What was going on in my mom’s head during this interaction?

[Anonymous]

We recently visited a touristy area with my mom. At the end of the trip, my mom asked to take my DD to a big tourist shop to pick out something she wanted “to remember the time she spent with grandma on the trip”. DD had her eyes set on these cheap little things that you pop onto Crocs, themed to the general location of where we were. She decided she really wanted one as her souvenir. My mom was hoping she’d pick out a keychain or tshirt from the location, and was hurt? upset? annoyed? that DD didn’t choose something with the location name on it that would make DD “think of her and the trip” when she wore/looked at it. DD was confused because she WOULD think of grandma when she looked at her Crocs. It was a really bizarre interaction. I didn’t want to start a fight (because knowing my mom, it would have) but I wanted to ask why she didn’t just surprise DD with the T-shirt or whatever she had in mind instead of allowing her to choose and then gripe about what she chose.

What was going on here? I’d love to understand what was going through my mom’s head.

[Anonymous]

You're thinking too hard about it. Your mom thinks people at souvenir shops buy tshirts or keychains. She was thrown by your daughter not fitting into that. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're thinking too hard about it. Your mom thinks people at souvenir shops buy tshirts or keychains. She was thrown by your daughter not fitting into that. That's all.

You’re probably right. It’s just her reaction was so extreme. She was flummoxed for the rest of the evening over it. Her whole mood changed and she kept talking about it.

[Anonymous]

Is this unusual behavior for your mother or part of a pattern of behavior?r

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're thinking too hard about it. Your mom thinks people at souvenir shops buy tshirts or keychains. She was thrown by your daughter not fitting into that. That's all.

You’re probably right. It’s just her reaction was so extreme. She was flummoxed for the rest of the evening over it. Her whole mood changed and she kept talking about it.

I agree with all of the above but also (because my mom does this and it’s gotten worse), I do believe people become so set in their ways of thinking as they age, that it’s hard for them to understand others viewpoints. It’s likely a combo of your moms personality, plus age. She probably has similar interactions with other people but because you are close to her, you witness it more frequently. I understand how difficult it can be dealing with that type of behavior. I have just learned that acceptance and detachment when necessary works for me.

[Anonymous]

You mother is the star and writer of The Grandma Show. On this episode, the family went on a child-centric vacation (was it gatorland? for some reason, i'm picturing this happening at gatorland). Everyone was having a good time but Grandma, because people weren't paying enough attention to her.

But Grandma is the star of the show, so she got to work making herself the center of attention. She cast herself in the role of Generous Granny, buying her granddaughter any souvenir she wanted.

But alas! Granddaughter picked the wrong souvenir! A gator charm for her crocs instead of a gator keychain?? Poor Grandma. Such a generous soul and so poorly treated by the granddaughter who had the gall to pick something she liked.

"She'll never remember me and the wonderful time we had watching chickens get fed to gators! when she looks at her shoes she will only think of merrily zooming down the Gator zipline!" Grandma exclaims, crying crocodile tears.

Everyone anxiously reassures Grandma they love her. Grandma turns to look out dreamily towards the camera, happy that all eyes are on her (for now)...

[Anonymous]

Don't give it another thought. Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mother is the star and writer of The Grandma Show. On this episode, the family went on a child-centric vacation (was it gatorland? for some reason, i'm picturing this happening at gatorland). Everyone was having a good time but Grandma, because people weren't paying enough attention to her.

But Grandma is the star of the show, so she got to work making herself the center of attention. She cast herself in the role of Generous Granny, buying her granddaughter any souvenir she wanted.

But alas! Granddaughter picked the wrong souvenir! A gator charm for her crocs instead of a gator keychain?? Poor Grandma. Such a generous soul and so poorly treated by the granddaughter who had the gall to pick something she liked.

"She'll never remember me and the wonderful time we had watching chickens get fed to gators! when she looks at her shoes she will only think of merrily zooming down the Gator zipline!" Grandma exclaims, crying crocodile tears.

Everyone anxiously reassures Grandma they love her. Grandma turns to look out dreamily towards the camera, happy that all eyes are on her (for now)...

I like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mother is the star and writer of The Grandma Show. On this episode, the family went on a child-centric vacation (was it gatorland? for some reason, i'm picturing this happening at gatorland). Everyone was having a good time but Grandma, because people weren't paying enough attention to her.

But Grandma is the star of the show, so she got to work making herself the center of attention. She cast herself in the role of Generous Granny, buying her granddaughter any souvenir she wanted.

But alas! Granddaughter picked the wrong souvenir! A gator charm for her crocs instead of a gator keychain?? Poor Grandma. Such a generous soul and so poorly treated by the granddaughter who had the gall to pick something she liked.

"She'll never remember me and the wonderful time we had watching chickens get fed to gators! when she looks at her shoes she will only think of merrily zooming down the Gator zipline!" Grandma exclaims, crying crocodile tears.

Everyone anxiously reassures Grandma they love her. Grandma turns to look out dreamily towards the camera, happy that all eyes are on her (for now)...

Spot. On.

I pictured it being like Atlantic City or something, and a giant striped taffy candy 🍬 Jibbitz.

[Anonymous]

I agree age and perspective have a lot to do with it. Our moms are in their 80s now, and we have so many irrational exchanges suddenly, it is sad and frustrating. Also prior norms are disappearing and new expectations arising without explanation, causing much confusion and misplaced offense. It's hard to keep up as their brains change.

[Anonymous]

I think that sometimes our understanding of our mortality gets the better of us...staring into the abyss wondering if the small speck of me will be remembered because I will not for long be among you. Be kind and give mom some extra hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mother is the star and writer of The Grandma Show. On this episode, the family went on a child-centric vacation (was it gatorland? for some reason, i'm picturing this happening at gatorland). Everyone was having a good time but Grandma, because people weren't paying enough attention to her.

But Grandma is the star of the show, so she got to work making herself the center of attention. She cast herself in the role of Generous Granny, buying her granddaughter any souvenir she wanted.

But alas! Granddaughter picked the wrong souvenir! A gator charm for her crocs instead of a gator keychain?? Poor Grandma. Such a generous soul and so poorly treated by the granddaughter who had the gall to pick something she liked.

"She'll never remember me and the wonderful time we had watching chickens get fed to gators! when she looks at her shoes she will only think of merrily zooming down the Gator zipline!" Grandma exclaims, crying crocodile tears.

Everyone anxiously reassures Grandma they love her. Grandma turns to look out dreamily towards the camera, happy that all eyes are on her (for now)...

Much love from me. Now please do the other threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You mother is the star and writer of The Grandma Show. On this episode, the family went on a child-centric vacation (was it gatorland? for some reason, i'm picturing this happening at gatorland). Everyone was having a good time but Grandma, because people weren't paying enough attention to her.

But Grandma is the star of the show, so she got to work making herself the center of attention. She cast herself in the role of Generous Granny, buying her granddaughter any souvenir she wanted.

But alas! Granddaughter picked the wrong souvenir! A gator charm for her crocs instead of a gator keychain?? Poor Grandma. Such a generous soul and so poorly treated by the granddaughter who had the gall to pick something she liked.

"She'll never remember me and the wonderful time we had watching chickens get fed to gators! when she looks at her shoes she will only think of merrily zooming down the Gator zipline!" Grandma exclaims, crying crocodile tears.

Everyone anxiously reassures Grandma they love her. Grandma turns to look out dreamily towards the camera, happy that all eyes are on her (for now)...

You are seriously amazing! Yes, please do the other threads!

[Anonymous]

This is your mother and you are asking us what she was thinking? Don’t tell me she hasn’t pulled this one on you before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is your mother and you are asking us what she was thinking? Don’t tell me she hasn’t pulled this one on you before?