi spring break together. (met up with all kids for part of it in Florida). We've done Thanksgiving, Christmas etc together. But for example, if my kids are home for Christmas, I will do my solo thing with them and then we do something together. Or if he's at his family's for Christmas, I am usually with mine. Basically we aren't alone and if I join his, it's usually because my kids are with their dad or vice a versa. But that's not to say we haven't done stuff all together but we do make sure our kids get their own time with us if that makes sense.